Ellaho Posted November 10, 2019 Share Posted November 10, 2019 Maybe some of you have read my previous posts and whatnot but the summary of it is im 18 and he is 19, we dated for three years and broke up almost 6 months ago. At first we became fwb but i broke it off in august/early September. Yesterday night my ex and I were talking (we have been in regular contact) and I asked how his party was on friday night and he said it was okay and admitted that while he was out at a party he realised how ungrateful he was. He has jokingly said “can i be your boyfriend” or maybe seriously im not sure but usually I brush it off. Yesterday he asked if we could go out for dinner and movies I havent exactly gave him an answer as I am getting ready for an event. During this time we both have not seen or spoken to anyone new. Does anyone have any tips on how i should take this on. I don’t exactly want to get back without easing into it. I do still have feelings for him. Link to comment
boltnrun Posted November 10, 2019 Share Posted November 10, 2019 If you want to have dinner and see a movie with him I don't see why not. I very strongly recommend you do NOT end the evening with sex, however. Link to comment
smackie9 Posted November 10, 2019 Share Posted November 10, 2019 Go along with it without expectations. Keep your legs closed. Link to comment
Honeycomb8 Posted November 10, 2019 Share Posted November 10, 2019 He's still trying to get sex out of you. Link to comment
Honeycomb8 Posted November 10, 2019 Share Posted November 10, 2019 If you want to have dinner and see a movie with him I don't see why not. I very strongly recommend you do NOT end the evening with sex, however. She always sleeps with him, that's why he wanted fwb. This guy does not respect her the way she deserves, she's just wasting her time. Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted November 11, 2019 Share Posted November 11, 2019 I can't help but think he doesn't have the best of intentions. However, I do agree with others as in refusing to sleep with him, and hopefully you'll go with that advice. In short, when all is said and done he'll either sink or swim, yet you'll have your answer. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted November 11, 2019 Share Posted November 11, 2019 He's looking to get laid. You need to go no contact! Time to move on! Link to comment
Hollyj Posted November 11, 2019 Share Posted November 11, 2019 You keep on doing the same thing, expecting a different result. Why do you even ask for our advice? Link to comment
MirrorKnight Posted November 11, 2019 Share Posted November 11, 2019 He hasn't had sex for a few days and is feeling horny. Link to comment
Clio Posted November 11, 2019 Share Posted November 11, 2019 Do not have sex with him until you feel that you can genuinely trust him. That would require a lengthy period of him being consistent. If you think you can do that, then go out with him. But you need to leave your expectations out the door for a long time if you are going to do that as he may bolt again. Link to comment
Ellaho Posted November 11, 2019 Author Share Posted November 11, 2019 If you want to have dinner and see a movie with him I don't see why not. I very strongly recommend you do NOT end the evening with sex, however. I’ve already said i didnt want sex and he said it was fine. The thing is his birthday is also a few days aterwards if we do go out should we split the bill,let him pay or should i pay. Link to comment
melancholy123 Posted November 11, 2019 Share Posted November 11, 2019 I agree dont have sex with him. As for who pays, split the bill. Link to comment
Cherylyn Posted November 11, 2019 Share Posted November 11, 2019 I’ve already said i didnt want sex and he said it was fine. The thing is his birthday is also a few days aterwards if we do go out should we split the bill,let him pay or should i pay. I don't think it's a good idea to go out with him since you two broke up. However, if you really want to go out with him and still have feelings for him, then it sounds like you really want to be with him. Enforce healthy boundaries. Remain polite yet firm. Link to comment
MirrorKnight Posted November 11, 2019 Share Posted November 11, 2019 I honestly do not know why anyone is even entertaining the idea of OP should meet her ex. The conditions of the pseudo-date seems irrelevant to me. She is clearly not over him. He clearly does not respect her. His motives are crystal clear, her lack of boundaries is obvious. The result is going to be predictable. Even if he does not charm her panties off on this occasion, she is going to be asking "he did x, he did y, what does it mean? does he love me? should I give him another chance?" in a few days. Link to comment
MissCanuck Posted November 11, 2019 Share Posted November 11, 2019 I'm with you, MirrorKnight. I see this ending badly for you, OP. You are going to get your hopes up and he will more than likely dash them all over again. Personally, I would not go. But you will, because you desperately want him back. Just keep your friends and family close by for the inevitable next round of heartache. Link to comment
Clio Posted November 11, 2019 Share Posted November 11, 2019 OP, this is a guy who was selfish enough to try to have his cake and eat it too with you. He is someone who has demonstrated capability of putting his sexual urges above your emotional and mental well-being. Remember that. It is very unlikely that things will end up the way you wish. Ideally, you should realize this and walk away. If you need to give it one last shot, imo, that's ok but you need to have zero expectations going in. This guy sounds too young and too immature to do the right thing. It's on you to protect yourself. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted November 11, 2019 Share Posted November 11, 2019 You are not seeking advice and wish to continue your fwb situation and that's fine. https://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=561766&p=7163646#post7163646 I’m a 18F, my ex (19M) have been broken up for nearly 4 months after a 3 year relationship. Guess considering my indecisiveness its best to start a journal instead of asking for advice. Since our breakup, we have continued contact and had a fwb situation Link to comment
smackie9 Posted November 11, 2019 Share Posted November 11, 2019 You are a big girl, you will be able to figure things out on your own. Link to comment
abitbroken Posted November 12, 2019 Share Posted November 12, 2019 He wants birthday sex. He won't see you as anything else. So why not turn him down, stop contacting him like you should have done all along and when you are ready meet someone afresh and decide you won't be a sex toy - that you are going to date properly. Link to comment
No1 Posted November 16, 2019 Share Posted November 16, 2019 "Can I be your boyfriend?" was a line he used because he wanted to fish for information. How you reacted would of determined how he proceeded. Since you brushed it off, that gave him permission to continue to pursue you. Remember. Spoiled milk doesn't get better if you put it back in the fridge. You two broke up for a reason and you should just let him go because there is better out there for you. But since you like him you two will get back and he is going to lie to you to get you back. I know I would be telling you whatever you want to hear so I can get back with you. So remember to make him back up his words with actions. Link to comment
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