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No single friends to help me


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Hi everyone,

 

Long story short I ended my engagement not too long ago. I won’t go into the details of that, but as hard as it was I know I made the right decision.

 

Now onto my growth, I feel like I have my bases covered when it comes to doing things on my own. I read, I keep active at the gym, I’ve joined a dating app to get back out there into the world, but the only problem is none of my gfs are single. They are all either married/engaged/in serious relationships and it makes going out to meet guys impossible.

 

I see girls I know on Social media that are single and sometimes I wish I could reach out and ask if they want to do something but it’s people I’ve never hung out with and it would be completely random, like “hey I know you’re single too do you want to go out and meet guys together” lol no.

 

So basically, how do I approach entering the single life again when I have no gfs to be there for me.

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In August you were married and worried about your husband looking at attractive women. I guess I'm a little confused about the time line.

 

Regardless, I recommend you join volunteer or interest groups to meet people. I'm a member of a groups for people who are in middle age and single. They have a lot of activities. I don't go to a lot of them (many are cruises which I have no interest in, plus I get seasick!) but some are fun get togethers and activities. You'll meet lots of people that way. Not necessarily to date, but just to get out there and make friends.

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In August you were married and worried about your husband looking at attractive women. I guess I'm a little confused about the time line.

 

Regardless, I recommend you join volunteer or interest groups to meet people. I'm a member of a groups for people who are in middle age and single. They have a lot of activities. I don't go to a lot of them (many are cruises which I have no interest in, plus I get seasick!) but some are fun get togethers and activities. You'll meet lots of people that way. Not necessarily to date, but just to get out there and make friends.

 

We were only engaged. I didn’t want to say our full story in fear that he would somehow find my post...but yes only engaged and planning a wedding.

 

Also, thank you for the recommendation

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I went by myself to many singles events, events where I might meet people, parties, etc. including to singles resorts like Club Med -made it much easier to meet people because I couldn't rely on my friends and didn't risk my friends saying something foolish or inappropriate to someone I might like. I also agree with getting involved in volunteer work.

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I agree, take a breather after your engagement, no need to rush.

 

Making friends as an adult can be tricky. I find allowing it to happen naturally tends to work best for me, if you live in an apartment complex go to gatherings they may be offering or if you live in a neighborhood, see if they have neighborhood get together. Socialize with coworkers, join a meet up group.

 

FWIW, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with hitting up friends on social media. The worst they could say is no!

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Meetup groups helped me a lot to make friends when I moved to a new city a few years ago. They offer tons of interest groups and singles events. I’d recommend finding a group that interests you, such as hiking or cooking. Lots of people go alone and don’t know anyone, but a shared interest can help you to make new friends. In due time you could have a new group of single friends to go out with together, but I’d avoid at this point going straight into the dating scene. It seems a bit soon after your engagement and being alone for a while can be incredibly refreshing. After I got divorced I enjoyed the hell out of decorating my place the way I wanted, going to all sorts of events and meet up groups, developing new hobbies. Once you’re in a good place and comfortable on your own, you’re going to meet better potential partners. Good luck and have fun!

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Great ways I have met single friends were through either some local connect group that does stuff I'm interested in, volunteering, friends of friends or classes. Maybe your girlfriends can introduce you to their single friends?

 

Are you seeking a sort of 'wingwoman' (to meet guys) or actual friendships?

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Maybe I am rushing into the dating scene.

 

I wasn’t necessarily looking for a wingwoman but I wish I had single girlfriends to go out with so we’re on the same page when we’re out...but I think I will try finding some local volunteer groups or classes and expand my social circle. Thank you all for the suggestions!

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Take a break from the dating scene and when you reenter dating again, don't go out to singles bars, night clubs or with a group of women seeking men. That's pitiful and pathetic.

 

I agree with others regarding MeetUps, classes, groups, hobbies, sports, excursions, outings, intellectual pursuits with others, volunteerism, etc. If you're religious, join a church and join various ministry groups, singles groups, etc.

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Easy,.... those girls that are married probably wouldn't mind a night out to go dancing. They might be in serious relationships doesn't mean they're dead. I'm sure if you suggest a girl's night out, you will find a couple that wouldn't mind a night of fun to get out of the house. If you meet someone,.. great, if not at least you had a good time with friends.

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