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Thread: I am concerned about my ex boyfriend.

  1. #11
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by pippy longstocking
    oh blimey that is what I meant , thankyou x
    It works the other way, too. If she is his problem, then the kindest thing to do for the guy is to allow him to figure that out--on his own.

  2. #12
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    Originally Posted by catfeeder
    It works the other way, too. If she is his problem, then the kindest thing to do for the guy is to allow him to figure that out--on his own.
    Yep , true enough ...

  3. #13
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    He's an adult, he's made his bed and he can go lay in it. This should not concern you and all these people telling you this stuff should be told to stuff it. You need to move on and take care of yourself girl. You don't need this crap.

  4. #14
    Bronze Member TheRawTruth's Avatar
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    We often see changes in people we used to date that aren't so positive. We say "That's not who they are." But the truth is, it's just not who they WERE -- WITH US! People change. Granted, him breaking up with you a FEW HOURS after calling you the love of his life is a bit confusing, but maybe he knew that part of his life was over at that point, and it was time for a new chapter. You said yourself, he wasn't very confident before you. Now, he has a new view, a new confidence, and has seen a whole new world out there. And if he has another girl in his life, or other influences, you can't help him right now. When we try to tell people how to live, they tend to resent us. You can let a person know you're there if they need you, but it usually falls on deaf ears until that time actually comes. You may have to stay outta this one sis. Only step in if things get too bad to ignore. Now is not that time.

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member Clio's Avatar
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    He has broken up with you. You have no right to step in ever. You are not his mother. You need to stop finding out what he does.

    I realize that you are hurting over the break up but it's actually good that it happened. You need to step back from relationships and reflect. Playing mother to a boyfriend is not healthy. You need to find someone who won't need you to fix him in any way. With anything else, you enter unhealthy relationship territory.

  7. #16
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    Yes, ignore him. Do NOT contact him. He dumped and rejected you. Your ex is your ex and your former relationship with him has since dissolved for a reason. Get his message and move on with your life WITHOUT HIM. He's a big boy now, a grown man and his problems are NOT your responsibility. He needs to take care of himself. Don't be in hero mode because you can't fix nor rescue anyone's life. It is beyond your control. He needs to take care of himself.

    As for your ex's brother's girlfriend feeding you updates about your ex, she's stirring up trouble or stirring the pot. Don't trust her. She's not exercising discretion. Don't have anymore contact with her. Diplomatically tell her that you're ending contact with her. You can text it politely yet firmly.

    Stay strong and hang tough.

  8. #17
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    He is being who he wants to be. It's not your place to judge him, try to change him, fix him, etc. You are not his mother and he is not your child. Very important that you grasp this before you ever get into another relationship. Parent-child dynamics are toxic in the long run and regardless of what you do, people will still be themselves at the end of the day. Btw, compliments don't fix insecurities, only feed the ego. There is a big difference there. Let go, move on, get your own head sorted out because right now, your concept of what a healthy relationship is needs some serious calibrating, most importantly get rid of the flying monkeys feeding you info. It's just adding toxic drama to your life.

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