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Thread: *Boyfriend is slowly coming out as genderfluid?

  1. #21
    Platinum Member Clio's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by catfeeder
    If I want monogamy, then anyone who wants to explore sex with other people would be out for me. Gender doesn't need to enter the question--if a guy wants to get sexual with anyone who is not ME, then that's all I need to know in order to move on.

    So don't make this more complex than it needs to be: keep your focus on what YOU want, and don't pretzel yourself to placate anyone else's needs when they don't match your own.
    ^^^This all the way. Unapologetically.

    You have the right to exit a situation if it no longer feels emotionally safe to you, just as this person has the right to explore their identity.

  2. #22
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    Originally Posted by pippy longstocking
    I am going to need subtitles for this I'm afraid ..... I love and accept everyone into my world , but my world is now over 50 years old and I can no more get a grip on all this then I can an iphone ...
    I hear you!

  3. #23
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    You're 19. Do Not Go To Therapy together. This is his issue/journey, not yours. Do not make it your issue. You can not "convert him" through this. In fact conversion therapy as suggested below is illegal in many jurisdictions.
    Originally Posted by smackie9
    There's therapy for this. OP you and your partner go to a therapy session or two and work it out together. I think he's having an identity crisis not a sexual orientation issue.

  4. #24
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Billie28
    Can I respectfully ask , if you were in a serious relationship with another female, why did you not consider yourself to be lesbian? What do you identify as? Bi?
    Your ex obviously wanted to not be a gay female but a straight male?
    Is your husband ok with your friendship still?
    Just curious! Sorry!

    I was replying to rose but it didnít seem to work , sorry!
    Hi Billie. Him and I are no longer friends and stopped speaking since I met my husband. The last I heard he's doing very well after fully transitioning (took awhile). My ex identified most as transgendered but not transexual. Sexually I suppose in one relationship, I was with both a female and a male. The idea doesn't really bother me. When the relationship ended, he leaned more towards male than female. I'm not attracted to women exclusively and I don't think I'm bisexual as I've learned I can be attracted to individuals who are neither male/female or have elements of both. I'm 100% female though. I've always been a woman. I'd like to think I'm still learning. My husband knows about this about me. I don't think it bothers him as it's never come up later on. I'd like to think we accept each other as we are.

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  6. #25
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    Originally Posted by smackie9
    There's therapy for this. OP you and your partner go to a therapy session or two and work it out together.

    Just me but I think he's having an identity crisis not a sexual orientation issue. If he has a bad day or is depressed when he's Jason, he will flip to being Julie to as an escape...you know what I mean? Like a multi identity coping mechanism.
    There is nothing for the OP to work out. She either wants to date a guy who wants to swap what gender he feels like every day or she doesn't.

  7. #26
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    Originally Posted by anonymous909
    For him genderfluid means that some days he wants to be a woman and others he wants to be a guy. He doesn't really want to be fully out yet and I'm not sure he ever will. But yea I would say that's what I'm most confused about. I want to support him in every way that I can, but I am having doubts about our relationship I suppose.
    I honestly think he has some deep seated issues here or he is saying this as a gentle way to break up with you.

  8. #27
    Member BurtReynolds's Avatar
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    Its just a matter of time before he wants to act upon his new femininity and try out men. You have to ask yourself how are you going to fit into this new life of his.

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