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Thread: Legit or Ghosting?

  1. #1
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    Legit or Ghosting?

    So, Thursday, girl I am talking to wishes me good morning and whatnot, then after she gets off work sends this: “ Been a really rough day. I need to take some time to myself. I'll catch you up on it later, I just need some time alone right now. /: “

    I tell her I understand and will give her some space.

    She messages me Saturday,” Hey, I'm sorry I kind of went MIA. I really appreciate you giving me some space. I've just never felt so low the other day but I feel a little better now. I'll try to respond better later. Basically my boss told me they don't think they can keep working with me part time so I should look for a job better suited for my school schedule. They didn't quite fire me, they claim they're going to have me work when they need me but can't guarantee me hours. I think is their BS way of getting around them giving me unemployment. It's just been non-stop one thing after another. I have an interview Monday, but I need to keep looking around. It's just stress non-stop for me.”

    I told her I could come over and help if she wanted and that I am here if she needs anything and to message me when she feels better. That has been since sat, I think I am taking this too personally and that she just needs some space to find a new job and whatnot. She hadn’t indicated anything of being disinterested or not wanting to continue anything. Before all this she has Been talking constantly, she compliments me, is very long winded in conversation ect.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Are you dating? Ok she explained what's going on so let her come to you if you're still interested.
    Originally Posted by Mardoth20
    girl I am talking to

    It's just been non-stop one thing after another. I have an interview Monday, but I need to keep looking around. It's just stress non-stop for me.”
    She hadn’t indicated anything of being disinterested or not wanting to continue anything. Before all this she has Been talking constantly

  3. #3
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    We are dating as in hanging out and getting to know each other, but not like officially together dating. Yes, I am very interested, just a weird scenario to happen.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    So have you just gone stone silent since Saturday? She was pretty clear—and non-ghost-like—in explaining what was going on, the stress she's under. Why not ask her how she's doing?

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  6. #5
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    I messaged her telling her I can come over if she wanted help, that If she needs anything to ask, that I am glad she is feeling better and that I will continue to give her space until she communicates with me and is ready, wished her luck on finding something and that has been it since. Just trying to honor her request for space right now until she engages.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    What are you going to do if you go over? I hope you're not assuming a netflix and chill scenario (for stress relief etc). Or are you going over to look at her CV and practice interview scenarios? To me, it sounds one-sided offering to go over as it doesn't help her situation at all or the fact that she needs a new job and probably feels low about the work situation.

    If she wants your company she'll let you know anyway. If I were in her place, I'd really expect you to back off a little but it's up to her. See what she says. I wouldn't get your hopes up about "going over".

    I'd give her space if I were in your position and keep in touch with her. Be prepared that she may be feeling down and discouraged and it has nothing to do with you.

  8. #7
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    No no, I was asking to go over to help her search jobs to possibly cut the time down.

    I am just really honestly anxious because I have no idea what is going on since I haven’t heard anything since Saturday.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    It's not about you.

    Don't make the mistake of making her situation about you. She's not supposed to soothe YOUR anxiety when she has her own issues to deal with.

    If you want to be a true friend, soothe your own anxiety and let her tell you when she's ready to spend time with you again.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    Saturday was 72 hours ago?

  11. #10
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    Chilax. I would have not offered to job hunt for her. that's overstepping

    I would have just expressed sympathy "wow. Sorry to hear that, etc." or I would have said "if you want to talk about it sometime, I'm up for coffee." or "if you feel like you need a break from thinking the job hunt, that movie we both wanted to see is playing at that little cool theater for a few more weeks. Drop me a note when that sounds tempting". That way you invited but its in her court. She doesn't feel obligated to contact you unless she wants to see you. Maybe that sounds self centered but it gives you both a break from the need to keep texting eachother and she will ether circle back with you or not. And in the meantime meet others

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