Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12
Results 11 to 16 of 16

Thread: Recent Breakup

  1. #11
    Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2019
    Posts
    13
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by goddess
    A rant is good at times. Very cathartic. I feel for you, but don't get embroiled in a relationship or friendship with him. He needs up grow up and isn't ready for a relationship. He needs to "fix" himself first. As MissCanuck said, "I would stay broken up, and not attempt a friendship. You have seen over and over that he doesn't really care about your feelings and your boundaries; it's all about him and what he wants. You can't have a friendship like that. He will almost surely start pushing you to be more than friends again. It's just not a realistic prospect."
    I agree, he's definitely not ready for a relationship. Thanks for all your replies everyone!

  2. #12
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2019
    Location
    British Columbia, Canada
    Posts
    2,815
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by BabyVamp
    Yes, I am seeing a psychiatrist. They suggest exposure therapy which I'm working on slowly at my own pace. I've had some very bad panic attacks while being at restaurants in the past, and it's just something I've never been fond of to begin with so that's probably where my anxiety with that comes from.

    About him being irresponsible for not finding stable work, yeah.. I live somewhere where there is a ton of places to apply at but he was very selective. Wouldn't even look at a grocery store or anything like that because they didn't offer the hours he wanted. But then he complained when he found something that did have the late hours he wanted so I dunno. lol

    I know I can't fix him and I never tried to. I just wanted him to respect my boundaries but unfortunately that's not something he could do. I don't plan on getting back together with him. Thanks for the nice reply Rose!
    I don't blame you... I really don't like restaurants myself. I much prefer cooking at home and eating home cooked food. When it comes to fine dining it's very much a socialite thing - the thing to do to be seen at a certain place. I hope you feel better overall soon and the anxiety fades a little with time. There's no reason either to keep putting yourself in unpleasant situations.

    Anyway, you did a good thing for yourself. Keep your chin up and keep doing right by you. Your relationship with your mum sounds special. Enjoy that bond. She sounds wonderful and it sounds like she raised a very respectful and well-balanced individual. You know when something is wrong. Don't be afraid to be firm and keep moving forwards.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2019
    Posts
    1,368
    Good riddance! I'm glad you broke up with this obnoxious loser!

    You did the right thing. What a leech. He sounds mentally ill, extremely insecure and I'm sure you feel relieved.

    Many people break up whether it's relationships, friendships, family ties, etc. Many people love something about whom they broke up with. I know I do. Then you need to refresh your memory. You need to have an immediate flashback to what caused the break up such as personality and character clashes, incurable flaws and defects. Often times it's due to deceit, betrayal, manipulation, insecurity, major trust issues and on and on. You need to focus on the negative in order to get a reality check. I too admire many qualities about certain individuals in my life who are no more. However, it always reverts to negative characteristic traits which override any virtues there was in said person. You need to think of negatives in order to be realistic regarding why the relationship went awry in the first place. Then you'll become more sensible and logical as you realize that certain relationships were not meant to be and ended for a reason.

    Good times and commendable qualities in a person are something to remember. However, it's those bad times and repeated mistreatment which are too risky to repeat. This is why many relationships dissolve. No one in their right mind wishes to be on the receiving end of risky repeat offenses. Trust is dead and gone forever. For example, even if I were to rekindle my bad relationship with a certain person, there would be a permanent seed of distrust implanted within the deep recesses of my brain. You can't erase bad memories try as you may. Trusting a person after being badly burned is extremely difficult if not impossible to regain. I don't want to take anymore chances. People generally never forget painful relationships and prevent danger from reoccurring.

    I'm sorry you feel down. Remind yourself of everything you despised about him and then you'll feel strong, tough and resilient again. No sense making your life miserable from a man who habitually disrespects you while all he cares about is being self centered and selfish. He used you based upon his needs and benefits. I've known people like him. They're wolves in sheep's clothing, appear perfectly normal for all the world to see yet behind closed doors they have a Jekkyl and Hyde personality. These types of people are wicked scary. They're sociopaths and use people for their own personal gain. They manipulate relationships. They appear normal but they have a sneaky, sinister personality and scary character.

    Surround yourself with very moral people. Become very picky and choosy from now on. You'll thank yourself later after you make wise choices. Make sure your radar is up and become a good judge of character.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    35,708
    Gender
    Male
    Ok focus on all that. Hopefully you'll be able to work and be more independent. Until that time it may be ok to date but do not ask guys to live with you. Ask your doctor about career education opportunities, such as programs. What would you like to do? You can't expect your mother to support you forever, no less a bf.
    Originally Posted by BabyVamp
    I did worry about my mom. Me and my mother are very close though. We're very open with each other too. She was really supportive of our relationship, as long as I was happy. I definitely plan to focus on myself and my health now though. It was neglected while I was in the relationship. I do want to try to get a part time job somewhere close once I'm feeling better. Honestly, I'm not sure I'm cut out for relationships. I don't mind the idea of being on my own. Thanks for the reply!

  5.  

  6. #15
    Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2019
    Posts
    13
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by Cherylyn
    Remind yourself of everything you despised about him and then you'll feel strong, tough and resilient again.
    I've actually made a list in one of my journals about all the things I disliked about him lol. Whenever I start feeling sad or I start missing the relationship, I look at it. Helps!

    Thanks for the reply! I definitely agree with everything you said.

  7. #16
    Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2019
    Posts
    13
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Ok focus on all that. Hopefully you'll be able to work and be more independent. Until that time it may be ok to date but do not ask guys to live with you. Ask your doctor about career education opportunities, such as programs. What would you like to do? You can't expect your mother to support you forever, no less a bf.
    One thing I would really like to do actually is phlebotomy. I have a few other ideas but that one interests me the most! I would love to be able to support myself and get my own little apartment one day.

Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •