Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 14

Thread: I have a big, ridiculous crush on my female OB/Gyn.

  1. #1

    I have a big, ridiculous crush on my female OB/Gyn.

    I identify a a heterosexual woman. Iím very happily married to a man and we have an awesome partnership. The only relationships I have ever been in have been with men. I have never been attracted to another female before. Acknowledged that another female was beautiful and cool? Sure. But never had any sexual feelings toward a woman. Yet I cannot stop thinking about/feeling attracted to my female OB/GYN.

    Itís seriously like a switch flipped during this past year when I was under her care while I was pregnant. Sheís gorgeous. Sheís funny. We have similar interests and hobbies. Sheís got killer legs. Sheís an excellent physician. If I didnít feel this inexplicable sexual attraction to her, Iíd think I just really wanted to be her friend.

    Iím sure this is some weird, Freudian-esque/transference thing that I should unpack in a nice, long therapy session, but itís seriously making me a little crazy. I have sex dreams about her. I think about her daily. I had an appointment with her a couple of weeks ago and I was damn near giddy (to go to the GYNECOLOGIST. .) to be in the same room with her. Clearly I would never, ever act on this or even say it out loud (except on here), but I had to vent somewhere.

    Do I find a new doctor? How do I get over this idiotic crush?

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2019
    Location
    British Columbia, Canada
    Posts
    3,033
    Gender
    Female
    What's your relationship with your husband like? Do you have what you might call a happy marriage? I'm asking for more details on your marriage even though you've said you're happily married. Are either of you as close during your pregnancy or is he more standoffish with sex etc?

    Keep reminding yourself that you are married. If you feel yourself unable to put things in perspective or find your relationship with your husband is affected by your feelings for someone else, it's a good idea to find another doctor. Usually when people stray in marriages or relationships it's because there's something or quite a whole lot missing in their lives. If you feel like you'd leave your marriage over it, you're likely not has happy as you think you are in your marriage.

    Sexuality or gender doesn't matter much although it might shock you if this type of thing has never happened to you before. It's natural to feel attracted to people in general who may possess qualities that either you wish you have or you wish your husband had. Your doctor may be a reflection of all the qualities you find important in a woman and you may respect her a great deal. There's nothing wrong with appreciation and respect for others. You should be able to tell the difference between appreciation/respect or something else and whether the root of all this is deep-seated unrest or unhappiness with your marriage (you may be in denial).
    Last edited by Rose Mosse; 11-10-2019 at 04:10 AM.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Posts
    1,674
    What is your sex life like with your husband?
    Is it a lights off kinda thing?
    Perhaps itís the comfortable feeling of getting naked in front of another baring all , lights on , close up examination and no judgment that you like??

    Geez Iíve had Brazilian waxes from ladies who then close up tweeze out anything they might have missed while on all fours but not been that comfortable with a partner. Lol

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    36,653
    Gender
    Male
    That may be the best thing to do for now.
    Originally Posted by AwkwardCrush
    Do I find a new doctor?

  5.  

  6. #5
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    51,114
    I would find a new doctor and after that explore whether you two can be friends. And work on your marriage.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2017
    Posts
    4,675
    It may be for the best to find another Dr.

    If youíre able to keep this crush as just that, a crush then you should be fine, but if you find yourself considering crossing some boundaries then yes, time for a new Dr.

    FWIW, I get girl crushes, although not necessarily sexual, even if I recognize they are sexy, itís more of an admiration, Iíve never had one go further than a crush but I do in a way understand.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    36,653
    Gender
    Male
    If you want to go to therapy, that's fine. However this would make a great script for a reality show episode.
    Originally Posted by AwkwardCrush
    I identify a a heterosexual woman. Iím very happily married to a man and we have an awesome partnership. The only relationships I have ever been in have been with men. I have never been attracted to another female before. Acknowledged that another female was beautiful and cool? Sure. But never had any sexual feelings toward a woman. Yet I cannot stop thinking about/feeling attracted to my female OB/GYN.

    Itís seriously like a switch flipped during this past year when I was under her care while I was pregnant. Sheís gorgeous. Sheís funny. We have similar interests and hobbies. Sheís got killer legs. Sheís an excellent physician. If I didnít feel this inexplicable sexual attraction to her, Iíd think I just really wanted to be her friend.

    Iím sure this is some weird, Freudian-esque/transference thing that I should unpack in a nice, long therapy session, but itís seriously making me a little crazy. I have sex dreams about her. I think about her daily. I had an appointment with her a couple of weeks ago and I was damn near giddy (to go to the GYNECOLOGIST. .) to be in the same room with her. Clearly I would never, ever act on this or even say it out loud (except on here), but I had to vent somewhere.

    Do I find a new doctor? How do I get over this idiotic crush?

  9. #8
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Location
    central Florida
    Posts
    3,849
    Gender
    Female
    Since you're thinking of your crush daily, yes, that doesn't usually happen to a person who has a strong emotional connection with their spouse. Even though you two might get along fine, this is a warning sign that your marriage needs some extra effort to reignite a spark.

    First, find a new gynecologist, just as if you were having an emotional affair with a co-worker, that interaction needs to end.

    And then pour your energy into doing things that will have you fantasizing about your husband. Go to a couples store together and pick out new stuff to use in the bedroom. While he's at work, text him what he can expect for that evening's adventure. Get a babysitter at least once a month for a date day or night. Take turns planning outings that aren't the usual mundane things. Be creative. When he sees you putting in the effort, he will likely respond with his own efforts. Good luck and let us know how it goes.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    New Jersey
    Posts
    22,521
    Gender
    Female
    For the sake of continuity of really good care, I wouldn't ditch my doctor just because I've formed a celebrity crush on her.

    You're aware of transference, so why not find a really hot woman therapist so you can transfer the crush onto her? She'll help you work it through while putting your focus back onto your marriage and identifying what's lacking there.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    51,114
    Originally Posted by catfeeder
    For the sake of continuity of really good care, I wouldn't ditch my doctor just because I've formed a celebrity crush on her.

    You're aware of transference, so why not find a really hot woman therapist so you can transfer the crush onto her? She'll help you work it through while putting your focus back onto your marriage and identifying what's lacking there.
    Yes, I wanted to revise what i wrote that certainly don't switch during your pregnancy.

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •