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I Was In Love With A Camgirl


AspieInLuv

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If this is in the wrong thread, please go ahead & move this to the correct one.

 

I was thinking about this camgirl who just turned 30 exactly two weeks ago. I first met her 7 years ago. She was very pretty & very friendly. I chatted with her for a year. All of a sudden, I got into an argument with her & I left her. One year later, I returned to her chatroom. I apologized to her about what happened a year ago. It was then that I told her about my true feelings for her. I told her that I really loved her & I wanted to lose my virginity to her. It was great seeing her & talking to her again, but a few months after that, she told me that she preferred her job over me. I got mad & I told her that she just loved me for my money. She then got mad at me for saying that. I ended up leaving her chatroom & I haven't been back since. Four years later, I still keep thinking about her. I just can't get her off of my mind after all these years. I would like to talk to her one more time so that I can get some closure, but I don't want to pay money to talk to her. I know people are going to say that she's a sex worker, but I don't see her as a sex worker. I see her as a human being. I don't know what to do.

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Even if you talked to her again, it is very unlikely that it would give you closure. Closure comes from within. She has already told you that her job is her real priority, not you i.e. she gave you the information you need to achieve closure but your mind refuses to accept it and let go. Your mind is addicted to talking to her and talking to her will most likely further fuel that addiction further, not provide you with closure. Imo, your money would be better spend on seeking professional counseling in order to understand better what within your mind keeps you mentally stuck on this woman and achieve closure within you by accepting what happened and let go. Good luck.

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Do you mean cam girl in the sense that you paid her money to do sexual things on web cam? This is just a fantasy because, as she told you, this is just a job for her. She is a sex worker of sorts and her job requires her to act really friendly and give customers attention. I'm sure she was camming for many other people too, you were not special. You were her customer and she made money from you. You need to understand that she's not actually into you but only acted into you to make money. It's as simple as that.

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Go outside and meet women in the real world. Snap out of your fantasy with a cyber sex worker. That is all she is.

 

Yes she is also a human being, but for her, you were just a job. She did just want you for your money. For all you know, she is doing it to earn money to support her kids, or to fund a cocaine habit. She sells a fantasy. It is not real.

 

Sorry it hurts, but that is the cold hard truth.

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It's a fantasy, OP. She isn't the love of your life, nor is she likely thinking about you after 4 years of no interaction.

 

I am gathering from your user name that you are on the spectrum. Without meaning to sound to insensitive or make generalizations, do you struggle with socialization in your day-to-day life? Do you talk to women offline too?

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Yes she is a human being. And you see that. Others see that too. But they don’t fall in love with her because they are very aware she is doing a job only. They love all the things she told them that she told you too. Again that’s part of the job.

 

Also what’s part of her job is to make you and thousands others feel special and yes that is to keep the money rolling in.

Of course if it wasn’t about the money for her and she felt anything for you she would give you her private number and do what she does for you for free. But she didn’t offer that did she!!??

 

I hope that gives you the closure you are seeking.

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Unfortunately you were being scammed. Date real life girls.

I was thinking about this camgirl. she told me that she preferred her job over me. I got mad & I told her that she just loved me for my money. Four years later, I still keep thinking about her. I don't want to pay money to talk to her.

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I'm guessing you have aspergers (Aspie). Slow down and take a step back. This person doesn't want to date you. It's not the end of the world but it does mean you should take a good hard look at your choices and change things around. This person isn't what you want her to be. She's not someone special to you. She's just doing her job. You've mixed the two and become confused with the type of meaning she has in your life. Don't carry on with the misunderstanding as you're misleading yourself.

 

Go on and meet new people and don't hold back regardless of your background or whatever you feel may be holding you back from meeting real people in real life. You don't have to put yourself in risky or uncomfortable situations. Just be more realistic with yourself and go out and meet others in your community. If you're having trouble finding people to connect with, touch base with your local community center and look at some cheap classes (most are drop in) or ask whether there are gatherings for different events and festivals.

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