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Thread: No single friends to help me

  1. #1
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    No single friends to help me

    Hi everyone,

    Long story short I ended my engagement not too long ago. I wonít go into the details of that, but as hard as it was I know I made the right decision.

    Now onto my growth, I feel like I have my bases covered when it comes to doing things on my own. I read, I keep active at the gym, Iíve joined a dating app to get back out there into the world, but the only problem is none of my gfs are single. They are all either married/engaged/in serious relationships and it makes going out to meet guys impossible.

    I see girls I know on Social media that are single and sometimes I wish I could reach out and ask if they want to do something but itís people Iíve never hung out with and it would be completely random, like ďhey I know youíre single too do you want to go out and meet guys togetherĒ lol no.

    So basically, how do I approach entering the single life again when I have no gfs to be there for me.

  2. #2
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    In August you were married and worried about your husband looking at attractive women. I guess I'm a little confused about the time line.

    Regardless, I recommend you join volunteer or interest groups to meet people. I'm a member of a groups for people who are in middle age and single. They have a lot of activities. I don't go to a lot of them (many are cruises which I have no interest in, plus I get seasick!) but some are fun get togethers and activities. You'll meet lots of people that way. Not necessarily to date, but just to get out there and make friends.

  3. #3
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    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    In August you were married and worried about your husband looking at attractive women. I guess I'm a little confused about the time line.

    Regardless, I recommend you join volunteer or interest groups to meet people. I'm a member of a groups for people who are in middle age and single. They have a lot of activities. I don't go to a lot of them (many are cruises which I have no interest in, plus I get seasick!) but some are fun get togethers and activities. You'll meet lots of people that way. Not necessarily to date, but just to get out there and make friends.
    We were only engaged. I didnít want to say our full story in fear that he would somehow find my post...but yes only engaged and planning a wedding.

    Also, thank you for the recommendation

  4. #4
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    I went by myself to many singles events, events where I might meet people, parties, etc. including to singles resorts like Club Med -made it much easier to meet people because I couldn't rely on my friends and didn't risk my friends saying something foolish or inappropriate to someone I might like. I also agree with getting involved in volunteer work.

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  6. #5
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    You should not be dating, it is way too early after the engagement. Why dont you take a year off of men to get to a healthy place.

    Why not focus on expanding your friend circle. Volunteer, Meetups, classes, groups that support your interests.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
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    I agree, take a breather after your engagement, no need to rush.

    Making friends as an adult can be tricky. I find allowing it to happen naturally tends to work best for me, if you live in an apartment complex go to gatherings they may be offering or if you live in a neighborhood, see if they have neighborhood get together. Socialize with coworkers, join a meet up group.

    FWIW, I donít think thereís anything wrong with hitting up friends on social media. The worst they could say is no!

  8. #7
    Silver Member BecxyRex's Avatar
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    Meetup groups helped me a lot to make friends when I moved to a new city a few years ago. They offer tons of interest groups and singles events. Iíd recommend finding a group that interests you, such as hiking or cooking. Lots of people go alone and donít know anyone, but a shared interest can help you to make new friends. In due time you could have a new group of single friends to go out with together, but Iíd avoid at this point going straight into the dating scene. It seems a bit soon after your engagement and being alone for a while can be incredibly refreshing. After I got divorced I enjoyed the hell out of decorating my place the way I wanted, going to all sorts of events and meet up groups, developing new hobbies. Once youíre in a good place and comfortable on your own, youíre going to meet better potential partners. Good luck and have fun!

  9. #8
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    Great ways I have met single friends were through either some local connect group that does stuff I'm interested in, volunteering, friends of friends or classes. Maybe your girlfriends can introduce you to their single friends?

    Are you seeking a sort of 'wingwoman' (to meet guys) or actual friendships?

  10. #9
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    Maybe I am rushing into the dating scene.

    I wasnít necessarily looking for a wingwoman but I wish I had single girlfriends to go out with so weíre on the same page when weíre out...but I think I will try finding some local volunteer groups or classes and expand my social circle. Thank you all for the suggestions!

  11. #10
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    Take a break from the dating scene and when you reenter dating again, don't go out to singles bars, night clubs or with a group of women seeking men. That's pitiful and pathetic.

    I agree with others regarding MeetUps, classes, groups, hobbies, sports, excursions, outings, intellectual pursuits with others, volunteerism, etc. If you're religious, join a church and join various ministry groups, singles groups, etc.

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