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Thread: Is my ex blowing me off? Or does she actually want to hear back from me?

  1. #1
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    Is my ex blowing me off? Or does she actually want to hear back from me?

    I got out of a serious relationship with my ex last year. It didn't end too well as she left to be with someone else. After over a year, I've made my peace with what happened for the most part and no longer hold any ill will towards her. She also recently broke up with said boyfriend. Because she was very important to me at one point I decided to try and reach out to her and bury the hatchet. (Unnecessary probably I know, but it felt like the right thing to do). I then waited an appropriate amount of time so it didn't look like I was just messaging her because she was single again.

    She responded within the same day and we had some back and forth small talk but her answers while friendly, were also very bland and curt. It felt pretty clear that she didn't feel anything in particular to me anymore and was just trying to be polite.

    At the end of our conversation I asked "It was nice catching up with you, albeit briefly. Maybe we can do it again some time. Would that be okay with you?" and she responded with

    "I wouldn't mind, but maybe not for a little while? I'm pretty busy for the rest of the semester but maybe we can chat over the holidays?"

    Can someone interpret what this means? To me it seems like she's blowing me off or didn't know how to tell me no. Because no one is that busy to just small talk in the span of two months. If that's the case, then I'll accept that my message probably wasn't appreciated and drop it. But I just wanted to make sure that there wasn't an alternate explanation, like she wants more time to process her breakup before talking to me again.

    Thanks in advance for any advice!

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear this. Ok leave her be. Let her contact you over the Holidays. Stop waiting in the wings. Get on with your life and date other girls. She spelled it out rather clearly with this remark:
    Originally Posted by Manonajourney
    I'm pretty busy for the rest of the semester but maybe we can chat over the holidays?"

  3. #3
    Gold Member SarahLancaster's Avatar
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    You're right. No one is that busy to just make small talk. My interpretation is that she probably doesn't want to hear back from you. The "I wouldn't mind but maybe not for a little while" means "I'm being polite. Leave me alone."

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    You're a bit sensitive to her response so I'm more prone to thinking that you're really not over her and miss her company a lot. That itself is not very appropriate considering that she's your ex. There's nothing platonic about your intentions and I think you'd be lying to yourself by telling yourself that you just want to be friendly.

    My advice would be to cool it and let her be. Leave her alone and move on. You're taking two steps backwards for that one step you took forwards trying to heal from the break up. You are not over her. Let her go.

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  6. #5
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    You wrote this in June:
    "Wanted to thank everyone for taking the time and effort to provide me with advice about my predicament. As I mentioned, I will not be contacting my ex and trying to "bury the hatchet"."

    Did you change your mind because you "heard" she and her boyfriend broke up?

  7. #6
    Bronze Member Skeptic76's Avatar
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    Itís cool man, you gave it a shot and thereís nothing wrong with that. Even if you changed your mind from something you said months ago - itís ok to change your mind.

    The writing is on the wall though - she is not interested in hearing from you.

  8. #7
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    Dude, she dumped you for another guy and you still want her back? Where is your self worth!?

  9. #8
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    You're still pining for a woman longer than you actually dated.

    Don't you think that it is time to move on.

  10. #9
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    You gotta be really lacking in self worth if you would message and want someone that LEFT you for SOMEONE else.

    Move forward, she's not interested. And even if she were (which she isn't!) I would never contact someone that dropped me for another person.

  11. #10
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    She is not into it, OP.

    She doesn't want to be rude and totally ignore you, and she doesn't have the courage to come out and say no, but her response to you strongly suggests that you take hint and go on your way.

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