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Thread: How to get over the fear

  1. #11
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    Originally Posted by SElliottx
    We have been together nearly 10 years. Married for 3. We have 2 children and 1 on the way.
    He hasnít done any classes or anything. He has just tried changing on his own.
    I think he's going to need some professional resources as well. Especially since you have young children. Change on his own -how specifically? I wanted to change and came up with very specific ways that I practice daily - but I didn't have to change as drastically. I also do some reading on the subject and talk to people although not professionals at this point. From what you describe he probably needs professional resources too -is he willing to do that to save the marriage? Yes, he can change on his own - meaning start the process - there are many ways to practice calming down, to practice how you interact with each other and others too. There also might be medical/physical reasons - sleep deprivation, dietary deficiencies, chronic pain, etc. But it's not just "I promise to change" -he needs a concrete plan, a plan he follows, a plan he practices.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Do not wait for him to change. Do not try to fix him. Go to therapy yourself privately and get help to decide what to do. Do not keep exposing your kids to frightening tempers and in-home violent words. Consider staying with friends/family until you can make better choices.. At the very least get your innocent kids out of the way of his temper and let them stay with your family. Tell your obstetrician what is happening. They will point you in the right direction.
    Originally Posted by SElliottx
    We have been together nearly 10 years. Married for 3. We have 2 children and 1 on the way.
    He hasnít done any classes or anything. He has just tried changing on his own.

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