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Thread: Am I just a placeholder?

  1. #11
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    That scar from your previous experiences will always be there. That's what scars are. Over time they do heal and eventually smooth out but the memory will be there. It's on you to change your life around and start re-evaluating your choice in partners. Matt seems to still be in love with his ex unfortunately. Be realistic about this. You can either continue dating a man who still has feelings for his ex or you can move on and meet new people who are more available overall. Don't exist in cyclical or self-fulling situations. Get out, learn, move on, move on from those bad habits and confusing situations.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Agree. But you now know what you know and should run far away knowing he is holding a torch and unfortunately, you are a placeholder in that sense.
    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    I think the real reason isn't that you think it's "trivial" (because you obviously don't ) but because you don't want to confess you snooped his messages and interrogated his friend about him and his ex.You're obviously insecure about Matt and it's making you stressed and anxious. Dating someone shouldn't make you feel stressed, anxious or insecure.

  3. #13
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    He's emotionally unavailable and is attached to her.
    You're just there to keep him from loneliness :l. What a waste of your time.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member Lambert's Avatar
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    honestly... my advice and it's gonna suck, but I'd break it off.

    I really feel the "pining for the ex" situation cannot be fixed while you two are still together. You have to let him go to heal over this woman. she obviously doesn't want him back but he's not a good catch right now in his current state.

    But just cuz she doesn't want him back probably makes him want her more. And based on just human nature, that makes her that much more attractive.

    But that is his cross to bear and something he has to work out for himself. It sucks for sure but you deserve so much more than he can give at this time....

    If you end things with him now maybe in time you'll Circle back around. Or maybe you'll meet someone better.

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Speaking only for myself, my private rule is that I won't involve myself with anyone who is still involved with an ex, in any way, shape or form, beyond shared children. You're learning why.

    I'd liberate myself from this situation and trust that when the right guy for me meets ME, he'll be all in, and I'll know it. Anything less than that is just a placeholder for me, and what do I really want with that?

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