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Thread: I hate my sister, but I don't want to.

  1. #11
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    yea i've told her she should reach out for help several times so idk what to do about it. i can't force someone to get help who doesn't want it, but it's like it doesn't click with her that if she continues with her behavior like that people aren't going to want to be around her and she'll never grow as a person or be satisfied.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    When you step away from the power struggle and stop trying to change her, you'll feel better. You can't fix or change anyone but yourself. You don't have to hang out or be best friends, so obsessing over her is wasted energy. Does she resent and pick you apart? Supportive therapy with a qualified psychologist would help you unpack and sort all this out..
    Originally Posted by bobbins
    i just want her to acknowledge her wrongdoings and deal with her emotions in a more mature way. in my opinion she would be a much better and happier person if she made those positive changes in her life.

  3. #13
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    When you step away from the power struggle and stop trying to change her, you'll feel better. You can't fix or change anyone but yourself. You don't have to hang out or be best friends, so obsessing over her is wasted energy. Does she resent and pick you apart? Supportive therapy with a qualified psychologist would help you unpack and sort all this out..
    i am currently seeking the help a psychologist so hopefully i can process these negative thoughts in a healthy way and move on. i plan on moving very far away next year so i can start fresh with my life on my own.

    and i've been doing research about what i've been dealing with and it lead me to thinking she has either a narcissistic personality disorder or narcissistic habits. it would explain her passive aggressive behavior, victim mentality, denial of criticism, and refusal to find solutions to her problems.

  4. #14
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    Originally Posted by bobbins
    i am currently seeking the help a psychologist so hopefully i can process these negative thoughts in a healthy way and move on. i plan on moving very far away next year so i can start fresh with my life on my own.

    and i've been doing research about what i've been dealing with and it lead me to thinking she has either a narcissistic personality disorder or narcissistic habits. it would explain her passive aggressive behavior, victim mentality, denial of criticism, and refusal to find solutions to her problems.
    Stop right there. do NOT diagnose your sister. Therapy is about YOU, and how you are going to navigate the situation. it serves no one to use it to play the blame game by "diagnosing" someone. BTW< she could have a view of you where she perceives something to be amiss with you as well as responsible for the communication breakdown.

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  6. #15
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    Originally Posted by abitbroken
    Stop right there. do NOT diagnose your sister. Therapy is about YOU, and how you are going to navigate the situation. it serves no one to use it to play the blame game by "diagnosing" someone. BTW< she could have a view of you where she perceives something to be amiss with you as well as responsible for the communication breakdown.
    i understand. i guess i was trying to make sense of everything. i know i haven't been perfect in this whole thing either.

  7. #16
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Try to look into what you have. Ask your doctor. That's all you can do. Stop the finger pointing, jealousy and hating. That's a place to start, not googling what you want to assign to her to make your intense sibling rivalry seem more normal.
    Originally Posted by bobbins
    and i've been doing research about what i've been dealing with and it lead me to thinking she has either a narcissistic personality disorder or narcissistic habits.

  8. #17
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    Originally Posted by bobbins
    i understand. i guess i was trying to make sense of everything. i know i haven't been perfect in this whole thing either.
    Not everything has to make sense. Your sister does not have to be your best friend in the world. As we grow up, we learn to remove our expectations from people and not expect them to fill a preset role or to be who they were when they were 5. You can love a relative without them being your best friend. Your relationship will change throughout your lives

  9. #18
    Platinum Member maew's Avatar
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    If you want to be able to live without resentment and anger towards others, you need to start by taking personal responsibility. Learn what your triggers are so you can stop reacting to what she is doing and saying, and start acknowledging the healing that you need to do. Learn to remove yourself from the situation when things start to escalate. Learn to practice some empathy and compassion for her... It would be a pretty miserable existence for her to always feel as though she isn't measuring up to whatever impossible standards she has set for herself.

    It takes two to have conflict.... if you choose to stop and find healthier ways of responding to the situation, the conflict can't happen.

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