Originally Posted by Dimmer
No, we weren't married, engaged, or living together. But being in a relationship and being partners, and part of each other's lives also makes the kids part of that relationship too. Yes, primary parenting is done by their blood parents. So if the primary parent isn't around, the kids are allowed to do whatever they want because of "boundaries"??? I think not. And if as adults and parents, a couple (married, engaged, living together, living separately, whatever) have a discussion about how to handle a situation with a child, it is no different than any other parent talking to another parent for advice or even a sounding board as how to handle the situation. And in 8.5 years, there's no "march into someone's life and start telling them they need therapy and how to raise their kids". I would never tell another parent how to parent, I will discuss parenting and child situations with other parents and offer my thoughts and opinions. Just as the woman I have/had been with for 8.5 years did with me about my own child. I don't expect to fix or change people, a relationship whether it be romantic, platonic, family, etc should bring out the best in a person, not the worst. And yes, I would hope if you saw a friend or loved one struggling in life, being depressed, possibly even suicidal, that you would support and encourage professional help for them. There's a difference between saying "you need to get mental help" and "I hate seeing what this is doing to you and think you should talk with someone about it".
YES boundaries are for you to set at your own home, but not at hers.