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Thread: Does he really care about me when he never asks me back?

  1. #11
    Platinum Member j.man's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Malvinka
    The topics of my questions are various and interesting
    what is your favorite movie, what is your favorite food, how do you see your future
    Those are not interesting questions. Especially if you're asking such bland questions through a bland medium like texting.

    In any case, you should get to know each other during actual dates. If you want to share menial details about yourself, then do so. You don't have to ask him about his favorite movie to have the excuse to talk about yours. You just need the communication and social skills to frame a conversation to organically include it. But peppering someone with questions you'd find on a dime-a-dozen dating survey is about the furthest thing from "interesting." And if you find you're not having a fulfilling experience without having to ask these questions, it's a pretty solid indicator you two aren't a great match. It's not meant to feel like an interview.

  2. #12
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    Originally Posted by j.man
    Those are not interesting questions. Especially if you're asking such bland questions through a bland medium like texting.

    In any case, you should get to know each other during actual dates. If you want to share menial details about yourself, then do so. You don't have to ask him about his favorite movie to have the excuse to talk about yours. You just need the communication and social skills to frame a conversation to organically include it. But peppering someone with questions you'd find on a dime-a-dozen dating survey is about the furthest thing from "interesting." And if you find you're not having a fulfilling experience without having to ask these questions, it's a pretty solid indicator you two aren't a great match. It's not meant to feel like an interview.
    I agree with this. I've slowly become more friendly with a female coworker - who works in a different department. We have lunch about every 8 weeks for the last 2-3 years. A few months ago she happened to mention a book she was reading that I'd read and mentioned that she recently joined a book club in her community. I really had no idea she liked to read (I love it) and it was a happy coincidence that we'd read the same book. So, since then we talk about books, recommend books to each other, plan on discussing a book she recommended to me and I read, next week. That's in my opinion the best way these kinds of topics come up and then evolve. I also wanted to add that I text quite a bit with certain friends. Not with her - first of all I avoid personal stuff on work email, and second we're just not texting buddies (and also in our 50s so we didn't grow up with texting) -and it makes our in person conversations much more interesting!

  3. #13
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    OP, where are you? I am curious how often you see him?

  4. #14
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    It depends. How long have you been dating him? If you're early into the relationship, cut him some slack and give him time.

    If you've been dating a while and exclusively serious, then it stands to reason to get some straight answers out of him and he should be genuinely curious about your life, values, beliefs, mutual and non-mutual desires.

    If he's unclear, evasive, dodges your questions, never inquisitive, never expresses interest in you nor have anything in common such as life goals in a relationship or commitment, you're just his passing fancy. Eventually, you will determine if he's a waste of your time, energy and resources.

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  6. #15
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    If he doesn’t ask questions about you, just start talking about yourself, your day, etc and Dee what happens.

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