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Thread: The most unprofessional thing I have done

  1. #21
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    Originally Posted by Batya33
    Sure, if she'd told her mother and for some crazy reason the mom told one other person who knew the bride, ok - it's innocent - but she knew that this was her boss's wife's business -her livelihood -maybe the wife shouldn't be sharing stories but as she wrote all of them are so so close. And with that comes the responsibility of discretion.
    The responsibility of discretion started with the bosses wife.
    She told her husband.
    Her husband told the OP and possibly others.

    Yes perhaps as another said , share ones own story and not that of anotherís.
    It wasnít her story to tell but the gossip was spread before it got to her.

    She has taken the post down.
    That should be the end of it.

    The boss can apologise to his wife. And the wife can apologise to her client.

  2. #22
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Go into work Monday. Apologize in person in private for any misunderstanding or inconvenience that resulted, then leave it alone. Keep in it simple and focus on their upset, not your innocence. No sappy emails for the boss to "forward to his wife". He can talk to her in person.

    It doesn't matter what you can/can't do legally technically online. What matters is being sensitive to their upset and most of all keeping your job. It's not "illegal" or intentional to step on someone's foot but normal people apologize for that. Too many people these days lack basic manners and doubling down on this is not a good idea.
    Originally Posted by viv19
    A couple of hours later I have about a hundred missed calls from my boss telling me both his wife and the bride are in that group and that his wife was very upset and to please take the post down. I did. I don't have either my boss or his wife on facebook and I don't even know the people in the story so the thought of any of them seeing that never even crossed my mind.

  3. #23
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    Originally Posted by Billie28
    The responsibility of discretion started with the bosses wife.
    She told her husband.
    Her husband told the OP and possibly others.

    Yes perhaps as another said , share ones own story and not that of anotherís.
    It wasnít her story to tell but the gossip was spread before it got to her.

    She has taken the post down.
    That should be the end of it.

    The boss can apologise to his wife. And the wife can apologise to her client.
    Sure- the wife shouldn't have gossiped. Of course not. Nothing to do with the OP deciding to share it on social media in the way she did -a bride's group! Taking the post down does some damage control but not nearly enough. I agree with Wiseman and the others. We can agree to disagree.

  4. #24
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    Originally Posted by Billie28
    The responsibility of discretion started with the bosses wife.
    She told her husband.
    Her husband told the OP and possibly others.

    Yes perhaps as another said , share ones own story and not that of anotherís.
    It wasnít her story to tell but the gossip was spread before it got to her.

    She has taken the post down.
    That should be the end of it.

    The boss can apologise to his wife. And the wife can apologise to her client.


    It is *not* the wife's fault.
    She is allowed to confide in her husband about her day - sucky things that happened.

    The boss is the one who gossipped, not the wife.

    But as far as the op, not all stories are ours to tell.
    Its not my story to write a facebook post about a relative's struggle with something. Its not my story to tell.
    If you had been a guest at this wedding, that would have been another story.

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  6. #25
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    Originally Posted by abitbroken
    It is *not* the wife's fault.
    She is allowed to confide in her husband about her day - sucky things that happened.
    She can of course do whatever she wants!!
    Doesnít mean itís the right thing to do!
    And she of course has the right to request that her husband does not tell anyone else which might jeopardise her job!
    Not because she will get fired since there seems to be no confidentiality agreement but because no client will hire her.

    That absolutely is her own doing!!

  7. #26
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    Originally Posted by Batya33
    Sure- the wife shouldn't have gossiped. Of course not. Nothing to do with the OP deciding to share it on social media in the way she did -a bride's group! Taking the post down does some damage control but not nearly enough. I agree with Wiseman and the others. We can agree to disagree.
    Iím ok if you disagree with me. But who cares where she shared it! It was third hand gossip. And she only heard that gossip because a bridal planner shared clients details.

  8. #27
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    [QUOTE=Wiseman2;7177051]

    It doesn't matter what you can/can't do legally technically online. What matters is being sensitive to their upset and most of all keeping your job. It's not "illegal" or intentional to step on someone's foot but normal people apologize for that. Too many people these days lack basic manners and doubling down on this is not a good idea.[/

    You are absolutely correct and clearly understand what I mentioned about legal confidentiality.
    In this case she wasnít bound to any legality.

    But this bit I donít understand ďmost of all keeping your jobĒ She canít get fired for what she did. She is not bound legally to not relate a story she heard from someone at work who heard from someone else that is not work related.

    My points being to help the op to relax , she has done nothing wrong wrt to her work , her boss likely feels so much worse and perhaps a little lesson about being sensitive to gossip she heard and the people involved.

  9. #28
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    It depends what her employment situation is - where I live it's "at will" so you can get fired for any reason at all other than based on your race, etc (not sure of the legal exceptions) -so where I have worked if someone did this kind of indiscretion yes the person could be let go because then the boss could feel that he couldn't trust the person to be appropriate on social media in other ways that could reflect negatively on his/her business for example or discreet in general. And that boss would be perfectly entitled to do so. Also she'd like a good reference when she moves on, and it's a small world as far as running into a potential employer who knows the wife and then the former one won't give her a decent reference. All sorts of repercussions -nothing to do with "legal". If she has an employment contract then possibly it's a different situation.

    I do think she did something wrong at work -she described them all as a family -another layer above just being coworkers so she personally betrayed her boss's wife -and she's supposed to be really close with her boss and coworkers -her technical work skills might be awesome but this is the kind of thing that can override it. I think she feels badly and I don't think she'll make this mistake again and hopefully he can see past this.

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