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Difficult relation


Fred665

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Folks I invited my colleague (she's a girl) on fb to friends. She didn't tell me her surname (I knew it, but I'm not sure she knows about it). I texted to her: "Hi, what's your name on fb". She replied "same as in reality". Subsequently, I send her an invitation on fb yesterday.Till today she didn't accept it. What have I done wrong? Last day at work I get an offence, when she met a new friend on language classes. I asked her about it, but he ridicule me. She was nice to me, but I'm afraid she's going to override me. Previously she told me that she likes me and she is busy but she intends to meet me later. I'm staring to fb expecting her acceptance right now.

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If you have her phone number why bother with fb? Just ask her out. It's redundant to invite people on fb when you can easily talk face-to-face at work and you have her number. Leave it alone. Start by getting to know her in person better. Many people do not want strangers or coworkers to have access to their fb. People who don't know you well may not want you creeping thier social media.

I texted to her: "Hi, what's your name on fb". She replied "same as in reality". Subsequently, I send her an invitation on fb yesterday.
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Not everyone is willing to be your social media or FB friend especially colleagues! My husband and I deliberately do NOT have colleagues as our social media or FB friends because we all value our privacy and space. We know how to enforce healthy boundaries. The last thing we want is for others to snoop into our personal or private lives, see our sons, family life and what we do whenever we're not at the workplace. Some colleagues don't mind mingling on social media while the rest of us do mind very much. We need to draw the line somewhere.

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I thought facebook was the stone age now. It's all insta or IG or snapchat. She could be ignoring you or not wanting to connect with you or hasn't looked at the new friendship requests dropdown column. Maybe you're one out of 50 friend requests that are outstanding and the little red number is perpetually there and she's tired of dealing with random people adding her.

 

I agree with just speaking with her in person and not looking to add colleagues on facebook. Let's face it : you're just looking for a way to voyeur into her life, look at her photos and snoop on whether she's with any guys right now. Don't give off that vibe. It just doesn't have a good feel. Up your game in person and get to know each other more in person.

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Relax, OP. It's been a day. She might not be as active as user as you are and hasn't logged in yet.

 

However, I have to wonder about a few things. What happened here? "Last day at work I get an offence, when she met a new friend on language classes. I asked her about it, but he ridicule me." What did you ask her exactly, and how did this guy ridicule you? Do you know him?

 

Also, we have this: "Previously she told me that she likes me and she is busy but she intends to meet me later." So you have asked her out before and she said not now, but maybe later?

 

And finally: "I'm staring to fb expecting her acceptance" Perhaps this is a language issue, but are you actually sitting there with FB open, waiting and waiting for her reply?

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Why would you send a friend request on fb to someone you are interested in when you already have their number??

That’s taking a step backwards!?

 

And why would you expect another to accept that friend request immediately?

I think my own brother took a month to accept mine lol.

I wasn’t offended at all lol

 

I have always waited at least a few months into dating someone before adding them on fb. Fb is for friends not acquaintances imo.

 

One guy I dated for a year or more sent me a fb friend request one month into dating. I didn’t accept. When I next saw him in person I said I didn’t want to add him yet. He was cool with that. Maybe a few months later I accepted.

 

Have you actually asked her out?

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Relax, OP. It's been a day. She might not be as active as user as you are and hasn't logged in yet.

 

However, I have to wonder about a few things. What happened here? "Last day at work I get an offence, when she met a new friend on language classes. I asked her about it, but he ridicule me." What did you ask her exactly, and how did this guy ridicule you? Do you know him?

 

Also, we have this: "Previously she told me that she likes me and she is busy but she intends to meet me later." So you have asked her out before and she said not now, but maybe later?

 

And finally: "I'm staring to fb expecting her acceptance" Perhaps this is a language issue, but are you actually sitting there with FB open, waiting and waiting for her reply?

 

EDIT: Last day at work I get an offence, when she met a new friend on language classes. I asked her about him, but she ridiculed me

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EDIT: Last day at work I get an offence, when she met a new friend on language classes. I asked her about him, but she ridiculed me

 

Leave her alone. The message is clear: don't bother her anymore. She sounds like a bully, frankly. There is no need to bully/ridicule you if you simply asked a question. That's rude and uncalled for. It sounds like you were offended by her behaviour also.

 

The whole thing is awkward and off. Don't speak to her anymore about the language classes. If she speaks to you for work related items, just remain professional and treat her as a work colleague.

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She finally added me to friends on fb, but when i asked her "when will you visit me?" she told me that she is busy all the week. Since I was employed, she was always nice to me and she appreciated my company. Now she avoids me without clear reason and only says "hello". I'm totally confounded.

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She doesn't seem to want a situation outside of work. Be polite and professional, but stop inviting her to visit you. Not confusing at all. In fact it's crystal clear that all she wants is a friendly coworker situation and does not want to date people at work. "Busy" means no. Leave her alone now.

She finally added me to friends on fb, but when i asked her "when will you visit me?" she told me that she is busy all the week.
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