Is he trying to use me?

I have a friend that I have been in love with for many years now. I walked away from him and our friendship because we cannot be together.

He is in an arranged marriage and he says he can't leave because of the kids. There has never been anything other than friendship between us but I have always been in love with him and he knows it.

Recently he contacted me as he had some issues with his work and had to get another job that is only giving him half of what he used to earn and his family are having to help him pay the rent and bills and this has embarrassed him. He contacted me as he wanted to start a business with me to help his financial situation. I currently own a couple of successful businesses and he thought I was the perfect person to ask.

Now I don't have a problem with helping him and steering him in the right direction (I am still very much in love with him). He has asked me for a loan of $30,000 and said that he would pay me back slowly over time when his business gets off the ground. This is totally ok with me but the problem is we are going to be having more to do with each other during this time as I would need to help steer him in the right direction.

I can't help but think he is trying to use me as he knows I am in a reasonably good position financially and he knows I am in love with him so he is perhaps taking advantage of this situation.

I asked him had things changed and was there a chance for him and I and he wont answer with yes or no anymore, he is saying let's get involved with business and see how things grow and develop between us over that time.

My problem with this is my feelings for him growing even more than they are if we are to spend more time together even though it's business related.

What are your thoughts?

No one can "use you". You are trying to buy his attention and love. He is married. You need to stop chasing married men and stop trying to buy them with money.

He is in an arranged marriage. He has asked me for a loan of $30,000. This is totally ok with me but the problem is we are going to be having more to do with each other during this time as I would need to help steer him in the right direction.

Never mix business with pleasure.

You have feelings for him so going into business with him would be a terrible idea. You’re likely to end up broken hearted or out 30 grand.

Is he using you? I don’t know, maybe. But if I were in his position and needed to support my family, I would explore the option too. Not with intent to use someone, but more with intent to learn from someone who is where I want to be. Only he knows his motives, but I wouldn’t just assume right off the bat that he’s trying to take advantage of you.

Bad idea...very very bad idea. He's in a financial pickle for a reason. You only start a business with another successful person and he's is not it. Someone that's down on their luck will only destroy your reputation/business/ embezzle money etc. Loan money? hell no! you would be a damn fool to give him ANYTHING. There is something else he's not telling you. I think he has either and an addiction problem (alcoholic?) or a gambling problem...something that is the cause of him losing his job, and debt.

Open your damn eyes! he is desperate, he is willing to take advantage of you because he knows you are weak for him. It's only about the money.

What are your thoughts?

Don't lend him the money. Your feelings make it impossible for you to think clearly about him and the situation.

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