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Thread: Narcissist or something else?

  1. #11
    Platinum Member maew's Avatar
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    I feel like i can't trust him or lean on him anymore if anything was to happen in my life. He has not apologized as he said he has done nothing wrong and his exact words were 'when there is no transparency i like to be away'
    Trust your gut. If you want stability and security, and to be in a relationship where you are free to talk to whoever you please without having your fiance call and threaten to kill him... this is not the guy for you.

  2. #12
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    Your ex is unstable. You should stay away from him. I am certain that there is a lot you are not telling us.

    You need to get to a therapist to deal with your problems. The pills may be exascerbating the problem , along with your crazy ex. You can't live your life in the house. Get some help and lose the ex. He is dangerous!
    Last edited by Hollyj; 11-01-2019 at 03:52 PM.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    .. and anxiety and panic are often times a sign of something you aren't dealing with or something you are denying.

    You could be stuffing the disappointment and mistreatment from this boyfriend and instead calling it something different. You disassociate yourself from the pain long enough it comes back in the form of anxiety and panic.

    Not sure if this is the case but it's something to consider.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    I don't know if he's a narcissist. Make sure your ex remains your ex and keep it there permanently. He's sick. I wouldn't trust him either.

    He's extremely jealous which is scary. My BIL (brother-in-law) is extremely jealous and wreaked havoc not only in his marriage but also permanently ruined many family dynamics. You need to stay far away from people who are nothing but red flags.

    Only be with normal, sound people. You'll thank yourself for it.

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Have you met in person? No one just evaporates into thin air.
    Originally Posted by liquidpaper
    Then suddenly he went offline and I couldn't reach him online or through his phone and this is odd he always has his phone with him.

  7. #16
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    I get the feeling you haven't told the whole story. It doesn't seem plausible that he would pull a stunt like he did without earlier evidence of similar stunts. Well, actually there is a hint of it in the first few sentances where you mention that you cut off a friendship because your BF was jealous. That's already a red flag. What else did you leave out?

    Narcissist or not, this doesn't sound like a healthy relationship at all. Don't go back to him, it will make your anxiety worse.

  8. #17
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Rose Mosse
    It sounds fishy, all of it. Even the content from your guy friend. Sorry. I wouldn't believe any of it and his opinion is in a gray area to me (not trustworthy) especially since he may have some angst against your ex-fiance in the first place for having forced you to end your friendship with him earlier.

    I think you might be better off streamlining your support network and letting go of strange people in general. If your guy friend was really a friend he'd butt out of it all together. You are suffering from some kind of severe anxiety and unable to control your worries/thoughts. Calling friends/family frantically because you're not able to get a hold of someone in that moment is a little over the top. You were depending a little too heavily on your fiance for support, imho. I think what you really need are meds or a therapist to help you navigate your thoughts and control any negative thoughts or anxiety attacks. I don't think the level of involvement or help you required from your fiance was very fair. He handled it poorly too.

    Just figure out your work situation and earn some income so you can keep yourself afloat. Process all of this when you have a moment to yourself. I don't think you were clear to start and maybe your judgment has been clouded all along in a lot of your friendships. Let go of this oddball. He's not your fiance anymore. Put him in the past. I'd be very wary of this male friend of yours also who appeared out of nowhere. Work on yourself and focus less on others.
    I thought the same thing.

    You don’t hear from him but he contacts this ex friend from years ago to threaten him?

    That friend may be pulling your leg.

    I mean, I understand if he did it while you were together but why would he do that during a time he bailed?

    And your job firing you in such a manner is illegal so that doesn’t make sense either.

    If you had Dr.s orders to take a leave of absence and they fired you, girlfriend sue... seriously because again it’s illegal but if you, yourself decided you couldn’t deal anymore with zero documentation well your job was well within their rights unfortunately.

    You have a whole lot going on right now, breathe. I think your finances are way more important that your ex right now.

    That can wait until you’re back on your feet.

    Priorities!

    I wish you luck. So sorry, anxiety is a mother...

  9. #18
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    I'm really sorry to hear everything that happened, that's awful. I can't believe how your job treated you after you worked with them so long. Listen I really think you should completely end things with your fiance. He sounds really unstable and for the lack of better word, psycho. Sounds like he has a lot of mental health issues of his own. Or that he's just a really selfish person. Maybe he's not crazy or narcissistic but he's just a terrible person. Seems he wanted to be with you while things were good, but because you'd developed anxiety and were let go from your job, he decided to run away from you. He could be one of those people that only wants to be with someone in happy times and not the sad times. The way he just ghosted you for many months and blocked after three years together and being engaged. It's absolutely disgusting. If I was you no way would I take him back! EVER!

  10. #19
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    The sudden disappearance is concerning. Is it possible he was seeing somebody else? Was he often absent?

    There are scammers that have double lives.. They'll marry a girl, gain her confidence, then organise a loan or to purchase a house together, but, wait... You'll have to put all of your money into their account first and then, poof! You'll never see them again. Not sure if he was one of these? Just seems that when things weren't going well, he was nowhere to be seen.

    At the very least, he is a coward, or was seeing someone else imo.

    Ignore all contact, regardless of how 'reasonable' it seems. Believe me, it is not reasonable! The threat needs to be reported to the police incase you need a restraining order later.

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