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Thread: Narcissistic mother trying to impose curfew at 21?

  1. #21
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    btw, have you ever given your mom a reason not to trust you? Drugs? did she find an open diary talking about how you snuck a boy in the house when you were younger at night? But overall, stop complaining - and move out when the time makes sense

  2. #22
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    Originally Posted by abitbroken
    Why are you awake with the light on at 3 am? Mom sees the light or can't sleep because she hears you up. go to bed.

    I would just abide by the rules so that when you move out, you aren't presenting it as a rift/you are moving out because you hate them but because that's the natural progression of your life.

    Just bide your time and save your money and move.
    My light was off. She’s usually up at that time.

  3. #23
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    Originally Posted by abitbroken
    btw, have you ever given your mom a reason not to trust you? Drugs? did she find an open diary talking about how you snuck a boy in the house when you were younger at night? But overall, stop complaining - and move out when the time makes sense
    I don’t drink or smoke. Never snuck a boy in. I don’t know why she doesn’t. She’s the same with my little sis and my dad. She will ask the same question three times. I can only recall her reading my diary where I contemplated suicide and other thoughts at 13. That’s all. & not complaining lol just venting

  4. #24
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    Originally Posted by oheyitsfaith
    I don’t drink or smoke. Never snuck a boy in. I don’t know why she doesn’t. She’s the same with my little sis and my dad. She will ask the same question three times. I can only recall her reading my diary where I contemplated suicide and other thoughts at 13. That’s all. & not complaining lol just venting
    Well, the bolded would explain why she is micro-managing you. She is probably worried sick that you're thinking/writing the same kind of thing again. Did you get therapy for your contemplation of suicide and other thoughts, luv?

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  6. #25
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    Originally Posted by ThatwasThen
    Well, the bolded would explain why she is micro-managing you. She is probably worried sick that you're thinking/writing the same kind of thing again. Did you get therapy for your contemplation of suicide and other thoughts, luv?
    Yes I did, after about six years. I went through a year-long therapy last year for the first time. I am trying to see a new therapist currently, but they are currently wait-listed so I hope soon.

    Also my school is about a hour away. My mom wants me to come home every weekend & she last mentioned “so you’ll be in school for four days” I definitely do not plan to come home every weekend. When I last told her I wasn’t, she used my neighbor as an example, who came every weekend only for her job. My friends have advised to not argue it out yet until then. Good idea or just reiterate to her again that I will not? Thanks!!

  7. #26
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    Originally Posted by oheyitsfaith
    Yes I did, after about six years. I went through a year-long therapy last year for the first time. I am trying to see a new therapist currently, but they are currently wait-listed so I hope soon.

    Also my school is about a hour away. My mom wants me to come home every weekend & she last mentioned “so you’ll be in school for four days” I definitely do not plan to come home every weekend. When I last told her I wasn’t, she used my neighbor as an example, who came every weekend only for her job. My friends have advised to not argue it out yet until then. Good idea or just reiterate to her again that I will not? Thanks!!
    Why are you not coming home? Just to lock horns? Or do you actually have a reason (there is a meeting, or you have a lab to complete). I would come home, and then for the following weekend tell mom ahead of time that you are staying an extra day because you need to finish a group project or there is a speaker of interest to your major coming that you need to hear or a REAL reason to be at school - not just to fart around and then stick to it. Don't go to school and simply don't show up at home. You want to gain mom's trust right? She and dad are paying for school, right?

  8. #27
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    btw, an hour is an average adult work commute. My school was an hour and 15 minutes away. I drove there every day. Its a privelege to live there, do you understand, since you are close by. If you are only home three days a week, why such animosity? you were acting like you lived there 24-7. So do what you please on your nights at school and follow house rules the other nights

  9. #28
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    Originally Posted by abitbroken
    Why are you not coming home? Just to lock horns? Or do you actually have a reason (there is a meeting, or you have a lab to complete). I would come home, and then for the following weekend tell mom ahead of time that you are staying an extra day because you need to finish a group project or there is a speaker of interest to your major coming that you need to hear or a REAL reason to be at school - not just to fart around and then stick to it. Don't go to school and simply don't show up at home. You want to gain mom's trust right? She and dad are paying for school, right?
    I’ll be taking six classes next semester & will be staying on campus. She wants me to come after Thursday to come back home and then leave on Sunday. & they will help expenses but I have a full ride scholarship since freshman year.

  10. #29
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    Originally Posted by oheyitsfaith
    Yes I did, after about six years. I went through a year-long therapy last year for the first time. I am trying to see a new therapist currently, but they are currently wait-listed so I hope soon.

    Also my school is about a hour away. My mom wants me to come home every weekend & she last mentioned “so you’ll be in school for four days” I definitely do not plan to come home every weekend. When I last told her I wasn’t, she used my neighbor as an example, who came every weekend only for her job. My friends have advised to not argue it out yet until then. Good idea or just reiterate to her again that I will not? Thanks!!
    Can you not sit down with her and your father and have a family discussion like adults as to why you will benefit to stay at school and just come home two weekends a month or something? Can you come up with a compromise that would suit the two of you?

  11. #30
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    Originally Posted by oheyitsfaith
    I’ll be taking six classes next semester & will be staying on campus. She wants me to come after Thursday to come back home and then leave on Sunday. & they will help expenses but I have a full ride scholarship since freshman year.
    Well -- why not go home for a visit and some home cooked meals? Maybe instead of locking horns, tell her you have to stay Friday for a project, but you will spend the inight saturday at home, and different weekends do different things -- some weekends come home thursday night for dinner and actually ask to do something with your parents and drive back saturday?

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