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Thread: Damage to severe for us to ever try again?

  1. #1

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    Damage to severe for us to ever try again?

    PLEASE HELP

    To anyone that takes the time to read this and give me advice, in advance thank you.

    Me and my fiancÚ was together just under a year.
    We were happy and in love, She idolized me and I did her.
    I took on two children she had with two different men and took them on as my own and raised them, put food in their bellies and loved them both very much she did a lot for me as I did for her. She had bought her dress for the wedding, bridesmaid dresses, printed food menus you name it. We were looking to move out together and talking about dropping to one car between us. It was very committed and we couldn't of been happier.

    When we argued sometimes, she would have my back always and I would have hers without fail when she wasn't nice.
    Anyway this is what happened. It all seemed perfect. She in my eyes was the one.

    We had our biggest argument we have ever had. I was out of order and it was my fault mainly.
    We made up and I apologized and so did she.
    However 2 days later I was working and I had a customer in my shop.
    She then messaged me saying she felt insecure and was struggling after our argument.
    She was with her friend, She told me to ring her ASAP and she loves.
    I wasn't thinking straight with the customer there and was actually not very nice to her when she needed me through message.

    HOWEVER, I then got a message from her friend through her account on Facebook saying She has had a break down.
    The customer finally left and I was finally able to ring her.
    There was no answer at all, so I rushed round her friends house to be told she was leaving me.
    It was my fault I shouldn't of spoke to her like that.
    She told me to get help for mental health problems like she had asked me to do before.

    This is where the plot took a wrong dark twist, She said she needed space and so I left gutted and respected her and did so, I was then arrested on a false bitter allegation against me of rape.
    She then phoned my friend the next day at work asking if I was okay!?
    The allegation was dropped by the police within no time and it didn't even leave the officers desk as she has previous of accusing men of things and her name they were aware of. She also let neither father of her children see them.

    I was destroyed.

    Then, once it got dropped I packed her stuff she had gave me back once she made that horrible allegation and shoved it back through her door in anger.
    Time went by and I saw on her Instagram that she posted she finally got her smile and personality back thanks to her friends for supporting her when she was drowning without me. She is now playing victim.

    I chose to make a video of all the memories and everything we did for each other and the blood sweat and tears that was put into us from both sides.
    She chose to just delete my final way to contact her(blocked on everything else) and didn't even give it the time of day to look at it.

    Anyway I am now struggling, as despite her maliciousness of what she did, I wasn't perfect and I could of helped towards her break down.
    I wish I had supported her right then and that may not of happened.

    I am struggling to cope with the loss of her and the kids, Its like she's now a ghost. Gone.
    I do believe she genuinely loved me for what she did for me as I did her and what I did for her.

    I am trying to tell myself, hang on she was willing to stitch you up like that and willing to turn her friends and family against you without you having a chance to defend yourself and speak to her about the relationship properly. She should of spoke to you about it in person realizing I was at work instead of it all getting out of hand and now its lost.

    Despite what she chose, I still love her and I know she misses me to deep down despite what she's telling her friends and what her friends I am sure are telling her to not do.

    I am devastated. Moving forward I need advice on:
    Is there any chance I will ever hear from her again or is that way to much damage?
    If not how do I reassure myself on her not being the right one and moving on?
    Surely if she had loved me as much as I loved her she wouldn't of done it and worked on it.

    Thank you all for your time.
    Last edited by Thegvill; 10-30-2019 at 11:12 AM.

  2. #2
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    So first of all if you were together just under a year you didn't "bring up" her children.

    Second, you two are toxic together. Very unhealthy for her children to witness. I hope you two do not reconcile for their sakes.

  3. #3

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    One was only a few weeks old when I met her. So yes I did the first part of her life. However thanks for your opinion.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Quit while you're ahead. 👟👟 Run, don't look back. Sever all ties. You don't really know anyone in a few months, she's not your fiance and you didn't "keep her kids bellies full".

    Stay away from her. This will not end well. You need to immediately cut all contact and delete her and all her people from all your social media and messaging apps. The police know you now so stay far far away permanently.

    She has also told all her people you are an abuser and a rapist. Next time you'll need expensive defense lawyers and possibly end up in prison.
    Originally Posted by Thegvill
    I was then arrested on a false bitter allegation against me of rape.

    The allegation was dropped by the police. once it got dropped I packed her stuff s

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    I think you dodged a bullet with this woman. She sounds like major trouble to me.

  7. #6
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    Originally Posted by Thegvill
    she has previous of accusing men of things and her name they were aware of.
    Um, so you were just next stop on her crazy train. Fast and furious in - fast and furious out. She will probably just do the same thing with the next guy and the next, cuz she's a coo-ka-doo.

    She sounds like a horrible human being to be honest. Please take some time to figure out why you missed all the red flags.

  8. #7
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    Where's the father of the very young infant? Where's the other child's father?

  9. 10-31-2019, 02:42 PM

  10. #8
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    Be glad it's over. She falsely accuses you of rape and wants to know if you are OK.

    Dodged a bullet here. Block and move on.

  11. #9
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    Originally Posted by Thegvill
    One was only a few weeks old when I met her. So yes I did the first part of her life. However thanks for your opinion.
    You said you were together under a year.

  12. #10
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    I think he's saying when the new kid was born he was there as a step in dad.


    IMO you both need therapy but you may need it more for entering a situation with a clearly bat crazy woman.


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