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Thread: I haven't heard from him yet, should I be concerned?

  1. #1
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    I haven't heard from him yet, should I be concerned?

    Some differences between the guy and I - I'm 23, he's 21 - I'm at University and he's doing an apprenticeship - While he moved to the country I am in when he was young, and he hasn't done a whole lot of travelling however I have.

    I met this guy out on the weekend, and it was almost instantaneous attraction/chemistry. He came over to me and told me how attractive I was. We ended up sitting on the ground and talking for a few hours, which started off as a general chit chat. I believe we asked each other if we're single, he told me that he was a few months out of a serious relationship which ended badly. We spoke about mutual friends and how we actually went to the same primary school. We had a fair bit in common and he told me that he liked my personality. Then the compliments starting coming in, he told me that I must be smart for what Iím studying, that Iím out of his league and questioning why would I want to spend time with him. He could tell that I was attracted to him however so he asked if I would like to come home with him or otherwise offered we meet the next day. I decided to go home with him, in the taxi and when we had to run into a store (for condoms and both of our lips were so dry, we had to get some chap stick), we couldnít keep our eyes off each other and smiling ear to ear. When we got back to his, he offered me a drink and something to eat. We then watched some tv, and he was amazed that I liked the same YouTubers as me, said I have a good sense of humour and again, that he likes my personality. We ended up getting intimate, and he couldnít stop telling me how sexually attractive I was. He also told me that I was the best lay heís ever had, that itís like being with a porn star and that heís only slept with a few girls and those girls were his exís so he jokingly told me that I should feel lucky. He got the general understanding that Iíve slept around quite a bit. He mentioned his previous girlfriends barely ever gave oral. One of his friends called him, he picked up the phone and jokingly said that he was spending time with the missus (to his friend, regarding me), he told me afterwards how pretty I am. We ended up having a fairly fun night in sort of getting to know each other and sort of playing around Ė Iím sure you get the gist. A lot of flirting with each other, kissing and being affectionate. He was also asking me questions such as do I get treated nicely by men. After we were being intimate, we layed there for a bit, something came up and I asked him how he's enjoying being single. He said it's okay but he prefers being in a relationship if he loves the girl.

    The next morning, he offered to drop me home; however, I declined. He also gave me some of his clothes that he claims he doesnít wear, to wear home instead of the dress I had. From memory, I donít think I gave him my number however, he has me on social media. I asked him how would he like me to give the clothing back, and he said he would message me. I havenít heard from him since Saturday evening (when we first met), essentially Sunday. He's been watching my Instagram stories and I noticed one his male friends did but that's it.

    What is your take on this? Iím interested in the guy however Iím completely aware it may just be sexually charged.
    Last edited by dustycloud; 10-30-2019 at 09:32 AM.

  2. #2
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    I think you posted about this person a few days ago. He told you up front he was just a few months out of a serious relationship . He shared this to let you know not to have expectations that he was now looking to get serious again or perhaps he realized you weren't his long term type so he told you this so as not to mislead you.

    If he wanted to see you again I think he would have contacted you by now to ask you out on a proper date in advance. I would assume he is not interested in seeing you again and wouldn't analyze whether it was because of what happened or something else. He's basically a stranger to you. He said a lot of sweet things and it's his actions that count -his actions show you he is not interested in seeing you again - if he was able to say all those intense things then one would think he'd want to make sure to get another date with you lined up. The one thing he did say that you should focus on is his leading with "I just got out of a serious relationship."

    You did increase the risk of not hearing from him again by having sex with him right away and sharing about your multiple partners (certainly you should share if there is risk of STD exposure but no need to share about your multiple sex partners).

    Chalk it up to a fun night of sex and I'm sorry you feel disappointed.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    I think he just wanted to get laid, and you obliged.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Why don't you message him about his clothes? It sounds like a one-night stand, but he may contact you for hookups again.
    Originally Posted by dustycloud
    I decided to go home with him, in the taxi and when we had to run into a store for condoms. He also told me that I was the best lay heís ever had, that itís like being with a porn star. He mentioned his previous girlfriends barely ever gave oral.

    He also gave me some of his clothes that he claims he doesnít wear, to wear home instead of the dress I had. I asked him how would he like me to give the clothing back, and he said he would message me. I havenít heard from him since Saturday evening.

  5.  

  6. #5
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    Is this a different guy from this guy? This was only 2 weeks ago:
    [Register to see the link]

    This guy called you a "good lay" and compared you to a porn star. Not the words of a guy who is looking for a girlfriend or even a date. He was pretty clear it was a hookup.

    Based on your post from 2 weeks ago and the most recent two posts, are you looking for hookups or a boyfriend?

  7. #6
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    It could be this guy: [Register to see the link]
    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    Is this a different guy from this guy? This was only 2 weeks ago:
    [Register to see the link]

    This guy called you a "good lay" and compared you to a porn star. Not the words of a guy who is looking for a girlfriend or even a date. He was pretty clear it was a hookup.

    Based on your post from 2 weeks ago and the most recent two posts, are you looking for hookups or a boyfriend?

  8. #7
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    Yes it's the same guy.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by dustycloud
    Yes it's the same guy.
    If you just want casual sex hookups this is your guy.

    If you're looking to date, this guy isn't likely to be the right one.

  10. #9
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    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    If you just want casual sex hookups this is your guy.

    If you're looking to date, this guy isn't likely to be the right one.
    I agree with you. I'm not sure if the fact that I'm a highly sexual being put that tone out to him immediately as well. As we were originally dancing and I leaned in for a kiss. Also when he asked me to go home with him, I said in another way of saying "sex?" and he said yes. I do find it a bit weird how after we had done everything, he asked if I wanted to go out to a club with him with his friends, but I think he was semi-joking.

  11. #10
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    Also, I'm not sure if it's important to add, I forgot. When he first asked if I'm single, I jokingly said I was in a relationship. When we got back to his, I got a phone call from a guy which he saw and I think he asked along the lines of "Are you really in a relationship?"

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