minute_perception Posted October 30, 2019 Share Posted October 30, 2019 Some differences between the guy and I - I'm 23, he's 21 - I'm at University and he's doing an apprenticeship - While he moved to the country I am in when he was young, and he hasn't done a whole lot of travelling however I have. I met this guy out on the weekend, and it was almost instantaneous attraction/chemistry. He came over to me and told me how attractive I was. We ended up sitting on the ground and talking for a few hours, which started off as a general chit chat. I believe we asked each other if we're single, he told me that he was a few months out of a serious relationship which ended badly. We spoke about mutual friends and how we actually went to the same primary school. We had a fair bit in common and he told me that he liked my personality. Then the compliments starting coming in, he told me that I must be smart for what I’m studying, that I’m out of his league and questioning why would I want to spend time with him. He could tell that I was attracted to him however so he asked if I would like to come home with him or otherwise offered we meet the next day. I decided to go home with him, in the taxi and when we had to run into a store (for condoms and both of our lips were so dry, we had to get some chap stick), we couldn’t keep our eyes off each other and smiling ear to ear. When we got back to his, he offered me a drink and something to eat. We then watched some tv, and he was amazed that I liked the same YouTubers as me, said I have a good sense of humour and again, that he likes my personality. We ended up getting intimate, and he couldn’t stop telling me how sexually attractive I was. He also told me that I was the best lay he’s ever had, that it’s like being with a porn star and that he’s only slept with a few girls and those girls were his ex’s so he jokingly told me that I should feel lucky. He got the general understanding that I’ve slept around quite a bit. He mentioned his previous girlfriends barely ever gave oral. One of his friends called him, he picked up the phone and jokingly said that he was spending time with the missus (to his friend, regarding me), he told me afterwards how pretty I am. We ended up having a fairly fun night in sort of getting to know each other and sort of playing around – I’m sure you get the gist. A lot of flirting with each other, kissing and being affectionate. He was also asking me questions such as do I get treated nicely by men. After we were being intimate, we layed there for a bit, something came up and I asked him how he's enjoying being single. He said it's okay but he prefers being in a relationship if he loves the girl. The next morning, he offered to drop me home; however, I declined. He also gave me some of his clothes that he claims he doesn’t wear, to wear home instead of the dress I had. From memory, I don’t think I gave him my number however, he has me on social media. I asked him how would he like me to give the clothing back, and he said he would message me. I haven’t heard from him since Saturday evening (when we first met), essentially Sunday. He's been watching my Instagram stories and I noticed one his male friends did but that's it. What is your take on this? I’m interested in the guy however I’m completely aware it may just be sexually charged. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted October 30, 2019 Share Posted October 30, 2019 I think you posted about this person a few days ago. He told you up front he was just a few months out of a serious relationship . He shared this to let you know not to have expectations that he was now looking to get serious again or perhaps he realized you weren't his long term type so he told you this so as not to mislead you. If he wanted to see you again I think he would have contacted you by now to ask you out on a proper date in advance. I would assume he is not interested in seeing you again and wouldn't analyze whether it was because of what happened or something else. He's basically a stranger to you. He said a lot of sweet things and it's his actions that count -his actions show you he is not interested in seeing you again - if he was able to say all those intense things then one would think he'd want to make sure to get another date with you lined up. The one thing he did say that you should focus on is his leading with "I just got out of a serious relationship." You did increase the risk of not hearing from him again by having sex with him right away and sharing about your multiple partners (certainly you should share if there is risk of STD exposure but no need to share about your multiple sex partners). Chalk it up to a fun night of sex and I'm sorry you feel disappointed. Link to comment
melancholy123 Posted October 30, 2019 Share Posted October 30, 2019 I think he just wanted to get laid, and you obliged. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted October 30, 2019 Share Posted October 30, 2019 Why don't you message him about his clothes? It sounds like a one-night stand, but he may contact you for hookups again. I decided to go home with him, in the taxi and when we had to run into a store for condoms. He also told me that I was the best lay he’s ever had, that it’s like being with a porn star. He mentioned his previous girlfriends barely ever gave oral. He also gave me some of his clothes that he claims he doesn’t wear, to wear home instead of the dress I had. I asked him how would he like me to give the clothing back, and he said he would message me. I haven’t heard from him since Saturday evening. Link to comment
boltnrun Posted October 30, 2019 Share Posted October 30, 2019 Is this a different guy from this guy? This was only 2 weeks ago: https://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=562199 This guy called you a "good lay" and compared you to a porn star. Not the words of a guy who is looking for a girlfriend or even a date. He was pretty clear it was a hookup. Based on your post from 2 weeks ago and the most recent two posts, are you looking for hookups or a boyfriend? Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted October 30, 2019 Share Posted October 30, 2019 It could be this guy: https://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=562371&p=7175476&viewfull=1#post7175476Is this a different guy from this guy? This was only 2 weeks ago: https://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=562199 This guy called you a "good lay" and compared you to a porn star. Not the words of a guy who is looking for a girlfriend or even a date. He was pretty clear it was a hookup. Based on your post from 2 weeks ago and the most recent two posts, are you looking for hookups or a boyfriend? Link to comment
minute_perception Posted October 30, 2019 Author Share Posted October 30, 2019 Yes it's the same guy. Link to comment
boltnrun Posted October 30, 2019 Share Posted October 30, 2019 Yes it's the same guy. If you just want casual sex hookups this is your guy. If you're looking to date, this guy isn't likely to be the right one. Link to comment
minute_perception Posted October 30, 2019 Author Share Posted October 30, 2019 If you just want casual sex hookups this is your guy. If you're looking to date, this guy isn't likely to be the right one. I agree with you. I'm not sure if the fact that I'm a highly sexual being put that tone out to him immediately as well. As we were originally dancing and I leaned in for a kiss. Also when he asked me to go home with him, I said in another way of saying "sex?" and he said yes. I do find it a bit weird how after we had done everything, he asked if I wanted to go out to a club with him with his friends, but I think he was semi-joking. Link to comment
minute_perception Posted October 30, 2019 Author Share Posted October 30, 2019 Also, I'm not sure if it's important to add, I forgot. When he first asked if I'm single, I jokingly said I was in a relationship. When we got back to his, I got a phone call from a guy which he saw and I think he asked along the lines of "Are you really in a relationship?" Link to comment
happyfrank Posted October 30, 2019 Share Posted October 30, 2019 Yes it's the same guy. Message him. Maybe he forgot your social media. It happens. Link to comment
minute_perception Posted October 30, 2019 Author Share Posted October 30, 2019 Message him. Maybe he forgot your social media. It happens. He actively watches my stories though so I find that a bit hard to believe. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted October 30, 2019 Share Posted October 30, 2019 Contact him and ask if he wants his stuff back. He's 22 y/o and told you "you blew him like a porn star". That's all this is. What's the dilemma? If you got in bed together and have his stuff you can message him, no? Now is not the time to play coy or hard to get.He actively watches my stories though so I find that a bit hard to believe. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted October 30, 2019 Share Posted October 30, 2019 He actively watches my stories though so I find that a bit hard to believe. So what? I look at a lot of social media of people I do not have an interest in seeing in person or communicating with at all. He's looking because he's interested in seeing your stories. He has no interest IMO in seeing you again. But he might contact you if he feels like having sex with you again. You asked if he is interested in you romantically? No not for purposes of dating or a relationship IMO. I wouldn't put any relevance on whether he looks at your social media and of course it could be anyone else with access to his account or maybe he is showing it to a friend who might want to contact you. Link to comment
happyfrank Posted October 30, 2019 Share Posted October 30, 2019 He actively watches my stories though so I find that a bit hard to believe. He likes you. Message him. Link to comment
minute_perception Posted October 30, 2019 Author Share Posted October 30, 2019 He likes you. Message him. What makes you think that? You're the only one who has said that in the replies so far. Link to comment
happyfrank Posted October 30, 2019 Share Posted October 30, 2019 What makes you think that? You're the only one who has said that in the replies so far. Because he kept telling you how much he liked you. I wouldn't do that unless I mean it. When you rejected his offer to drop you home. Maybe he took it like you weren't really interested. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted October 30, 2019 Share Posted October 30, 2019 Because he kept telling you how much he liked you. I wouldn't do that unless I mean it. When you rejected his offer to drop you home. Maybe he took it like you weren't really interested. His actions show that he was sexually attracted to her. Actions are what matters other than words that make sure that you're not leading someone on like "I just got out of a serious relationship". People who are interested in dating other people back up words with the action of asking that person out on a date. He's never asked her on a date. They met and hung out and had sex. Link to comment
happyfrank Posted October 30, 2019 Share Posted October 30, 2019 His actions show that he was sexually attracted to her. Actions are what matters other than words that make sure that you're not leading someone on like "I just got out of a serious relationship". People who are interested in dating other people back up words with the action of asking that person out on a date. He's never asked her on a date. They met and hung out and had sex. Asking somebody on date after wonderful evening is not common. The maturity is not there yet at 21. Link to comment
Camber 2019 Posted October 30, 2019 Share Posted October 30, 2019 If you burn your hand on the stove top, just remember... if you touch it again while it's hot, you will burn your hand again. Same action, same results.. Every. Single. Time. Link to comment
LC8328 Posted October 30, 2019 Share Posted October 30, 2019 I mean, honey, if you'd like to see him again, then ask him out. You don't have to wait for *him* to approach you first. He'll accept if he wants to see you. I haven't seen your previous post but it seems like you're overthinking it. You had a fun one-night stand kind of time with someone new, now you can see if he'd like to see you again. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted October 30, 2019 Share Posted October 30, 2019 It's 2019, message him. What are you afraid of? Link to comment
Batya33 Posted October 30, 2019 Share Posted October 30, 2019 Asking somebody on date after wonderful evening is not common. The maturity is not there yet at 21. I completely disagree- he would contact her to get to see her again -people move towards pleasure and away from pain. I was asked out plenty as a teenager. My friend's daughter married her fiancee when they were teenagers - he knew how to ask her out and propose a few years ago. He doesn't need "maturity" to ask her out just a desire to see her again and get to know her. OP ask him out if you like and I would not get my hopes up that he will be interested in going on a date with you. He might be interested in meeting up for sex again. Link to comment
waffle Posted October 30, 2019 Share Posted October 30, 2019 What is your take on this? I’m interested in the guy however I’m completely aware it may just be sexually charged. He got what he was after and doesn't see a reason to contact you again. Link to comment
happyfrank Posted October 30, 2019 Share Posted October 30, 2019 I completely disagree- he would contact her to get to see her again -people move towards pleasure and away from pain. I was asked out plenty as a teenager. My friend's daughter married her fiancee when they were teenagers - he knew how to ask her out and propose a few years ago. He doesn't need "maturity" to ask her out just a desire to see her again and get to know her. OP ask him out if you like and I would not get my hopes up that he will be interested in going on a date with you. He might be interested in meeting up for sex again. I agree to disagree. Not all people mature at the same rate based on my human observation. Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.