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Thread: Struggling Immensely Due to my abusive dark past

  1. #21

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    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    What made you want sex with children when you were a teen? I really hope you don't say you don't remember. -

    Are you in individual counseling?
    Not that it makes it any better, but there was only a 3 year age difference between myself and the victims. I didn't have "sex", it was inappropriate contact... again, doesn't make it any better.

    I have not started Therapy as of yet as stated earlier, my wife is in the field and have to navigate carefully. I know that this is something that I need.

    Originally Posted by ~Seraphim ~
    At 18 you were an adult. That is plenty old enough to know you were wrong. Sexual abuse DESTROYS lives . I was decimated for 37 years . I just now climbing out to achievement in my life. 40 years later.
    Absolutely I knew what I was doing was wrong. I can't justify my behaviour. When I was doing it I had no clue of the long term repercussions of the pain that I was causing. When I started, I honestly had no concept of the fact that this would cause such pain 30 years later.

  2. #22
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Very convenient for you to be 'hazy' on all this.
    Originally Posted by Louieknott
    I was a young person 13-18, but honestly don't recall 100% for sure as this was over 30 years ago now.

  3. #23
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    How on Earth does someone not understand this leaves horrific damage?

  4. #24
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    Why were you sexually attracted to a 10 year old?

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  6. #25

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    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    Why were you sexually attracted to a 10 year old?
    At the age of ~13 I was exploring sexuality, yes it was in a very inappropriate way, but I was a kid when this started. I can't make excuses for my behaviour, but this happened when I was young and extremely stupid. When I started, i had no concept of the long term harm that I was causing.

    I am looking up a Therapist as we speak as I fully understand that this is now something that I need. I will have to try to find someone that can provide help to the Abuser as I am guessing that most people seeking therapy are the victims.

  7. #26
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
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    Yikes.

    Why are y’all comparing what he did as a minor to that of a full grown adult predator?

    Y’all know there’s a reason why minors aren’t charged as adults right?

    Do y’all really think if he was a sexual predator still he would be seeking help where he’s essentially laying out his deep dark shameful past?

    Come on guys, grow up.

    Look OPer me saying that doesn’t mean I feel you aren’t without guilt, you need to come clean, ask your sister if she wants you to confess, confess to your wife, seek therapy, now, immediately. Seek forgiveness, from others and for yourself. Your choices were horrific, but they do not have to define you for the rest of your life, you have the power to attempt to make this right, your sister has a choice to accept it or not but you have to try.

  8. #27
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    Originally Posted by figureitout23
    Yikes.

    Why are y’all comparing what he did as a minor to that of a full grown adult predator?

    Y’all know there’s a reason why minors aren’t charged as adults right?

    Do y’all really think if he was a sexual predator still he would be seeking help where he’s essentially laying out his deep dark shameful past?

    Come on guys, grow up.

    Look OPer me saying that doesn’t mean I feel you aren’t without guilt, you need to come clean, ask your sister if she wants you to confess, confess to your wife, seek therapy, now, immediately. Seek forgiveness, from others and for yourself. Your choices were horrific, but they do not have to define you for the rest of your life, you have the power to attempt to make this right, your sister has a choice to accept it or not but you have to try.
    No, I won’t grow up. He said he was still doing this shizzle at 18. That is plenty old friggin enough to know right from wrong . So is friggin 13. And no he doesn’t have to make it right with his sister how about if he leaves his sister the F alone.

  9. #28
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Unfortunately most of the world and this site included is not very abuser sexual assaulter friendly. However therapists need to be impartial and in fact many troubled people are required by law to undergo therapy after sexual assault charges have been applied.
    Originally Posted by Louieknott
    A

    I am looking up a Therapist as we speak as I fully understand that this is now something that I need. I will have to try to find someone that can provide help to the Abuser as I am guessing that most people seeking therapy are the victims.

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