Break up advice?

My boyfriend recently cheated on me and had also been talking to other girls. 3 days ago I broke up with him after finding out he’d been messaging other girls again. Now I know the advice is going to be telling me not to get back with him etc, but I do love and miss him. Do you think I should message him just to see if it’s completely over? I feel I need to know almost for my own closure if so because currently I’m constantly wondering what if he comes back to me and I’d rather just know so that I can properly move on if not.

Good you end things with him. Sorry to hear this. Permanently block and delete him and all his people from all messaging ans social media apps asap.

My advice remains the same as when this was first posted: https://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=561913&p=7166133&viewfull=1#post7166133

It only takes one person to end a relationship. So if you broke up with him, it means it’s over. No need to message him to ask for closure, or get some kind of permission to move on. You give that to yourself.

On the other hand, if you’re wanting him to come back, or wanting to know if he has plans on coming back—well, then I’d say it’s time to focus on yourself and figure out why you’re so interested in a man who treats you like this. Those are common responses to infidelity, but not particularly healthy. Reading this post and your last post, it kind of seems like his cheating is very effective in keeping you drawn to him.

What’s up with that, do you think? Getting an answer to that question, I think, may serve you better than getting any answer from him. You know him. He cheats and cheats and cheats. That part is not mysterious—just consistent behavior. What sounds mysterious to you is your own reactions and responses to it.

Where is your self respect?

he does not care about or respect you. He will cheat on you again.

Don't you think it is time that you loved yourself! You got your closure after he cheated on you numerous times. What exactly does he have to do to you for you to realize that he is no good?

"My boyfriend cheated on me twice with his ex only a week after we became official and even photographed their sexual inter course. Throughout our relationship, he has been entertaining/flirty messaging with several girls as well as saving sexual images and videos they have sent him."

Sounds like a great guy. What do your friends and family think about this creep?

Hey it doesn't matter how great a GF you can be to him, or how much you love him, that won't stop him from cheating on you. He will cheat on you again, and again and again. He's not into commitment. He wants to plug as many girls as he can.

Wake up! He's a cheater, you dumped him. Now block and delete him and move on with your life.

What do you find so appealing about a crass lying cheater?

Do you have better reasons than "but I LOVE him!!!" or "We've been together for X amount of time" or "When he's not cheating he's WONDERFUL! !"?

What exactly is it that you think he is going to say to further confirm that it's over? Do you think he will say Of course I am cheating on you & actively seeking other women to replace you? Few people are that cruel. You may love him but he doesn't love or respect you. What will you get my staying with him? You will waste your time & you might get a disease. You already know he's a liar so why would you believe him if he told you he took appropriate medical precautions?

Isn't the fact that he's a cheater closure enough for you?

Everyone gave you the same response in your last thread. What are you expecting to hear?

I am sure he will keep you on the hook for as long as you let him OP.

He will say or do whatever he needs to do to convince you to stick around.

Closure isn't a thing that is given by anyone outside ourselves.... it only happens after we process our thoughts and feelings and go through the grief of our relationship ending.

The fact that he lies to you (either directly or by hiding things from you) and cheats on you indicates that he doesn't value or respect you as a woman or as a human being.

You get to decide whether you are worthy of someone that does.