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Thread: Would you take this as a compliment from a slightly (inexperienced) person?

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    Would you take this as a compliment from a slightly (inexperienced) person?

    I'm recently dating a guy who is 2 years younger, and we've just slept together. I've had a fair bit of experience and I've slept around, which he knows. He claimed he has only slept with 3 people as he's been in long term relationships when I was giving him oral, he told me that his previous girlfriend almost never gave it. He kept telling me how sexy I am (no brainer, compliment there) and that having sex with me is like having sex with a porn star and I've been the best sex he's ever had. He also sort of kept insisting that I'm out of his league.
    Last edited by dustycloud; 10-28-2019 at 04:32 AM.

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    ...You sound very insecure.

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    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Unfortunately it sounds more like an insult than a compliment. Stop discussing your sexual past with guys. A 22 y/o guy likes sex, it's that simple. It has nothing to do with liking you per se. If you just want hookups and attention this is fine, but if you're hoping for dating this may not go anywhere.
    Originally Posted by dustycloud
    I'm recently dating a guy who is 2 years younger. when I was giving him oral. He kept telling me how sexy I am and that having sex with me is like having sex with a porn star.

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    Silver Member MirrorKnight's Avatar
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    *sigh* when a 24 year old woman thinks a 22 year old man with three (four including her?) sexual partners is "inexperienced".

    Sometimes I really wonder if the word "progressive" is appropriate for the sort of social change we have seen in the West since the end of WW2. So many societal issues boils down to the breakdown of stable nuclear families and the erosion of traditional family values.

    Don't get me wrong, I don't think women's rights and the sexual liberation of women (thanks to the birth control pill, among other factors) is inherently a bad thing, I just think there were some serious unintended consequences that we are still collectively ignoring.

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    An ex once told me a similar thing but about another woman - I was livid. Soon after my current partner and I became intimate he told me it was "like having his very own ". I told him straight out how insulted I felt. I don't know why men think it's OK to compare their partners with women they've seen in porn. It's totally not cool imo.

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    I know right. Being likened to a pornstar would feel more tacky and somewhat like an insult to me. One should not attach their self worth to sexual things 🙄, surely you have more to offer and aren't validating yourself through getting sexual attention.

    Keep your sexual escapades to yourself. Guys may sometimes find that interesting but they don't respect women that are TMI about their past.

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    Platinum Member Fudgie's Avatar
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    3 partners is considered "inexperienced"? I thought inexperienced was 0-1 when the guy is 25. Damn, color me surprised.

    Anyway, it sounds like kind of a tacky compliment but definitely not intended as an insult. Sounds like he just really loved what you were doing and felt you were good at it. That's all.

    When I lost my virginity many years ago (I've had 5 partners total now), I remember the guy (bf at the time) saying "wow I can't believe you are a virgin, you are really good at this!". I think to some guys, comparing you to a porn star is the same sentiment just expressed in a tacky, clumsy way.

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    I personally wouldn't take being compared to a porn star in any way as a compliment that I wanted to receive. As far as "out of my league" that's a fairly cliche comment people throw around.

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    What did he mean "out of his league?" Did he mean this sexually, or in general?

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    I also wouldn't equate number of partners with "experienced" -that just means you've had sex with a lot of people. Experienced in the sense of being a good lover often has nothing to do with numbers- in fact numbers can have the opposite effect. Often it's about the desire to please your partner, good communication with your partner and experience with one person you care about or at least care about pleasing sexually. To me "porn star" kind of means going through the motions in a sort of stereotyped way - and for him that might mean it's "the best" because of your practiced technique - for others the "best" might have a lot more to do with the partners' emotional connections. He likely won't be able to be too emotionally connected to you if he sees you already as out of his league -because connection requires vulnerability.

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