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Thread: Getting her to want me again

  1. #1

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    Oct 2019
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    Getting her to want me again

    The story so far…

    I am unhappily married and she has a boyfriend whom she is frustrated with, however…..

    Jan 2019 - June (not her real name) started at my work (a school) – I am senior to her. The attraction was instant between us and we would send nice messages to each other…

    March 2019 – I had helped her out by writing a reference for a job at work. She WhatsApp’d me and my wife saw. She was not pleased. I ended up telling June that she could not WhatsApp me anymore. Things went quiet for a bit and then we started flirting again.

    April 2019 – At a works do. We were chatting, I was staring at her, it was like there was no one else in the room! Other colleagues noticed and told her to stay away from me. At the end of the night I offered her a lift home. She accepted. We hugged passionately goodbye and then I told her that I had thought about kissing her. We didn’t because I could not go through with it.
    The next day I told my wife that I gave June a lift home. She hit the roof and messaged her on Instagram. I emailed June apologising for all the grief I caused. She said that she was pleased that she asked what I was thinking. She still likes me.

    April/ June 2019 – it was a bit awkward at work but we soon got back to flirting. I emailed to ask what would have happened if I tried to kiss her, she said she could not tell me because if she was too honest that would change our relationship. However if we both were single it would have been a definite…. I asked if we could talk about it in person. We never did.

    June/ July 2019 – the emails and flirting between us petered off. Things got worse at home with my wife. My feelings for June got more intense.

    Summer break – We did not contact each other at all.

    Sept 2019 – A bit awkward to start with but the flirting and looks started to happen again. I then almost broke up with my wife. I told June all about it and I think that this put her off. She would still email me a few times but not that much.

    Oct 2019 – She now emails infrequently. I get few flirty looks at work. But we still have some nice chats and I can make her laugh. I think we know that we are not friends.

    Is the attraction still there ? Yes (I think), but she is not as forward anymore.

    I do not know what to do next to get us back to where we were (and more!) Please help.

  2. #2
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    Originally Posted by l123
    I do not know what to do next to get us back to where we were (and more!) Please help.
    Getting divorced would be a start.

  3. #3

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    True , but don't women want what they can't get? Or do you think she is just starting to give up now as it is not achievable? When i told her I would likely be splitting up from my wife it did not make her want me more...

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Lol. So staying married is what you believe keeps her interested? Unfortunately it sounds like you're the one who is obsessed with her. But you are not splitting up with your wife. That is just another line you're feeding her. This sounds more like a game to you. Sadly you are harming your wife/family with your bs games.
    Originally Posted by l123
    don't women want what they can't get? When i told her I would likely be splitting up from my wife it did not make her want me more...

  5.  

  6. #5
    Platinum Member
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    Originally Posted by l123
    True , but don't women want what they can't get? Or do you think she is just starting to give up now as it is not achievable? When i told her I would likely be splitting up from my wife it did not make her want me more...
    This.

    And no, women don't always want what they can't get - especially when it's a married man who shows poor character traits. Some will ignore that wedding ring and for it anyway, but you'd be very naive to assume that applies to all women in general.

    It sounds like this particular woman doesn't want to get involved any further when it can't go anywhere. Not much you can do when you're not single.

  7. #6
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    Yup, that’s what I want a married man who fools around. I know I love having to look behind my back wondering if he will do the same to me. 👍

  8. #7
    Silver Member MirrorKnight's Avatar
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    Wow the selfishness is real here. Not a hint of responsibility, guilt, regret...

  9. #8

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    Thanks All!

    It's not a game to me.

    I guess i have a decision to make re my current relationship. We have been married twelve years and it has been tough. I haven't even looked at another women for all that time but it wasn't until I met June and she showed some interest in me that I realised that I no longer loved my wife. If I am going to leave my wife it would be for June. However if June is not interested anymore it makes it harder. The right thing to do is probably leave my wife so that we can both be happy and get on with our live (June or no June)...

    And yes, i am getting obsessed but I am not a creep and am playing it cool at work - as hard as that is.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    What an unusual story. 🙈🙉🙊 Listen, leave your wife or not, but this woman doesn't want you anymore. When your wife finds out (and she will) you will feel like you sat on a saguaro cactus 🌵 when her attorney sends you the papers.
    Originally Posted by l123
    We have been married twelve years and it has been tough. it wasn't until I met June and she showed some interest in me that I realised that I no longer loved my wife.

  11. #10
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    Yep, June is going to find you uber attractive when your broke behind is sitting in your 300 square foot unfurnished studio flat after your wife kicks you out and takes you to the cleaners for repeated cheating. Not to mention the allure of being a selfish cheater.

    I sure hope you don't have kids.

    Stop this juvenile silliness and get back to work. And either work on your marriage or divorce your wife.

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