Why is he telling (whoever that passage was written to) that you are his "homebody" boring roommate? Why can't he practice his language skills through working or some sort of language courses? It sounds like he just wants to meet up casually with others because he is very bored and lonely with you, according to him. It seems he may be looking for someone else to host him.Originally Posted by TotoroGirl
Quoting myself here because you still haven't answered these questions, OP.Originally Posted by MissCanuck
I think your responses would be helpful in getting a better sense of the context of this relationship and its current problems.
Oh I wasn't implying that he was from a poor country , there can be many reasons to want to start life again in a different place other then poverty .We wanted to be together. He is not from a "poor" country.
Friendships come in all shapes and sizes. I think he simply made a friend. Tho it's not a common type of friendship, but it is one all the same. OP if it irks you to hear about him going for dinner and a light show, maybe you should step it up, and be more active socially with your BF. He's in a new country, has to learn a new language, etc. He has sacrificed a lot to be with you so don't you forget that. Eventually this girl will move onto other things. She's 19, she has her own life, friends, and probably a few BFs. Now what you can do is set some boundaries, like no going for dinners, or do date like things because it makes you feel uncomfortable what he did...and stipulate this will apply to you as well. Once you clear the air about that, you both need to spend more time discussing things, like his struggles with adjusting to his new life there, and about your lack of adventure to do and try new things. If you want your relationship to hold up for the long term, you need to make changes too.
How long did you know one another before deciding to move him in with you? How much time did you spend together IN PERSON before making this major decision?
There are parts in his section of writing that don't sit well with me. I think this has gone on too long and he's normalized his behaviour. Emotional cheating, as this may be, springs up from a deeper reason and that reason is his sense of isolation and your relationship incompatibility. I don't even think language has anything to do with it. It's an excuse. If it was purely for language only he'd keep it to one hour and within the boundaries of a respectful meeting. He is lonely.
He wants to be out more and you're not inclined. Deep down, I suspect neither of you really get along or have much in common. It may have been your differences that sparked a relationship.
This is an opportunity where both of you can be humbled together and grow together or you both can choose to grow apart. I think he has already stepped outside the realm of the relationship and, though subconscious, it's leading towards a break up.
This person is just a catalyst. He may never engage in anything inappropriate with her but he is not happy with you as a partner.
I'd start working from the ground up in the relationship and do not attack or provoke him regarding the LE partnership. Get to the bottom of all those misgivings and resentments and the reasons why the both of you don't spend more time together.
Under review...
