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Thread: New Girlfriend have sex with two guys

  1. #1

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    New Girlfriend have sex with two guys

    I have been dating a women for several weeks for what seems to be a perfect match for me.
    The other night on a phone conversation she stated that in her past she had a continuing relationship with two football players where they all had sex together at the same time.
    Her tone was one of delight and excitement...and she even asked if I wanted to hear the details, which I promptly declined.

    This is really bothering me, at I wouldn't even want to watch a porno of two guys with one woman.
    Kept me up all night it bothered me so...

    I am at a crossroads...Should I be afraid that she will want this in the future?
    This is a action I am morally and emotionally against, if not repulsed...should I continue with this relationship or just kindly bow out?

    What's more, during the same conversation she stated she had many friends/couples when she was married that wanted to swing with them, which she said she was strongly against. I totally agree.

    I am not a prude, for sure, but isn't two guys having sex with one girl no different than a mini-orgy.
    I mean, if I am so freaked out by this, can I go forward?

    Would appreciate any advice and direction from guys and gals...Thanks...

  2. #2
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    Deal breaker. If a new guy I was dating was excited about giving me titillating details about his past threesomes, it would be a bubbbye.
    I'm not against people who are into it, but I couldn't be involved with someone like that because it's not my thing.

  3. #3
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    You have dated two weeks and you think she is the "perfect match?" If someone told me that, it would be a big, red flag. You don't know this woman.

    To answer your question, it would be a big problem that she did it, and more importantly that she is sharing it! Weird!

    Slow your roll with people!

  4. #4
    Silver Member Camber 2019's Avatar
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    Same.

    That situation happened to me TWICE! After I received the information, I was like (as Smackie said) bubbbye.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    So, it's only been a few weeks and you just discovered some serious deal breakers and major values and lifestyle incompatibilities. Be happy it came out so soon and move on. This is literally the point of dating - weeding out people who are not your match and she is clearly not your match.

    Plenty of attractive girls out there who actually share your relationship values. Don't settle for less and continuing to date this chic would be exactly that - settling for much much less. Besides, it will eat at you and will become toxic.

    Mind you I'm not passing judgment on her or you. Neither one of you is wrong or a bad person or whatever. My point is that you two are way too different to get along well in a long term relationship. Quite literally not compatible. When that happens it's better to own that fact and part ways fast, before things get miserable for both of you.

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    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    I would punt this one to the end-zone 👟🏈
    Originally Posted by billkuyp
    she had a continuing relationship with two football players where they all had sex together at the same time.

  8. #7
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    OP, by "perfect match" are you saying ... in the cot?

    Sounds like she needs a little more than that. Is that what you want?

    To have to share your lover with another person to ensure they are satisfied?

    I am not such a prude that I cannot understand that there is something about this that will be exciting to some of us.

    Nor would I preach this way or that.

    But this lady is telling you this so you know the sort of physical sex life she needs.

    If this beyond your boundaries, you should respect her honesty and let her know.

    If you think you can go with her on this, do it!

  9. #8
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    It sounds like you're really not into these things at all and they really put you off. So yeah if this is what she likes sexually then I don't think you are right for each other. But can I just say that everyone has their own fetishes. I'm bisexual and I'm into threesomes and orgies and I've had two guys do it to me at the same time. I still want marriage and kids and I wouldn't do it then. But my previous partners were into it too, so we did it. I mean it's just personal choice. Some people are into golden showers, torture, whatever (I'm not). It is totally fine if you don't like it but she's allowed to like those things. It just sounds like you're wrong for each other.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by billkuyp
    I have been dating a women for several weeks for what seems to be a perfect match for me.
    The other night on a phone conversation she stated that in her past she had a continuing relationship with two football players where they all had sex together at the same time.
    Her tone was one of delight and excitement...and she even asked if I wanted to hear the details, which I promptly declined.

    This is really bothering me, at I wouldn't even want to watch a porno of two guys with one woman.
    Kept me up all night it bothered me so...

    I am at a crossroads...Should I be afraid that she will want this in the future?
    This is a action I am morally and emotionally against, if not repulsed...should I continue with this relationship or just kindly bow out?

    What's more, during the same conversation she stated she had many friends/couples when she was married that wanted to swing with them, which she said she was strongly against. I totally agree.

    I am not a prude, for sure, but isn't two guys having sex with one girl no different than a mini-orgy.
    I mean, if I am so freaked out by this, can I go forward?

    Would appreciate any advice and direction from guys and gals...Thanks...
    This is something you should be speaking about together. If you are interested in her, describing her as your "perfect match", she likely has other redeeming qualities and traits that you look for in a partner. How a person conducts themselves outside of a committed relationship may be different within. Don't make broad generations, do not speculate and don't get anxious over this. Take deep breaths and approach this in a civil manner with her. There is no reason to be rude about it or come across as a prude (I'm sure you are not one). It seems like you've not encountered something like this before and the unfamiliarity is doing your head in. Just as you are looking for respect and the time of day, give her the same. Make your decision after you speak about it together.

    Her asking you about the details is unnecessary. That is the only glaring issue to me. It's someone who is either a minority in the way she expresses herself (extreme extroversion and sharing/openness), she's mentally unhinged (not in the right frame of mind for dating monogamously) or there's been a misunderstanding between the both of you. You only know each other for a few weeks. Start getting to know each others' boundaries and limits.

    You may not even want to find out more about her. That too is perfectly ok. I'd pay attention her (what she's saying) and your emotions and your own thoughts. Don't blow things out of proportion. There is nothing to fear. Just know yourself and your own limits and how you want to spend your time.
    Last edited by Rose Mosse; 10-25-2019 at 12:19 PM.

  11. #10

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    A sincere thank you to all for providing your advice and opinions...

    It has been a great help to me, as I wasn't sure if I was blowing it out of proportion or if most would feel a bit freaked out by this as I am.

    Thanks again.

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