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Thread: New Girlfriend have sex with two guys

  1. #11
    Platinum Member j.man's Avatar
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    Issue for me isn't that she had this threesome "relationship" in the past. Never was in the position myself, but if I'd gotten that kind of proposition from two attractive women in my early 20s... can't imagine I'd say no.

    But whether she's just ****in' weird bringing up her sexcepades for kicks or, more likely, she's feeling you out to see if you'd ever be interested in ever finding a guy to team up in bed with her, it'd be a pretty quick and easy no-go for me.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Don't bend over to pick up the soap if you're in her shower.😱
    Originally Posted by billkuyp
    I wasn't sure if I was blowing it out of proportion or if most would feel a bit freaked out by this as I am.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by j.man
    Issue for me isn't that she had this threesome "relationship" in the past. Never was in the position myself, but if I'd gotten that kind of proposition from two attractive women in my early 20s... can't imagine I'd say no.

    But whether she's just ****in' weird bringing up her sexcepades for kicks or, more likely, she's feeling you out to see if you'd ever be interested in ever finding a guy to team up in bed with her, it'd be a pretty quick and easy no-go for me.
    Eh, when people tell their dates these kinds of things, it's a straight up "this is who I am, this is what I'm into, are you into the same?" Not a first date conversation, but a few dates in, fair and necessary disclosure.

    If you are a match that way, great. If you are not, no harm, no foul - shake hands and part ways.

    The only wrong path here is to pretend that you are cool with that lifestyle when you are not.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Agree. Sexuality is like sushi. You either like, love something or not, it's not about politically correct or "embracing lifestyles". That is fine outside of your bedroom, but in your own bed you make your own likes and dislikes your own.
    Originally Posted by DancingFool
    E
    The only wrong path here is to pretend that you are cool with that lifestyle when you are not.

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member j.man's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by DancingFool
    Eh, when people tell their dates these kinds of things, it's a straight up "this is who I am, this is what I'm into, are you into the same?" Not a first date conversation, but a few dates in, fair and necessary disclosure.

    If you are a match that way, great. If you are not, no harm, no foul - shake hands and part ways.

    The only wrong path here is to pretend that you are cool with that lifestyle when you are not.
    Her tone was one of delight and excitement...and she even asked if I wanted to hear the details, which I promptly declined.
    That goes well beyond a disclaimer of "I like threesomes and threesomes like me." It's at best an awkward way to broach the subject even if it is your lifestyle. I would assume someone open to threesomes is interested in their own threesomes, not listening to who went first between the linebacker and the running back. Just as I never assumed monogamous women I dated were interested in the details of my sexual encounters.

    If whether a guy is willing to sit there and listen to her play out her threesome experience is her barometer for whether they'd really accept her or entertain the option, it's a pretty strange flex. She's not a bad person, but it's certainly weird.

  7. #16
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    I think you should tell her you'll go with the flow, and she needs to be upfront about her needs.

    Tell her you will be honest with her if it gets out of your comfort zone.

    You don't want to die wondering.

  8. #17
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    For me , I would have more of a problem with the fact that she so readily narrated her sex life before meeting you and had no problem with offering to divulge all the details . That for me is more of a deal breaker then the threesome . I would now be on my guard incase she had a loose tongue again and ploughed out more information . So for one I would be very clear I don't ever want a running commentry of her sex life .

    For me ..( and I stress the * for me * bit ) meeting someone who had had a threesome is neither here nor there , but again , I would be very clear that it is not my deal before we go any further .

  9. #18
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    Talk about unrefined and uncouth. Most of us keep details under the cuff and expand on details as we get to know each other, whether it be the reasons for breakup, divorce, past relationships, past jobs, past friends, etc. This girl seems rather unraveled and attention-seeking. Maybe she just wants to "lay it all out there" and see if you are interested in such sexual encounters, but it really rubs me the wrong way that she asked you if you wanted to know all the details. She volunteered in some voyeuristic way. She didn't simply tell you that this is her "thing" and she would like to participate in such encounters in the future, she wanted to give you a play-by-play within a two-week time frame of knowing her.

    It comes across as rather immature, uncouth, and attention-seeking, and even removing the sexual aspect of this, despite her redeeming qualities that make you think she's "the one," this is just a tiny chip off the iceberg of messy behaviors in all areas of life; no boundaries and acting out. Add to that, you are not remotely interested in this type of sexual relationship with threesomes or swinging or what have you, so you were rather blindsided by this factoid, but now you're expected to hear all the details?? Like some juicy gossip?

    If it was a one-time, maybe twice, past experience and "experimenting" or what have you, you may or may not be able to let it go and move forward. It sounds like she wants to continue with this type of openness, and it doesn't jive at all with your own morals and values and likes/dislikes.

    I'm sorry. I know it hurts, but this girl is messy. You do not align. You've barely dated at all, after two short weeks. It's easy to have these loving feelings when everything is brand new and sparkly, but you are seeing the hidden underbelly, underneath the glossy exterior, that isn't working, and as hurtful as it is, it's good that it is happening now instead of weeks or months from now.

    I suspect this girl will dump you faster than a box of hot rocks when you don't cater to listening to her detailed play-by-play of her exploits and you try to create boundaries. She does not sound like a keeper to me.

  10. #19
    Super Moderator annie24's Avatar
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    You two don't really sound compatible. Neither person is wrong, just you two aren't a great match. Like the others said - that's the purpose of dating. You can't really know if a person is "perfect" for you after 2 weeks.

  11. #20
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    Ive actually been through something similar like this. I was dating a girl i kind of was attracted too, and fouond out about her history. Was twoing and throwing about whether to get in a relationship with her.

    I finally took the leap, it lasted a year, she dumped me and all i could think about is comparing myself to her sexual partners even when i was no longer with her.

    I took it as if she left me because i wasnt good enough as other guys. So there you have it.

    I would be very careful, maybe even consider its not worth wasting your time. You will always be hung up on it. Its a guy thing i think.

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