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Thread: Still cant get over my ex girlfriend, why did she do this?

  1. #21
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Google is not a psychologist. It is playing with your phone and typing stuff in a search box. You need to make an appointment with a therapist/psychologist and at least start somewhere to address this obsessing and desperately googling for whatever nonsense and hair-splitting semantics come up. Try to inform yourself from reliable sources. That is the best way to move forward, address your personal situation and start feeling better.
    Originally Posted by aha45
    according to google, and emotional connection is not love.

  2. #22
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    Originally Posted by figureitout23
    Right you can work towards an emotional connection... typically with time...what does that have to do with your situation?

    What exactly are you getting at?

    I feel like youíre attempting to get us to say something by spoon feeding us info but youíre not putting enough on the spoon man...
    Im trying to work out what she meant by ' I dont think we have an emotional connection ' what she said to me. But i honestly dont understand what it means, because i loved her and if she meant it by love or feeling for eachother, i did have both of them for her. So im wracking my head around trying to know because i never asked her when she said that what she meant. If you can work towards and emotional connection and that as others have said it means to have feelings for someone, why is it not instanteous when you first get together? if you have to work towards it, as you and what ive read says, why would you get in a relationship if you dont have feelings for someone?

    I dont mean to spoon feed if thats how you feel, honestly just trying to get my head around it

  3. #23
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    It means : "I'm not feeling it for you" but in a vague and thus meaningless manner in an attempt to be diplomatic and not hurt your feelings. Stop trying to read into things that aren't there and do not exist. Have you been evaluated by a physician recently? Perhaps that would be a good idea to help you sort through some of this.

    Here's the thing. People are generally not that good with diplomacy and in many cultures they turn to white lies or meaningless platitudes. No one wants to hurt you, they just want to get the message across that it's over. They hope to do this without being perceived as mean or rude. That is why they come up with platitudes like this or any of the other meaningless lines people use to exit relationships or turn people down.
    Originally Posted by aha45
    Im trying to work out what she meant by ' I dont think we have an emotional connection ' what she said to me.

  4. #24
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    It means : "I'm not feeling it for you" but in a vague and thus meaningless manner in an attempt to be diplomatic and not hurt your feelings. Stop trying to read into things that aren't there and do not exist. Have you been evaluated by a physician recently? Perhaps that would be a good idea to help you sort through some of this.

    Here's the thing. People are generally not that good with diplomacy and in many cultures they turn to white lies or meaningless platitudes. No one wants to hurt you, they just want to get the message across that it's over. They hope to do this without being perceived as mean or rude. That is why they come up with platitudes like this or any of the other meaningless lines people use to exit relationships or turn people down.
    Thank you for your reply Wiseman. I understand. What i think im reading in too is the things that were being spoke about around the time she said this to me. She accused me of lack of affection and care. So when i read up on it and obsess over it by googling it, i get answers about how you can truly love someone but not have an emotional connection, so it puzzles my brain how that can be if it meant the feelings for someone.

    Thank you for taking the time to answer my post.

  5.  

  6. #25
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by aha45
    Im trying to work out what she meant by ' I dont think we have an emotional connection ' what she said to me. But i honestly dont understand what it means, because i loved her and if she meant it by love or feeling for eachother, i did have both of them for her. So im wracking my head around trying to know because i never asked her when she said that what she meant. If you can work towards and emotional connection and that as others have said it means to have feelings for someone, why is it not instanteous when you first get together? if you have to work towards it, as you and what ive read says, why would you get in a relationship if you dont have feelings for someone?

    I dont mean to spoon feed if thats how you feel, honestly just trying to get my head around it
    No, I recognize itís not purposeful.

    I think you might possibly have something else beyond ADHD going on, which would maybe explain the admitted obsession you seem to have with the sentence she gave you.

    You arenít going to find what she meant on google or by asking others, there is a plethora of definitions she could have for that statement and no one but her knows the intention, but in the grade scheme of things the message was clear, sheís choosing to end things.

    Thatís what should be focused on.

    Iím sorry, I know it hurts, take it one day at a time.

  7. #26
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    Originally Posted by figureitout23
    You arenít going to find what she meant on google or by asking others, there is a plethora of definitions she could have for that statement and no one but her knows the intention, but in the grade scheme of things the message was clear, sheís choosing to end things.
    This.

    And OP, it won't help you to obsess over and pick apart something she said 6 years ago. That isn't the issue here anymore. You need help with this fixation you have on her, man.

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