I'm looking for advice and closure for a complicated relationship.

I met this Foreign woman back in the spring. She was very happy to give me her number when I asked. I waited a few days to message her. I didn't know much about her so I decided to take things slow. We made play dates for our kids and would hang out and talk over the next weeks. We would talk for hours and she would be the one to message me first and want me to come out. She would even text me pictures of her and projects and it was wonderful. She was leading the interest and chasing me.

I asked her over the first week of spending time together where was her child's dad? She said he lived here. I said ok. After about 10 days of talking to her and spending time with her, I asked how often does he see your kid? She then said they lived together. I thought oh boy... It wasn't till a few weeks in of all of this that she finally told me she was married to him. ( I was totally surprised because she doesn't wear a wedding ring) She then told me she was in a unhappy marrage and that he cheated on her, they were divorced for 2 years, then decided to get married again because of their son and coming to the USA for job opportunity. She said she could not trust him.

I told her that I liked her more than a friend and she said that if she wasn't married that she would definitely date me. She said that anything could happen in the future, but wasn't ready to leave her husband. We decided to just be friends because she did not want to cheat and I didn't want her too. There was no physical contact other than a few hugs. She even told me that she told her husband that we hang out with the kids, and he was ok with it. But instead of stopping or slowing up the relationship, she continued with the daily communication, normal pictures and hanging out. I dated and talked to a few other women during this time, to try and move on with my feelings.

She went back to her country, for a month and brought us some gifts, and was so happy to see me from the smile on her face. She even bought me a birthday present for my birthday, I did for her also the next month.

So the last few months up to now, things have slowed up, she doesn't message me anymore to come out, nor message me first at all. I have been giving her space and only contacting her once or twice a week. She started a new job so that does take up a lot of her time.

Last week she told me her husband was in a serious accident and she was at the hospital, but would be ok. I tried to ask her what what happened to him but she didn't tell me. Picking up are kids at school, she is now avoiding talking to me, she comes after they get out and leaves right away. The first day after the accident I went up to her, but she said "sorry" and left. I know she is really upset about her husbands accident, because her friend told me this week.

I know she went too far with our friendship in the first place and I let her. I feel like I was lied to, led on or taken advantage of. I fell in love with her and now I am heartbroken at this point trying too move on and talk to other women. Logically I feel like I need to be done and move on, but it is so hard. I know if I message her she will answer, but whats the point? I wish I could talk to her and consult her because of what happened to her husband but I have been staying away.

I need a woman's point of view on this, I don't know if shes done with me and doesn't like me any more for any kind of relationship, or she really just needs space right now, or if shes guilty for having this relationship with me and is done. Sad thing is our kids want to play together. Thanks!

I feel like I was lied to, led on or taken advantage of. I fell in love with her and now I am heartbroken

She's married. Why she is not seeing you anymore is none of your business. Leave her alone to care for her husband where she belongs and where you do not.

Now, that being said. Take this as a lesson learned and keep yourself away from married or otherwise taken women and you won't allow yourself to get 'heartbroken' by your own hand again.

Had you left her alone or backed off from her continued contact when she originally told you her marital status, you'd only be slightly disappointed and not with a broken heart.

This is not a good situation. It is quite messy. You are having an emotional affair.

She is married. This is all you need to know. I suggest you move on from this.

I feel like I was lied to, led on or taken advantage of. I fell in love with her and now I am heartbroken at this point trying too move on and talk to other women.

How? She was honest with you, you willingly jumped in with both feet despite it being disrespectful to her husband.

Her husband has now had an accident and she's realizing where her heart lies, and it's not with you.

Leave her be.

Yes you are all right. I'm moving on completely. I talked with a friend tonight about it. I'm not going to message her anymore. She's made her choice to be unhappy, and mentally abused by her husband. That is her business. I let myself get into this situation. I only wish she would have told me right away or had a ring on. I'm not going to waste my time anymore. I do want to say that the time I spent with her was wonderful though, and I don't regret it.

Thanks for the replies.

I need a woman's point of view on this, I don't know if shes done with me and doesn't like me any more for any kind of relationship, or she really just needs space right now, or if shes guilty for having this relationship with me and is done. Sad thing is our kids want to play together. Thanks!

Other than her husband, she was not in a position to be in a relationship with anyone. When you became aware of her being married, rather than walking away, you apparently chose to remain in the line of fire hoping you wouldn't get burned.

After stating she was in an unhappy marriage (one of the many classic excuses) she's still with him. In any event, where do you the prize here?

She used you and you let her. But in the end you are the one who feel in love. Let this be a lesson. When someone tells you they are married, happily or unhappily, just wish them well and go your own merry way.

I get that you feel led on. She wasn't completely upfront about the fact that she was married. It took quite a while before you could get the whole picture regarding her situation. So I understand the confusion on your part.

But regardless of her mistake, she is apparently trying to focus on her marriage. Sorry that happened, but somewhere out there is the perfect woman for you.

The moment she told you she was married you should have walked away. She led you on at first but not after the point where she said she was married. You persisted and now she doesnt want to talk to you. Wake up and smell the coffee! It's over. You put yourself in this position and it's up to you to get out of it.

I know she went too far with our friendship in the first place and I let her. I feel like I was lied to, led on or taken advantage of.

Well, no, not really. You figured out early on that she was married, and you kept seeing her anyway. Where did you think this would really go?

She might have lied about details of her marriage, perhaps. Maybe her husband has never cheated, or maybe he had no idea she was taking the kids out with you. But the bottom line is that you still knew she was married. You might have lied to yourself believing this was more than it was, but you are not an innocent bystander or victim. You were a willing participant.

You need to move on, regardless. She might be feeling guilty now that something has happened to her husband, or maybe he caught on to her inappropriate friendship with you. Either way, there is no future with this woman as long as she is married.

Sorry.

Sorry to hear this. Are you married also? This is your cue to stop texting her:

She then said they lived together.

I am single. Lesson learned is to ask right up front if someone is single. I just assumed she was because of no ring, and I had been chatting with her for a month in person when we would pickup our kids before I asked her for her number. Never saw the child's dad and she never spoke of him. She is very pretty and I was naive and didn't think. When I finally found out she was married, I did contemplate whether to be friends or not. I know that being friends with someone you like more than that rarely works out. I was already sucked from the weeks we spent. Moving on.

She didn't lead you on at any point if you are to be completely honest with yourself. You were attracted to her, asked for her number and things went from there. It was on YOU to establish if she is single and available or not from the get go, before you even asked for her number, but you shied away from that. Eventually it came out and even so, you were shying away from reality for awhile instead of clarifying right away what her relationship status is.

That said, you have no idea if anything she ever told you about her relationship with her husband is true. Could well be she is the cheater, not him. She certainly was willing to get involved with you inappropriately and unfortunately, that lowers her credibility.

As for her no longer wanting to speak with you, who knows. Could be she is feeling guilty or could be the husband caught on to her inappropriate relationship with you. Overall, people who will cheat on their marriage tend to be damaged unstable individuals who will tell you tall tales to make you feel sorry for them and discard you when you in a heartbeat because they either found a new target or just got bored. Stay far far away from people who play these kinds of games AND own your own part in this. You walked into this with your eyes wide open. It doesn't exactly make you emotionally healthy either. Don't blame her, take responsibility for yourself and your own choices because that's all you control. If you want a relationship, then get out and date women who are actually single and make sure they are from day one.

I am single. Lesson learned is to ask right up front if someone is single. I just assumed she was because of no ring, and I had been chatting with her for a month in person when we would pickup our kids before I asked her for her number. Never saw the child's dad and she never spoke of him. She is very pretty and I was naive and didn't think. When I finally found out she was married, I did contemplate whether to be friends or not. I know that being friends with someone you like more than that rarely works out. I was already sucked from the weeks we spent. Moving on.

Lots of married people don't wear rings for all kinds of reasons, so don't assume, ask. Even if they aren't married, they can be in a relationship, so still off limits.

There's nothing complicated about this. She's married. That's all a healthy person needs to know to walk away.

Well, I don't think the woman is innocent in all of this at all and she did lead you on and use you. It seems like she enjoyed your attention and maybe did find you attractive, but she was only toying with you. I mean she didn't even have an interest in having an affair with you because nothing ever happened. It's not entirely your fault because I'm sure she knew your interest in her was not only friendship, that was obvious.

I must say though I do find it odd that if the woman has a child, you didn't straight away ask what was the deal with the father? I mean even just out of curiosity most people would probably ask. I mean she must have gotten the child from a man and not a stork in the sky lol And especially if she's really pretty it's likely that she would have at least a boyfriend or something. I think you were a bit naive to be honest.

Well, I don't think the woman is innocent in all of this at all and she did lead you on and use you.

Whilst I agree with that, I also think that as soon as the OP had the pertinent facts, he should have cut the cord here.