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Thread: I'm looking for advice and closure for a complicated relationship.

  1. #11
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear this. Are you married also? This is your cue to stop texting her:
    Originally Posted by Tsmiles
    She then said they lived together.

  2. #12

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    I am single. Lesson learned is to ask right up front if someone is single. I just assumed she was because of no ring, and I had been chatting with her for a month in person when we would pickup our kids before I asked her for her number. Never saw the child's dad and she never spoke of him. She is very pretty and I was naive and didn't think. When I finally found out she was married, I did contemplate whether to be friends or not. I know that being friends with someone you like more than that rarely works out. I was already sucked from the weeks we spent. Moving on.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    She didn't lead you on at any point if you are to be completely honest with yourself. You were attracted to her, asked for her number and things went from there. It was on YOU to establish if she is single and available or not from the get go, before you even asked for her number, but you shied away from that. Eventually it came out and even so, you were shying away from reality for awhile instead of clarifying right away what her relationship status is.

    That said, you have no idea if anything she ever told you about her relationship with her husband is true. Could well be she is the cheater, not him. She certainly was willing to get involved with you inappropriately and unfortunately, that lowers her credibility.

    As for her no longer wanting to speak with you, who knows. Could be she is feeling guilty or could be the husband caught on to her inappropriate relationship with you. Overall, people who will cheat on their marriage tend to be damaged unstable individuals who will tell you tall tales to make you feel sorry for them and discard you when you in a heartbeat because they either found a new target or just got bored. Stay far far away from people who play these kinds of games AND own your own part in this. You walked into this with your eyes wide open. It doesn't exactly make you emotionally healthy either. Don't blame her, take responsibility for yourself and your own choices because that's all you control. If you want a relationship, then get out and date women who are actually single and make sure they are from day one.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Tsmiles
    I am single. Lesson learned is to ask right up front if someone is single. I just assumed she was because of no ring, and I had been chatting with her for a month in person when we would pickup our kids before I asked her for her number. Never saw the child's dad and she never spoke of him. She is very pretty and I was naive and didn't think. When I finally found out she was married, I did contemplate whether to be friends or not. I know that being friends with someone you like more than that rarely works out. I was already sucked from the weeks we spent. Moving on.
    Lots of married people don't wear rings for all kinds of reasons, so don't assume, ask. Even if they aren't married, they can be in a relationship, so still off limits.

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    There's nothing complicated about this. She's married. That's all a healthy person needs to know to walk away.

  7. #16
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    Well, I don't think the woman is innocent in all of this at all and she did lead you on and use you. It seems like she enjoyed your attention and maybe did find you attractive, but she was only toying with you. I mean she didn't even have an interest in having an affair with you because nothing ever happened. It's not entirely your fault because I'm sure she knew your interest in her was not only friendship, that was obvious.

    I must say though I do find it odd that if the woman has a child, you didn't straight away ask what was the deal with the father? I mean even just out of curiosity most people would probably ask. I mean she must have gotten the child from a man and not a stork in the sky lol And especially if she's really pretty it's likely that she would have at least a boyfriend or something. I think you were a bit naive to be honest.

  8. #17
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    Originally Posted by Tinydance
    Well, I don't think the woman is innocent in all of this at all and she did lead you on and use you.
    Whilst I agree with that, I also think that as soon as the OP had the pertinent facts, he should have cut the cord here.

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