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Thread: Sleeping around before becoming exclusive even after 2.5 months

  1. #1

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    Sleeping around before becoming exclusive even after 2.5 months

    I met this guy in the party. We started meeting on alternate days, it's been 2.5 months now but we are still not exclusive. We haven't had a discussion around it because he has gone through a breakup 1 week before we met. So he said he doesn't want to run into anything fast as he is trying to move on.

    Today I asked him about our status and he said emotionally and mentally he is totally involved in me but physically he might get intimate with someone, though he hasn't yet.
    This made me sad, insecure as well as questioned me about his commitment. What does that mean? Does he need to sleep with someone if he really needs to move on? Where do I stand even after 2.5 months of seeing each other? How do I handle this? What should I derive from this? I'm also scared about STDs and also a heartbreak if he sleeps with someone else.

    Request you to help me with this.

  2. #2
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    Are you having sex with him? His response to you is a load of crap, in my humble opinion. What he is saying is he wants to keep his options open in case he feels an attraction to someone else and wants to have intercourse with that woman - or several women, many women, etc. Please don't think deeply about this or ask yourself more than this question: "Am I ok with this guy I am dating and having sex with having sex with someone else? The "totally involved emotionally and mentally" is meaningless as far as "commitment" -just means he likes hanging with you and likes you as a person - and that's if we assume he means what he says. There's no compartmentalizing with commitment to seeing someone exclusively -"we're exclusive emotionally and mentally so if I feel like putting my penis in someone else's body just know I'm still loyal to you emotionally and mentally?" Please. Please do not try to "analyze" that asinine statement.

    If you can't handle him having intercourse with someone else or thinking about him pursuing other ladies to have sex with he is not the right person for you.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    What he told you is what you don't want to hear, which is that you are his rebound chic.

    He likes the attention and the companionship and whatever other ego and emotional boost this is giving him, but he is in no way fully into you or committed to you in terms of a relationship or even sexual monogamy and will totally sleep around and ultimately bounce out of your life when he is healed and ready for something serious....or meets someone he wants to be serious with. Whichever comes first.

    If you don't want a heartbreak, never ever volunteer to be someone's rebound and barely one week out of a relationship....yeah....just say no to that.

    Basically, if sharing partners and sleeping around isn't your thing, drop him like a hot rock. Who needs STD's.

  4. #4
    Super Moderator HeartGoesOn's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by TiWi
    I met this guy in the party. We started meeting on alternate days, it's been 2.5 months now but we are still not exclusive. We haven't had a discussion around it because he has gone through a breakup 1 week before we met. So he said he doesn't want to run into anything fast as he is trying to move on.
    I'd tell him that you absolutely understand, therefore the best solution would be to refrain from being intimate until he reaches that stage. Watch him run...

    Either way, asking where you stand before you get to this point helps to eliminate the question, "Where do we stand.?"

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  6. #5
    Member Spucky's Avatar
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    He is mentally and emotionally TOTALLY involved with you but he's gonna sleep with other girls?
    When this all get complicated ... like why this even needs to be talked about? HE CANNOT DO THAT.

    Its stupid af.

  7. #6
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    Originally Posted by Spucky
    He is mentally and emotionally TOTALLY involved with you but he's gonna sleep with other girls?
    When this all get complicated ... like why this even needs to be talked about? HE CANNOT DO THAT.

    Its stupid af.
    Of course he can -there are women who would be fine with that or more than fine but she is not. That's all that matters.

  8. #7
    Member Spucky's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Batya33
    Of course he can -there are women who would be fine with that or more than fine but she is not. That's all that matters.
    Yeah I'm just calling a bull*s*it there because saying you are deep emotionally is total opposite of fu*king around with other woman. This is without tip toeing around what's what. I wouldn't even call those relationships, it's more like customized service exchange. Some get those emotions some get that bed action. Anyways, unhealthy and a bit bizzare.

    EDIT: oh now I see this is gay thing, well I know it's kinda part of that all Freddie Mercury culture about doing whatever the fu*k, and I respect that but for me this is highly unserious and of course all kinds of weird things and questions will arise if you twist all this shi*t like this.

  9. #8
    Super Moderator HeartGoesOn's Avatar
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    ^
    Spucky...Please watch your language. Thank you.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by TiWi
    How do I handle this?
    Time to move on. Don't sign up for something that you are not comfortable with. It won't get better.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member Clio's Avatar
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    He doesn't want to become exclusive with you. If you are scared about stds and heartbreak (and imo, you should be) you need to tell him that you want different things and bid him farewell. He is in rebound mode and 2.5 months of knowing you didn't change that. Imo, you have your answer and it is very unlikely that he will ever see you seriously if you stay on after what he told you. Imo if you stay on, you will be used. Your choice.

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