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Thread: Devastated and lost..

  1. #11
    Silver Member Camber 2019's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Google: Paul Frampton, a theoretical particle physicist who fell for this:

    [Register to see the link]
    Unlike his brother Peter, who spent his money on guitar lessons

  2. #12
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    Ummm...I wasn't that surprised regarding the online relationship because there are many posts like that here. However I was very surprised and confused at a few other things. First of all I don't completely understand why you began an online relationship with a woman on another continent. I've seen teenagers do it but you were 30 years old? Did you have no luck in your own area or at least your own country? Surely you weren't in love with her at first sight so why start a serious relationship with a total stranger off the Internet?

    Secondly, am I to understand you are a single father? Is that why you had to ask your parents to watch your daughter every time you went to Brazil? I understand love and all that but why was a woman in another country more important to you than your small child? And you kept sending her all this money when you had financial responsibility towards your child. Why couldn't your ex spend at least some of her own money on all that stuff? Don't you think it's alarming that she kept making you send money?

    Also how was your relationship good and "true love" if you fought and broke up absolutely constantly? I think you felt jealous because you had good reason to feel jealous. If she had all these guys always commenting on her pictures with hearts, guess what, that means she was somehow encouraging them. I don't think she loved you if she was talking and flirting with other guys. And she kept breaking up with you but she obviously needed more money, so she kept milking your wallet.

    Finally you sent her the $2000 and probably that was a sufficient amount for her, so she decided to dump you and immediately start sleeping with another guy. Sounds like you were way more invested in this scammer than even your own child. What on Earth do you think you were doing and how did you think it was going to lead to anything good...

  3. #13
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    Sorry bro, but i have to ask -

    Were any of those other guys on social media US (or German or whatever) citizens of similar financial status as you?

  4. #14
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    Thanks to everyone for taking your time to respond. I have been doing no contact for 5 days, yesterday she emailed me at 1 in the morning and said this has been much harder than she thought it would be, that she really really likes me as a person, but that we wouldent last long as a couple.

    She knows without a doubt I really do love her, and I will do anything for her. So how can she possibly think I could be her friend? Every time I go no contact she texts me first within a few days. After no contact last week she said she misses me out of nowhere.

    I am sure she used me for money. I sent her every week the amount she earns working at her job in Brazil each month. I doubt that she used me for a US visa, because the only way for her to live here legally is if we marry 90 days after she arrives in the country, otherwise the visa is useless.

    Yes my daughter is from a previous relationship. I have full custody of her. I have always taken care of her financial needs first and foremost, even when I was in Brazil. That's part of what kills me so much, that I gave everything I have to make this relationship happen. I only had the stength to travel to Brazil so many times because I thought the 3 of us could be a family when my ex arrived in the US, making it all worth it. What a mistake. My ex even talked to my daughter frequently in video calls and sent her gifts.

    I will just try to shift my focus on the good things I still have in my life and go no contact, and assume I will never see her again and try to heal. But everytime I ignore her for a few days she contacts me randomly, and it hurts all over again.

    The sadness I am feeling is brutal. The good memories I have with her are making me uncontrollably sad.

    Thanks sincererly again to everyone that responded, reading the thoughts of others outside of my situation I think has helped my change my perspective

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  6. #15
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    Think of this when you insist you "can't" block her:
    "The sadness I am feeling is brutal. The good memories I have with her are making me uncontrollably sad."

    Then block her from contacting you. Do you want to be "uncontrollably sad" around your child?

  7. #16
    Silver Member Camber 2019's Avatar
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    DMK... If you ever feel like you just HAVE to contact her, post here instead, or send us a PM. We will help you thought it!

  8. #17
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    NEVER send anyone money! If people ask you for money straight away you must know they are using and scamming you! Nobody who is decent and truly loves you for real reasons would be asking for money. It's as simple as that. If anyone asks for money, whether they be overseas or in your own city, they are up to no good. Even when I was in between jobs, if I was dating someone I wouldn't have asked for money because I'm a decent person who doesn't want to rip people off. It's a serious warning sign which you ignored!

  9. #18
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    A lot of times they don't come right out and ask for money. First they hook their target with "I love you!!!" and promises of a future. Then they start the sad sack stories. Oh, I am about to be evicted! My heat is being turned off tomorrow! My mother needs a kidney transplant! I haven't eaten in 2 days! Then they sit back and wait to see which of their marks will take the bait.

    I'm willing to bet the OP believes he offered money because he loves her and wants to "help". These scammers are so good they get their targets to believe it was their own idea to send money.

    But I agree...NEVER send money.

  10. #19
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Here's a good way to get her to stop contacting you with crumbs like "I miss you" that mean NOTHING.

    Tell her that you want her to repay the money you gave her for the plane fare to Rio since she's reneged on the reason to give her that money. I'm pretty sure she'll quickly disappear and stop tormenting you with empty platitudes.

  11. #20
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Dmk1986e


    Yes my daughter is from a previous relationship. I have full custody of her. I have always taken care of her financial needs first and foremost, even when I was in Brazil.
    Financial needs of a child you have full custody of? So you phoned in the rest? You mentioned several times you were willing to move to Brazil. How does that benefit your daughter?

    I am sorry all this has happened but you need to take some responsibility here. You let this go on too long and you seem to have lost control over this. I get it hurts right now, but you need to buck up and straighten up at some point. You have a daughter who needs you and you can't be falling apart over a woman who yanked your chain and took your money.

    The isn't going to change and you aren't going to have the fairy tale you were hoped for.

    So the quickest way to the other side is block her entirely. No more checking her instagram and no more emails.
    And I suspect everyone that tells you she will contact you aren't telling you that to make you hopeful. It comes as a warning.
    She will contact you. She loves the money and the attention. Time to stop the crazy train and get your life back.

    If you can't do it for yourself, do it for your daughter.

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