Should I go to his house party??? Please help.

Hi Everyone,

I have always been hanging out with a guy friend for a whilealmost every week. Now he is inviting me over to his house for the first timeto his house potluck party from dinner time to 12 a.m. as his parents are out of town. My guy friend said that he can give me a rideto his place in the afternoon and then ask his single guy friend to drop me offto my house after the party so that the guy will have more chances to talk to me.He said the guy friend is willing to drop me off my house after the party eventhough it’s out of his way. Also, my friend is out of the way to pick me upalso. I think in the house party, if we both are interested in each other wecan already have a good conversation at the party and we don’t necessary needto be in the same car together to have a good conversation. Don’t you think?

Also, I do not know any of his friends who will be attendingthe house party. I don’t even know the guy either. Do you think it is weird forme to attend his house party if I don’t know anyone there? Do you think Ishould attend his house party? Do you think it’s safe? If I should go, do you think it’s more saferfor me to drive to his house party instead of him and his single friend givingme a ride?

I even told him that if he does wants to truly introduce meto a guy friend to me, we can just exchange number first, message each otherand see how it goes. We can arrange a private meetup later. Then my frienddoesn’t support that idea.

What do you think about this situation?

After I gave him another option that I can drive theremyself to his house party, he quickly said you can meet him at my badmintonevent as if he doesn’t want me to join his house party anymore. I have already toldhim a while back that I don’t want to go to his weekly badminton event as theyall play very late at 9:30 p.m. I wouldthink that by meeting that single guy at badminton it will be even harder totalk as we play more than talk. Don’t you think? What do you think is in hismind?

One time when he drove me to his neighbourhood for hiking, Isuddenly said I need to go to washroom. Even though we plan to go to bubble teaafter hiking, he quickly told me I can go to his house for washroom. I amshocked as I can easily find a washroom at the bubble tea place. Then he saidbubble tea washroom is probably more dirty than the washroom in his house.

What do you think about this? Do you even think it is safefor me to go to his house alone? What do you think his plans are?

Thank you very much for your help.

All this bubble tea talk suggests you don’t drink alcohol and therefore there is no reason for you to accept a lift to or from a party. Since you drive.

Tell him you will drive to the party and last minute cancel for a made up reason, make it sound legit.

He will be very ok with it if he is a genuine friend. Which he doesn’t really sound genuine so far by suggesting you take a lift home with someone you have never met.

Why don't you take friends with you? And, you should drive yourself.

You seem to overthink and make things more complicated than they need to be- read previous threads.

How old are you?

Make sure you have a ride home. Do not leave your drink unattended. Take a friend or someone you can trust. Make sure your phone is charged and people will know where you are.

The party starts at midnight?

 

Why don't you take friends with you? And, you should drive yourself.

 

You seem to overthink and make things more complicated than they need to be- read previous threads.

“first timeto his house potluck party from dinner time to 12 a.m.”

Ends at midnight.

“first timeto his house potluck party from dinner time to 12 a.m.”

 

Ends at midnight.

Thanks. I reread and deleted that bit.

You have a lot of questions for this party. Based on that alone, don't agree to the circumstances currently. Drive yourself there, drive yourself back. Don't stay until midnight and check out when you want to go home on your own.

I would not hang around or intend to talk to anyone at or after a house party. That just translates to sex. You know that. House parties are meant to be lighthearted, mindless, fun and you should be among people you obviously trust or friends of friends you can trust. Take the blinders off and don't stoop to that level if casual sex with random men aren't for you and do not get into anyone's car or agree to any man dropping you off whom you do not know or trust.

Thank you all very much for all your quick reply. So you think I should still attend the house party even though I know no one at the party? Thanks.

Take a friend.

This is your best course of action here. And bring your phone, let people know the address/names and do not leave drinks unattended. Have fun. Relax.

Take a friend.

Thank you all very much for all your quick reply. So you think I should still attend the house party even though I know no one at the party? Thanks.

You can take a friend with you or simply be independent and smart about it. Take your own car, limit your drinks or do not drink at all, do not drive drunk and make sure you leave at a decent hour. Do not take anyone you've just met at the party in your car and don't give anyone any rides home.

It's a party right? Ask if you can bring a friend. I have never met a guy who won't let new girls come to a party.

Drive yourself.

Have fun.

If he says no you can't bring a friend then maybe I wouldn't go or I'd go early & leave by 9. you don't want to end up being the only one in the house with him. I suspect you are worried that you won't have anybody to talk to &/or that this invitation is really a request to Netflix & Chill.

Sounds to me you feel things are kinda sketchy. IMO if it doesn't feel right, then it's not. If you do attend this party, I agree you should bring a friend, and drive yourself there.