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Thread: CanÂ’t have date night at home

  1. #1

    CanÂ’t have date night at home

    Hi,

    I live in a 3 bedroom apartment with my wife of 5 years and her 13 yr old son.

    Issue is my wife wonÂ’t have date night at home (which consists of a candle lit dinner and a glass of wine in the dinning room for about an 1 hour) whilst her son is home. Her brief reasoning is she is concerned about her son having to be in his room for the duration. At no point did ask or insist in away that we lock him away in his room. My gut feeling is it just does sit well with me.

    Appreciate thoughts and or similar experiences.

  2. #2
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    Seems like she might feel uncomfortable being romantic in front of her son, maybe even more because he is now a teenager.
    For some people, including my own mother, it is hard to show romantic emotions in front of her children. My mom never once has kissed her husband of 16 years in front of me. One time I came into the living room and they were hugging (just a hug, nothing more) and she immediately pulled away. Another reason might be that she doesn't want her son to feel ''left out''. Would it be possible to go all together for lunch or something that involves him and after that have date night?
    I truly get how this situation might be frustrating for you, but this stage at the beginning of teenage years does get very akward between parents and kids. Thankfully it is over fast. You might even miss your step son once he's gone, I know I miss my step dad now that I'm married (and still mom won't show any form of PDA in front of me -.-).
    Good luck!

  3. #3
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    On the contrary, why can't you guys just close the dining room door and have your romantic meal while your step son has the rest of the apartment to roam around in? If not, then most teenagers will happily take themselves out somewhere if their parents give them a little cash.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    It is odd that you would have a romantic dinner with her son right in the next room.

    Why not to take her somewhere special? Do you not want to splurge a bit and go to a nice restaurant?

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  6. #5
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    Since he is 13 I would do the following - go out when he is in school or at an activity -it doesn't have to be for a meal - go out for a walk, a jog, or a coffee or glass of wine at a local place for an hour and hold hands, etc. I would think many 13 year olds can be on their own for an hour but I don't know of your situation. We talk privately and hang out almost every night while our ten year old son is sleeping -not a date at all but we do have privacy. I also happen to think it's good for kids to know their parents have a private relationship too, and for parents to be affectionate in front of their children.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Why can't you go out on date night?
    Originally Posted by Potofgold

    I live in a 3 bedroom apartment with my wife of 5 years and her 13 yr old son.

    Issue is my wife wonÂ’t have date night at home

  8. #7
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    I get it, date nights are important as a couple, BUT it's awfully awkward to have a teenage son there in the next room....so it's not concerning, I would say it's normal to feel that way about it. He's 13, he must have a friend where he can have a sleep over, or at least hang out for the evening. Drop him and his buddy off at the movies or something.

  9. #8
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    Why don’t you just arrange the sons friend have a buddy over for a sleep over and offer to order their fav food and snacks in for them.
    In the meantime , cook a nice dinner for your wife, pour her a glass of wine and light a candle.
    It’s pretty much guaranteed the boys will want to be playing computer games or whatever and won’t come near the adults for a few hrs never mind one.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    She believes that it would be rude for the two of you to make a fancy dinner in front of her son, then tell him that he needs to go elsewhere. And she’s right. Why are you incapable of scheduling a dinner together when son is with his father, grandparents, or at a friend’s house?

  11. #10
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    You have to pick your battles and this is such a minor issue, since there are so many alternatives to romantic time alone. Have the candlelit dinner on your bed, with music playing in the background. It's not like you have a child in elementary school who would be knocking on the door every 5 seconds.

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