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Thread: CanÂ’t have date night at home

  1. #21
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Camber 2019
    Why on earth would you want to do that with your son at home? Either:
    1) Go out
    2) Do it when he is not home
    3) Eat as a family

    I think one of the reasons for the demise of today's "family" is not eating together (DEVICE FREE).
    The request was for just one hour. Not a lifestyle change.

  2. #22
    Silver Member Camber 2019's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by reinventmyself
    The request was for just one hour. Not a lifestyle change.
    Still seems kind of strange to me. I would not get excited about a romantic dinner if my son was home "hiding"

  3. #23
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Perhaps what you think is "romantic", she thinks is selfish and cruel to her son? It's odd you can't come up with a better solution for date night such as the child staying with friends/family or getting a sitter and going out. So while you're sipping wine he's not allowed out of his room to use the bathroom? What are you two thinking? Wait until the child is with family friends for a night/weekend.
    Originally Posted by Potofgold
    I live in a 3 bedroom apartment with my wife of 5 years and her 13 yr old son.

    Issue is my wife won't have date night at home which consists of a candle lit dinner and a glass of wine in the dinning room for about an 1 hour whilst her son is home. Her brief reasoning is she is concerned about her son having to be in his room for the duration.

  4. #24
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Camber 2019
    Still seems kind of strange to me. I would not get excited about a romantic dinner if my son was home "hiding"
    I just go back to those times with 13 yr old's wandering around the house. A simple dinner on the patio for one hour wouldn't even have registered on their radar.

    She is married to this man. She should be able to prioritize her husband for a small period of time.

    There is no banning children to their room or asking them to hide. It's not like he's 4.
    He's likely playing video games with his friends anyway.

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  6. #25
    Silver Member Camber 2019's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by reinventmyself
    I just go back to those times with 13 yr old's wandering around the house. A simple dinner on the patio for one hour wouldn't even have registered on their radar.

    She is married to this man. She should be able to prioritize her husband for a small period of time.

    There is no banning children to their room or asking them to hide. It's not like he's 4.
    He's likely playing video games with his friends anyway.
    OK, I'll agree to disagree! Actually, that makes a great point for the disagreement between OP and his wife!!!

  7. #26
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Camber 2019
    OK, I'll agree to disagree! Actually, that makes a great point for the disagreement between OP and his wife!!!
    Phew . . I was about to un-invite you

  8. #27
    Silver Member Camber 2019's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by reinventmyself
    Phew . . I was about to un-invite you
    No, it's all good! Constructive disagreement make the world go 'round!

  9. #28
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    Growing up, when my dad came home from work my parents had a routine, they'd sit outside for an hour or so while dinner was cooking. My dad has his gin and tonic and my mom, her vodka tonic. They would talk the entire time. Mostly my dad venting about his work day.

    My brother and I thought nothing of it. We were busy being kids, doing our homework or whatever.
    In hindsight, it set a good example of two adults prioritizing their relationship. Ultimately that makes kids feel secure.

  10. #29
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by reinventmyself
    Growing up, when my dad came home from work my parents had a routine, they'd sit outside for an hour or so while dinner was cooking. My dad has his gin and tonic and my mom, her vodka tonic. They would talk the entire time. Mostly my dad venting about his work day.

    My brother and I thought nothing of it. We were busy being kids, doing our homework or whatever.
    In hindsight, it set a good example of two adults prioritizing their relationship. Ultimately that makes kids feel secure.
    I think your family was rather unique in that way so it may seem normal to you, but to others, this wouldn't be normal at all.

  11. #30
    Platinum Member itsallgrand's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by reinventmyself
    Growing up, when my dad came home from work my parents had a routine, they'd sit outside for an hour or so while dinner was cooking. My dad has his gin and tonic and my mom, her vodka tonic. They would talk the entire time. Mostly my dad venting about his work day.

    My brother and I thought nothing of it. We were busy being kids, doing our homework or whatever.
    In hindsight, it set a good example of two adults prioritizing their relationship. Ultimately that makes kids feel secure.
    Same in my family. Also every Friday or Saturday we kids would go visit family or friends while mom and dad had a date night. Sundays were reserved for fun family time.
    Some of my cherished memories are times I'd see mom and dad cuddling or kissing ( child appropriate!) or playfully showing affection.
    I felt safe, happy that my parents loved each other so much.

    Yes, every family is different. But I don't find it strange if there's some time just for the couple sometimes in the home.

    For whatever her reasons, OPs wife doesn't seem keen on the idea. That's ok too... hopefully some time together as a couple is happening though. There's lots of ways to do it.

    Are you getting that time in your marriage, OP?

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