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Thread: Outside information about my in-laws

  1. #11
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    Originally Posted by melancholy123
    Is this person known to exaggerate? My SIL told whopper lies about me to anyone who would listen and some of them caused me a lot of grief. I have nothing to do with her now. So, this is why I wonder if you can believe what this cousin said.
    No, his cousin is not an exaggerator. She is the cousin that his dad never spoke to again after our wedding because she had the ď nerveĒ to get drunk.

    Keep in mind my FIL threw me and my son out on Christmas Day because my son at 2.5 months old had the unmitigated gall to cry at night.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    Ok, thanks for the explanation. I dont think you should tell your husband what this person said, no good will come from it.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    My husband also suffered extreme emotional and physical abuse by his father and was once thrown out of a two story window into a snow drift. He hasn't spoken to his father since he was in his early twenties. Even though his mother allowed the abuse, my husband still loves her. She even allowed his father back into the home after he was released from jail after sexually abusing his own stepdaughter.

    My husband told me the highlights of the abuse but of course doesn't like to talk about those things. His older half-sister, who doesn't speak to the mother, was visiting us and started talking about all the horrific things, such horrendous things I didn't know since my husband was younger and probably didn't recall, but he asked her to change the topic.

    If that'd been my mother, I think I'd be like his sister and want nothing to do with her, but every person is different in how they feel and process things and perhaps choose to let the good outweigh the bad, even thought the bad was REALLY bad.

    I go with him to see his mother and stepfather occasionally, and luckily the times are usually brief, since I can't stand someone who neglected the man I love and his siblings so horribly.

    So my opinion is that if he didn't mention something, then he doesn't want to talk about it, so why rehash the difficult past?

  4. #14
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    I would remain mum. It sounds like she's a pot stirrer.

    Keep moving forward. No sense dredging up past dirt.

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  6. #15
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Andrina
    My husband also suffered extreme emotional and physical abuse by his father and was once thrown out of a two story window into a snow drift. He hasn't spoken to his father since he was in his early twenties. Even though his mother allowed the abuse, my husband still loves her. She even allowed his father back into the home after he was released from jail after sexually abusing his own stepdaughter.

    My husband told me the highlights of the abuse but of course doesn't like to talk about those things. His older half-sister, who doesn't speak to the mother, was visiting us and started talking about all the horrific things, such horrendous things I didn't know since my husband was younger and probably didn't recall, but he asked her to change the topic.

    If that'd been my mother, I think I'd be like his sister and want nothing to do with her, but every person is different in how they feel and process things and perhaps choose to let the good outweigh the bad, even thought the bad was REALLY bad.

    I go with him to see his mother and stepfather occasionally, and luckily the times are usually brief, since I can't stand someone who neglected the man I love and his siblings so horribly.

    So my opinion is that if he didn't mention something, then he doesn't want to talk about it, so why rehash the difficult past?
    About 7 years ago my counsellor told me he would probably only deal with that aspect of it after his parentsí death or never. He is in deep denial at least outwardly. That is how he deals with things , deny they exist. He has even seen his dad mistreat me and his son like shyte and he outright denied it happened. He has listened to his dad milegne my parents IN FRONT OF ME and denied he said it. He even did a monumental speech about what awesome parents they were at their anniversary. It was all I could not to roll my eyes.

  7. #16
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Cherylyn
    I would remain mum. It sounds like she's a pot stirrer.

    Keep moving forward. No sense dredging up past dirt.
    I think she is expressing her pain after 30 years. Her Uncle would not allow her in his house or even MY HOUSE for 24 years .

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