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Thread: help me figure this out...

  1. #1

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    help me figure this out...

    I was facetiming my gf because right now we are doing a long distance relationship due to work... have been doing it exactly 1 year...Total of a 4.5 yr relationship


    anyway during facetime, I get a text message from a random number, from a different state, that says "your gf is cheating on you" "she's on dating websites and has you in her pictures"

    then this person gives details about a picture which exists and one would have to know about it to be familiar with the details. This picture is not on my facebook but it is in her facebook.



    the person's text message continues and says, "she's been cheating on you for a long time"

    I repeatedly ask who's this, who's this... no answer and that was the end of it.



    This was some sort of burner number (completely random from texas).

    what are your thoughts

  2. #2
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by ourdanny
    I was facetiming my gf because right now we are doing a long distance relationship due to work... have been doing it exactly 1 year...Total of a 4.5 yr relationship


    anyway during facetime, I get a text message from a random number, from a different state, that says "your gf is cheating on you" "she's on dating websites and has you in her pictures"

    then this person gives details about a picture which exists and one would have to know about it to be familiar with the details. This picture is not on my facebook but it is in her facebook.



    the person's text message continues and says, "she's been cheating on you for a long time"

    I repeatedly ask who's this, who's this... no answer and that was the end of it.



    This was some sort of burner (completely random from texas).

    what are your thoughts
    I take it neither of you are in texas?

  3. #3

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    no neither of us are from texas and don't know anyone in texas. seems like a burner phone number

  4. #4
    Platinum Member j.man's Avatar
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    Well, it's your 4+ years with her to assess whether you trust her over a rando whose only evidence is a description of a photo she's got on facebook. Why not... I don't know... the actual URL to her profile? Or even just a user name for whichever dating site(s)? Really any decent information at all?

    A lot of petty folks who'd be happy to get the boat rocking in hopes of getting called in from the sidelines. This sounds like a pretty textbook example of it. But again, maybe there's a history or current situation where you'd know better than me.

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  6. #5

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    I did not think that angle before. I do have guy "friends" who definitely might be jealous and have mentioned that i'm a lucky guy etc. I've never had any reason to ever suspect she would cheat on me.

    very helpful to get other viewpoints, thank you

  7. #6
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Oh dear. I'd speak with your gf about it and be careful of your tone. Unfortunately both my husband and I have been in your shoes. We both had people from our past try to meddle with our relationship but the content wasn't about cheating. It was more defamatory information. He had an overconcerned ex who couldn't let go (not his ex-wife, another woman) and I was seeing someone years ago who decided to pop out of the woodwork. Regardless of what it is be level and even when you try bringing it up with her and don't fly off the handle or start accusing her of anything.

    If your relationship is strong and there's trust and a lot of good there, you won't have anything to fear. It'll speak for itself whether it lasts or not. I hope you find peace of mind and don't be afraid or too upset.

  8. #7
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    So basically anyone that can view your gfs fb could have described that picture.

    And why on earth would anyone use a picture with tgeir bf in it on a dating website anyway lol

    Sounds more to me like someone who knows your gf is jealous of her. Probably a female.

    Tell your gf that you think someone is jealous of her and trying to sabotage her relationship. Because you never know , the same person might message her saying the same about you if plan A backfires.

  9. #8
    Gold Member Gary Snyder's Avatar
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    Women who have integrity and who are in love don't cheat.

  10. #9
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    I have seen this scenario play out both ways, to be honest.

    In one case, it was someone who'd been rejected by a woman I know, so he proceeded to try to stir up trouble between her and her partner by claiming she was cheating. She wasn't.

    However, I also am friends with a woman who was on the receiving end of a such a cryptic social media message about her long-term boyfriend. Turns out it was the tip of the iceberg with this guy. A little more digging revealed a lot she didn't know about him.

    Has your girlfriend ever given you reason not to trust her? I would let her know what happened, and see what she says. Don't come at her with accusations; show her the messages you got and let her fill in the blanks. Her reaction will likely help you determine if this the work of a jealous meddler or if there is some kernel of truth to it.

  11. #10
    Silver Member Camber 2019's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by MissCanuck
    I would let her know what happened, and see what she says. Don't come at her with accusations; show her the messages you got and let her fill in the blanks. Her reaction will likely help you determine if this the work of a jealous meddler or if there is some kernel of truth to it.
    I agree. It's definitely something you need to let her know about. But, as MC said, don't come at her in an accusatory way. Just tell her you can't believe the message(s) you received, and see what her reaction is. Don't suggest anything, wait to see what she has to say...

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