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Thread: Want to elope with fiancé- scared of family’s reaction

  1. #1

    Want to elope with fiancé- scared of family’s reaction

    nevermind. I didn’t realize everyone on this forum was negative and mean
    Last edited by Avvril3000; 10-21-2019 at 07:02 PM. Reason: Updating

  2. #2
    Platinum Member j.man's Avatar
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    I don't understand how they have this level of control over you. Why not "no?" Are they financially contributing?

  3. #3
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    Honestly, I think you should not get married period - yet, until you find a way personally where you can advocate for yourself. Because you need to if you plan to have a family of your own.
    I have a food allergy that I could potential die from. Would i eat something to "not appear rude". I would say "thank you so much for making the beautiful cake" and serve it to your guests and if someone asks why you are not eating it say, "oh i have celiac disease - that means i get sick from eating anything with wheat in it". I don't eat ANYTHING where the ingredient could be potentially have been slipped in (ie, one variation of a recipe includes it). So i make sure i am not hungry - i eat before i go - not so i am stuffed so i won't eat anything at a party, but enough if i am limited on what i can eat, i won't get a headache or my stomach won't growl.

    And your mom "forcing" you to wear high heels? What about "thanks for the suggestion mom, but i like these shoes, better".

    I think you should have a wedding - if you want one in a church, do it, but just have a wedding where you and your fiance pay for it so no one else has a say.

    The cake was something nice someone decided to do for you - so you should have not taken it as an affront and politely accepted it, even if you couldn't eat it -- your guests could.

  4. #4
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    What is this supposed to mean? >>> nevermind. I didn’t realize everyone on this forum was negative and mean

    Really? Not every person here is mean. People simply have different opinions and different ways of expressing their thoughts, that's all. Some more tactful that others; some right to the point. Don't let the "mean" people get to you.

    Although I didn't get a chance to read your post, your title was enough for me to understand why you would be fearful of your family's reaction. I imagine they would be upset with your decision to elope.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    There were zero "mean" replies in this three reply thread. SMH

  7. #6
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    Originally Posted by ThatwasThen
    There were zero "mean" replies in this three reply thread. SMH
    If telling you that you have to learn to have a voice and stand up for yourself - to come into your own before doing a very adult thing like getting married is mean - then i guess i'm a meanie. If you don't find a way to say no now, your family or even eventually your husband will just continue to mow over you for the rest of your life.

    What did you want us to say? Give you permission to elope and then come home to the same problems? Families can pull marriages apart. My ex's family was unhappy that he married because it limited their constant access to him in a way. They would do everything to encroach on our lives and did not respect our marriage. So if you want to get divorced when your husband gets tired of your mom dictating on how you should parent or not being able to make a decision without mom butting in, then get married now.

    Or if you like the dynamic about mom or whomever telling you what to do, stop whining about it --- or do something about it. The choice is yours


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