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Thread: Does he like me? Does he like me not?

  1. #11
    Bronze Member
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    Either he is really shy or he texts you just for fun or because he is bored. If you like him, ask him if he wants to do something, it's not a big deal.

  2. #12
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    The only way you know he's making eye contact is that you are making eye contact to see him doing that. It's a stare down royal rumble. And the only way you would keep a tally is that you are interested in him. If you want to sit back, and never approach, then you were born in the wrong generation. Those passive days of wasn't-really-interested-in-case-he-isn't-interested loopholes are gone for women. Just scan through this section of the forum to see the number of guys analyzing "eye contact" but doing nothing.

    Texting isn't always the best as the only communication. If your opinion is that you always want a guy to approach or your ego can't take any type of invitation decline, then this isn't the guy for you. Move on.

    Otherwise, you already have his contact info, you apparently go to the same events, you can suggest meeting at one of them. Or suggest that is always too crowded or busy at the events so there's never a chance to talk, meeting to grab a coffee would be great. If he agrees, nice. If he doesn't agree or stalls, then you still have an answer.

  3. #13
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    Hey guys

    Thanks so much for all the good advice!

    I should've clarified this in the original post

    1. Yes I do like him a lot
    2. I've conveyed my interest and suggested doing something but he didn't pick up on it. There have been times when he mentioned he's doing something that sounds like an invitation and I was too dumb to realise until after the fact
    3. I'm a pretty shy woman so it's hard for me to ask someone straight out. I'm working on it! And I think he's pretty shy too
    4. We're both in our late 20s and have had a bit of baggage in our last relationship
    5. I just found out he's moving to another state many hours away very soon

  4. #14
    Bronze Member MirrorKnight's Avatar
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    It can be painfully awkward for two shy people to get together, so I disagree with the simple "if he is interested he would have asked you out already" assessment.

    That said, I am also not saying that he is definitely into you. People are different, I've met shy girls who steal a glance, blush and look away, when they are interested in somebody, and would never initiate contact, which can be misinterpreted as disinterest. I have also met girls who practically behave like a girlfriend, when they have no interest in the guy. I'm sure guys are the same.

    5. I just found out he's moving to another state many hours away very soon
    I'm afraid this changes everything. Not saying that long distance definitely cannot work, but you certainly should not try to start a relationship long distance.

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Ok then let it go and consider it friendly banter. It's best not to pursue uninterested people. Now you're free to get serious about dating again and put effort into it.
    Originally Posted by WAlien
    I've conveyed my interest and suggested doing something but he didn't pick up on it. I just found out he's moving to another state many hours away very soon

  7. #16
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    Originally Posted by MirrorKnight
    It can be painfully awkward for two shy people to get together, so I disagree with the simple "if he is interested he would have asked you out already" assessment.

    That said, I am also not saying that he is definitely into you. People are different, I've met shy girls who steal a glance, blush and look away, when they are interested in somebody, and would never initiate contact, which can be misinterpreted as disinterest. I have also met girls who practically behave like a girlfriend, when they have no interest in the guy. I'm sure guys are the same.



    I'm afraid this changes everything. Not saying that long distance definitely cannot work, but you certainly should not try to start a relationship long distance.
    Yes it's hard to be shy and date -my husband can attest to that from the past as he was painfully shy especially around women. Certainly if a woman is comfortable dating someone who is so shy that even after a woman shows interest he will not ask her to lunch or something casual, etc(especially these days with texting/emailing -in the mid 1990s my future husband had to call me on my work phone to ask me to lunch) -then that woman would be a good match for that man because that woman would be comfortable doing most of the asking out, initiating dates, etc. Some people like that - sometimes because there's more of a sense of control or being the initiator is a turn on in some way. For most women it doesn't work well if the shyness is that extreme that the man won't respond to a woman showing interest by asking her to hang out, have a date, have ice cream. And, in many cases I was asked out by really shy men after showing no interest (my husband says I did show interest, I didn't think I was on that particular day lol). People move towards pleasure and away from pain - they do really awkward things, really hard things, if the benefits outweigh the risks. I've had to do those things many many times including in dating.

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