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Thread: My life is a mess

  1. #11
    Gold Member Gary Snyder's Avatar
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    I am sorry you lost a family member. You are all over the place and should seek counseling. Take care.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    All you can do is take better care of the depression with better consistent treatment and follow up. And of course next time be yourself and be forthcoming with people. Enlist the help and support from friends, family support groups etc until you have the mood disorder and lying under control. Sabotaging yourself is a self-exacerbating situation, so it's time to reverse that.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member musicman777's Avatar
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    Whoa, man. First of all... I sympathize hugely for what you went through with your brother. I lost my mom last year, preceded by deteriorating health ailments. Death is a horrible thing to go through, and of course that is something that can affect how you think and interact with people around you.

    On the other hand. I am just baffled as to how you could have had a relationship for TWO YEARS with this woman and never told her about your kids! Hasn't she stayed at your place? Noticed a room, or toys (assuming the one you visit is young), or seen family photos around? I mean, this all sounds very fishy to me how you could have kept it a big secret for that long. It really sounds like a big ruse. Unless you were inviting her to some secret place/apartment that you never take your kid to. Even so, that makes it even worse. Your kids are part of your life, and (supposed to be) your pride and joy. That's something that should have come up on the first date. I feel bad for not only this woman, but your kids as well.

    I read your other comments, that you didn't tell her in fear she would not be interested in dating you. Well, guess what? That's peoples right to not wanna date someone with kids if they don't want (assuming she wouldn't have wanted to). You essentially built your entire relationship on a lie. I'm personally very iffy about dating women with children already (although something I may have to compromise on considering I'm almost 30 now). I think, relationships can be challenging enough without children involved. Also, I just, if I meet that right person... I wanna part of that experience of that woman giving birth to our first child. It's more special. Our first kid, born out of love. I don't wanna be number two or three on the list. But, I'm just giving you my thoughts on the subject, and how other people may think about it.

    You sound like you're not that bad of a guy by the way you write and how sympathetic you are to the situation. What you did, it's not as heinous as say, cheating on someone. But, you did form your relationship on deceit. You need to forget about this woman and accept this is 100% over. No more letters, no calls, no facebooks. If you care about her, you'll leave her alone. Take some time to heal and next time if you decide to date again, be upfront about your life.

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