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Thread: My boyfriend (now ex) broke up with me today after I accused him of cheating

  1. #21
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    The best thing to do would be to let it go now. At first I thought you found a used condom but I'm getting the idea it was unopened. Let this go. In the big picture, it's not so bad. He practices safe sex (hopefully). That's a good thing for you. He's called it off so keep focusing on your own life and meet new people.

  2. #22
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Spucky
    For love you need tolerance
    Words of wisdom.

  3. #23
    Member Spucky's Avatar
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    Part where he assures her "everything is okay" and then drops a bomb, and it sucked even more cause he dropped it when she had some important to do is escaping my mind.

    Why would you say something is okay if it's evidently not. Why wait few days to deliver the death blow? Did he just trying to think how to prepare her for that? Phone breakup is what he came up with? I can understand he's an idiot like that cause I felt that on my own skin so people like that exist but come on ...

    1. he's not girl, and girls emotions are usually more complex then males which usually makes girls "confused"
    2. Condoms is what spices the whole thing up cause basically HE IS MAKING A BIG DEAL OUT OF NOTHING.

    I hope he's just immature , indecisive and something in those lines ... I respect that you love the man and want to be with him I want that for you but as female can speak about female from experience I have a right to say that his role of what would for me be normal male behavior - he sucks. Don't be fleeing bro we just dont run, dont be opscure ... when we had to hunt zebras n then we had no time to be such bit**s. uh

    She cannot just let go because she LOVES him. She said so ...
    But she needs to see that this is not something that should trigger a breakup and needs to be resolved.

  4. #24
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    So. Women are easily confused due to their complex emotions?

  5.  

  6. #25
    Member Spucky's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by reinventmyself
    So. Women are easily confused due to their complex emotions?
    I can easily describe what I'm thinking and I can provide real life arguments probably could find some scientific ones also.

    Basically, if you look at how emotions and rationale is handled in ones brain, woman's brain could have been seen as a big bowl of interconnected strings. Every experience subconcious or concious is somehow connected, ergo effects other parts which in return inevitably effects decisions made.

    Male brain can be described more like garage full of boxes, conciously or subconciously experiences will be sorted and categorized and decision making will be affected in order of affairs depending on which box or boxes is currently active.

    That's why in general we tend to think woman emotions are more complex. It's not some urban legend, it's the truth.

    Sadly, this biological gift girls got backfires more and more. I think society and culture have a lot to do with it. Even tho' it seems we are so strong on forcing "man be a woman and woman be a man" thing, it's sadly not based on partnership but on some sadistic point scoring who "can do better". Dating scene was never so broken.

    Females, like it or not are basically "wired" to be "hunted" or "chased" and males are basically "wired" to do the chasing. But, as gender roles are changing, things that are wired in us cannot be achieved, cannot be fully crystallized.

    Guy who had these kind of ty excuses and did drama over his girls drama 50 years ago would be looked upon as an ass, loser, nip cause that's just not the way to behave with someone who's your friend and also your girl.

  7. #26
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Spucky
    I can easily describe what I'm thinking and I can provide real life arguments probably could find some scientific ones also.

    Basically, if you look at how emotions and rationale is handled in ones brain, woman's brain could have been seen as a big bowl of interconnected strings. Every experience subconcious or concious is somehow connected, ergo effects other parts which in return inevitably effects decisions made.

    Male brain can be described more like garage full of boxes, conciously or subconciously experiences will be sorted and categorized and decision making will be affected in order of affairs depending on which box or boxes is currently active.

    That's why in general we tend to think woman emotions are more complex. It's not some urban legend, it's the truth.

    Sadly, this biological gift girls got backfires more and more. I think society and culture have a lot to do with it. Even tho' it seems we are so strong on forcing "man be a woman and woman be a man" thing, it's sadly not based on partnership but on some sadistic point scoring who "can do better". Dating scene was never so broken.

    Females, like it or not are basically "wired" to be "hunted" or "chased" and males are basically "wired" to do the chasing. But, as gender roles are changing, things that are wired in us cannot be achieved, cannot be fully crystallized.

    Guy who had these kind of ty excuses and did drama over his girls drama 50 years ago would be looked upon as an ass, loser, nip cause that's just not the way to behave with someone who's your friend and also your girl.
    How old are you? And you're single, I'll assume ?

  8. #27
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by reinventmyself
    How old are you? And you're single, I'll assume ?
    I must say, Iím not getting whatís so offensive about what heís saying.

    While I wouldnít phrase it the way he is, I think at its core heís saying dating today is bass aackwards because individuals are acting in ways that does not come naturally to them.

    Iím not even saying it has anything to do with the X or Y cheomosome or any of that, Im just saying letís call a spade a spade, how often a day do we see on this board men and women attempting not backdoor their way into relationships through deception, by doing things that are not natural for them like trying to be Ďfriendsí or leading with Ďsexí and then the male or female object of admiration becomes a tease or a user when it was the individual to begin with who was attempting to deceive.

    Itís unfortunate but dating can be rough.

    #nofeelings

    When we are emotional beings

    Men too.

    Where we deviate greatly is society is at fault but not for not necessarily embracing male/female archetype, but stifling people being who they are due to expectations, itís much more acceptable to have masculine attributes than feminine.

    Femininity unfortunately is still seen as weakness, so while I can acknowledge men and women think differently, I wouldnít devalue men so much as to think their minds are simplistic, different yes, but complex nontheless. Itís just fretting is seen as feminine so society tends to force men to eat their emotions, doesnít mean they arenít there or that they donít exist spunky, just that, that pesky male/female agenda youíre so against is actually working against you.

    Male female we are who we are and I agree we should embrace it, embrace what our inner selves are telling us who we are, not TV or social media. At our core we are driven by instincts but unlike other animals we have a brain that makes us quite unique, where our instincts are only a small part of the puzzle.

  9. #28
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    OP, again - what was his explanation for the condom?

    We can't give you much meaningful advice if you avoid answering the basic questions.

  10. #29
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by figureitout23
    I must say, Iím not getting whatís so offensive about what heís saying.

    While I wouldnít phrase it the way he is, I think at its core heís saying dating today is bass aackwards because individuals are acting in ways that does not come naturally to them.

    Iím not even saying it has anything to do with the X or Y cheomosome or any of that, Im just saying letís call a spade a spade, how often a day do we see on this board men and women attempting not backdoor their way into relationships through deception, by doing things that are not natural for them like trying to be Ďfriendsí or leading with Ďsexí and then the male or female object of admiration becomes a tease or a user when it was the individual to begin with who was attempting to deceive.

    Itís unfortunate but dating can be rough.

    #nofeelings

    When we are emotional beings

    Men too.

    Where we deviate greatly is society is at fault but not for not necessarily embracing male/female archetype, but stifling people being who they are due to expectations, itís much more acceptable to have masculine attributes than feminine.

    Femininity unfortunately is still seen as weakness, so while I can acknowledge men and women think differently, I wouldnít devalue men so much as to think their minds are simplistic, different yes, but complex nontheless. Itís just fretting is seen as feminine so society tends to force men to eat their emotions, doesnít mean they arenít there or that they donít exist spunky, just that, that pesky male/female agenda youíre so against is actually working against you.

    Male female we are who we are and I agree we should embrace it, embrace what our inner selves are telling us who we are, not TV or social media. At our core we are driven by instincts but unlike other animals we have a brain that makes us quite unique, where our instincts are only a small part of the puzzle.
    I agree with most of it, but the part that due to this we must be `confused' (in quotes as he stated it)

  11. #30
    Member Spucky's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by reinventmyself
    How old are you? And you're single, I'll assume ?
    29. No. There are no bad guys and girls, just bad people but I just spit how I see it and what I feel have rational basis.

    EDIT: Also this female-male thing that happens needs balance up asap, gonna be big test for humanity, never before did both sex did such a lousy job to actually work together. Just look at it, most what males achive to get "partnership" is get new Porsche and put it on Instagram while female climbs popularity ladder that is imposed on her by doing 1000 selfies while wearing shovels of makeup to achieve "companionship" with - the owner of best Porsche.

    Mixed female-male groups of friends that gathered around something else then fuc**ing, drinking and smoking is rare today. I remember we would do all of that, but still respected each other, hanging out cause we actually were interested in each other, no one wanted to one up each other to get something they want, we would drive around, listen to hip hop and were happy. We were more concerned about where next party would be and how society is all messed up (politics, culture, wars). Girls would hide our weed cause cops would always search us guys and we would always pay up for girls cause well they are our girls why not treat them like ladies. We didn't have a need to compete on some virtual platform.

    Yes girls were still "confused" but you bet they were more loyal, concerned about how they gonna build up their life with SOMEONE, and they were always doing something that was useful.

    Yes guys were still emotional midgets in most cases, but as our only idols were dads and disney movies with flavor of some ghetto legends we at least had balls to be men with men qualities 0-24 not only when it serves us (today males wear pink and shave their armpits but on the outside they are all strong and heavy). We were not scared to be emotional and simple, to be natural. We didn't ask that our girl is Barbie girl neither they wanted us to be new Marlon Brando.

    Death, life, universe, music, paintings, politics, ups and downs, real things in life - most of these new fools don't even trip about it. It's all about money and the fame. Most of them shallow, bot men and woman.

    People nowadays snap instantly if something is off from how they see and feel things. We would talk everything no one getting offended cause respect was given cause we actually KNEW each other. And depended on each other.

    We were in fact like little tribe. And as this may sound primitive, it was miles from what we have today. We were 90's kids.
    Last edited by Spucky; 10-23-2019 at 09:01 PM.

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