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Thread: issues regarding relocation with boyfriend

  1. #51
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    Well I do not know but that is how people perceive him. I mean he is not a bad person overall but as long as he has his own little confort he does not really care about the other which is something he will have to work on in his relationship.

  2. #52
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    Originally Posted by lolo747
    Well I do not know but that is how people perceive him. I mean he is not a bad person overall but as long as he has his own little confort he does not really care about the other which is something he will have to work on in his relationship.
    You are just being naive. This man is not going to change for you or anyone else. Just cut out everything on this thread and read what you have written about him and wake up.

    Bottom Line: It's your life and if you choose to ignore the observations about this man and the advice you've been given then that isyour choice. I will give you one last bit of advice. Have a back up plan and your own bank account so you can escape if/when his self absorbed behaviour finally becomes too much for you to bear.

  3. #53
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    It sounds to me like he wants you to remain unemployed so he can berate you for being unemployed and for not fully contributing financially.

    My ex husband gave me a hard time for not working when he was the one who suggested I be a stay at home mom. So I got a job, but he complained about that too, saying I was "always stressed out". Reason was, he wanted to be able to both berate me and control me. He wanted to feel superior.

    Notice I wrote EX husband. That dynamic is unhealthy and not sustainable.

  4. #54
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    I can guarantee that his plan is not having me home to control me because he made it clear he does not want to support me financially. He wants me to have a job for me to be able to provide for myself which is good.

    I think it all comes down to selfishness. He wanted to sleep in so instead of me getting up at 6 and making noise (a bit of noise), he wanted me to stay in bed longer to not wake him up and do my own things later. It is all about him and his own confort. I definitely think he is cheap. I definitely do not need a man that pays me fancy stuff but being cheap on the food and counting how many piece of cheese or bread i ate, to me is a dealbreaker.

    It is always good to have other people's opinions as maybe I could overreact or have indeed to many expectactions.

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  6. #55
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    Originally Posted by lolo747
    I can guarantee that his plan is not having me home to control me because he made it clear he does not want to support me financially. He wants me to have a job for me to be able to provide for myself which is good.

    I think it all comes down to selfishness. He wanted to sleep in so instead of me getting up at 6 and making noise (a bit of noise), he wanted me to stay in bed longer to not wake him up and do my own things later. It is all about him and his own confort. I definitely think he is cheap. I definitely do not need a man that pays me fancy stuff but being cheap on the food and counting how many piece of cheese or bread i ate, to me is a dealbreaker.

    It is always good to have other people's opinions as maybe I could overreact or have indeed to many expectactions.
    He is only giving lipservice you working. My ex wanted me to work, but always also wanted me around, then told me i could not leave the house unless i made at least $400 every time i walked out the door and came back, so i couldn't take a low paying job and work my way up because we needed more than that. He may say he WANTS you to work. but he is putting every obstacle in your way. Controlling people never say "here's my plan..."

  7. #56
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    [QUOTE=abitbroken;7176958]He is only giving lipservice you working.

    You are right.

  8. #57
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    [QUOTE=lolo747;7177406]
    Originally Posted by abitbroken
    He is only giving lipservice you working.

    You are right.
    If he really wanted that, he would be tripping over himself to drive you to interviews even if you could take two bus connections so you arrive fresh and 15 minutes early - not having to walk 10 blocks from a bust stop to the interview and getting your hair windblown or someone bumping you on the bus and leaving a mark on your new shoes or a coffee stain or risking the bus being late. And to give you access to employers off the bus route. I lived in a public transportation city and i temped at a place that was a 30 minute walk after i got off the bus.

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