Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 4 of 7 FirstFirst 1234567 LastLast
Results 31 to 40 of 68

Thread: Blocking Advice Needed

  1. #31
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    Posts
    3,643
    Gender
    Male
    Took a spin through your previous threadócursory, I admit.

    So the bottom line here is that you're broken up because both of you basically came to hate being in your relationship. Now she's going on a trip. That should be that, no? Howl at the moon for a bit, keep moving forward.

    This semi-literate FB message? Regardless of truth, whoever sent that sucks. Just a pot-stirrer, someone snacking on popcorn to your drama, turning you into roadkill so they can rubberneck. That's the stuff you disengage from, unless you want to make your life a sh*tshow for the entertainment of some truly low-value randoms.

    Alas, you've engaged. She's told you her story. She probably believes it, which means it's true for her. Doesn't have to be your truth. You are two separate people now, two people who did not work. You know that. You wrote a long post here about your unhappiness. That, right there, is the one truth you share. Lean into that one, not this noise.

    Your dignity is like a child dangling from a cliff. Reach down, into yourself, and pull that child up. Last chance has been given, time to close the door, yeah?

  2. #32
    Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2017
    Posts
    107
    she needs to be shamed. and she will be unless she owns up to lying. cos i have the proof. She has one last chance
    Originally Posted by Rose Mosse
    Shamed? This is not a very nice way to think of someone. Please let go. You'll look back on this one day and feel very foolish for getting so worked up over someone who doesn't want to be with you. Let go.
    sorry that should have read "ashamed" not she needs to be shamed - as in public.

    how just one letter can change the whole context? :0

  3. #33
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Location
    Central Canada
    Posts
    13,990
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by misterjister
    The thing is i've been told by someone else who works with them that ex and new man have been seeing each other when we were together and planning holiday. She doesn't know this.

    i asked her time and again when she told me of holiday to tell the truth but she wouldnt.

    Now i know for sure but am giving her one last chance to be honest before i remove her from everything. which i know i should do anyway but before i go i want tto give her one last chance so when i do go she wont be remembered as a complete lying cheater waster- forever.
    you know the truth so check your motivation for wanting her to admit it. Just block and delete her and stop giving her all of this power that she still holds over you.

  4. #34
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Location
    Wilds of Texas
    Posts
    10,063
    Gender
    Female
    Do yourself a huge favor and just block her and leave her alone. No more contact, no last chances, no shaming, no more you telling yourself that you need any of that, because you don't. What you need to go hit the gym, take a kickboxing class, go for a run - burn off some of that rage so you can feel better and then focus on your life and what you want to do with it. Remember that best revenge isn't punishing your ex, but going on to live a fabulous life without them.

    Besides, this isn't about making her do whatever, it's about YOU trying to prove your assumptions correct by forcing another person to tell you what you want to hear. Not very cool when it's put that way now is it? Do yourself a favor and walk away with dignity and let go, including your presumptions. It doesn't matter. Your relationship is over and ex's don't stay friends. Heal, move on. It doesn't matter if your relationship ended over something major or imaginary pink elephants, only thing that matters is that YOU heal and move on.

  5.  

  6. #35
    Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2017
    Posts
    107
    everybody says just block and delete . but dont understand that i still have 2 dogs up there that i love dearly. its not their fault me and ex have problems. its like having kids in a way. because she's got a new man, not got a new man, or is just feeling it out before commiting to it publicly - isnt their fault. i know they miss me a lot. sticking it to her is doing the same to them.


    if only it was so easy .

    see?

  7. #36
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2018
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    765
    Gender
    Male
    You need to come to terms on these dogs. Once and for all. You may need to accept that she keeps them or vice versa but you cannot to and fro over them. Block her on all social media. Ring her when shges back and sort the situatgion once and for all. Then block her number.

  8. #37
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Location
    Central Canada
    Posts
    13,990
    Gender
    Female
    Well, logically and scientifically, they don't miss you because they don't think like humans. Of course they would remember you should they see you again and be glad to see you with wagging tails but its YOU that is doing the missing.

    In time, like everything else you will be able to think of them without having the longing you have for them so soon after the breakup.

  9. #38
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    Posts
    3,643
    Gender
    Male
    Originally Posted by misterjister
    everybody says just block and delete . but dont understand that i still have 2 dogs up there that i love dearly. its not their fault me and ex have problems. its like having kids in a way. because she's got a new man, not got a new man, or is just feeling it out before commiting to it publicly - isnt there fault. i know they miss me a lot. sticking it to her is doing the same to them and its not their fault.


    if only it was so easy .

    see?
    Look, I'm not a member of the Church of Block & Delete. But nor am I someone to walk down the paths you're walking down right now, and those prone to such wanderings make for good converts to that church. It helps them, immensely.

    You want a dignified ending here? That means being a dignified person. Dignified people take losses with grace, and show grace to others, and to themselves. It is that simple. You can't control her. You can control you.

    You could, per DF, go join a kickboxing club, and mold your body into beautiful machine. You could read Anna Karenina and remind yourself that what you're feeling right now are feelings that humans have felt, for centuries, and take comfort in that. You can take class in Buddhism, learn that nothing is permanent but impermanence, and apply that lesson to this moment, in order to let go with your chin high, figuring out a way to see the dogs in a way that respects the reality that what once was is no more.

    Or you can attack her over text, accuse her over text, fake-block her to get her to say the thing you need to say so your biceps feel a bit more cut and your heart a little less loose. You can do all that and fume about how immature and unfair she's being, reaching for the smallest of violins in your puppies. But you can't go down that road and wish things were more dignified, because indignant steps do not lead to dignified connections.

    Your choice, you see? Yours, not hers.

  10. #39
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Posts
    9,371
    What is it you want her to do with the dogs at this point? Do you want them back with you?

    You don't need her to confess to being in a new relationship in order to finalize what is going to happen with the dogs. Keep those issues separate.

  11. #40
    Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2017
    Posts
    107
    i'm liking that post Blu - i'm not sure what youre actually suggesting though?

    blocking and deleting might help, but it also looks immature and she'll be thinking its a sulk.

    braver to not and get my big boy pants on? if she comes texting short but polite replies. It's in the head not on social media no?

Page 4 of 7 FirstFirst 1234567 LastLast

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •