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Thread: Blocking Advice Needed

  1. #21
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    Originally Posted by misterjister
    i asked so are you too togetgher then now and she looked but didnt reply. i tell her its important to speak to me because somethings happened ( the message from co-worker). 11 years together apart from a pevious break when she did the same before and was sooo apologetic and promised me faithfully she would never do the same again.

    she needs to be shamed. and she will be unless she owns up to lying. cos i have the proof. She has one last chance.
    So you want to hurt her because she hurt you.

    Do your think that will bring you peace?

  2. #22
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    All that accomplishes in most cases is one lie being replaced by another to make something go away. Don't do this to yourself. Last chance at what? End it with her.
    Originally Posted by misterjister
    she needs to be shamed. and she will be unless she owns up to lying. cos i have the proof. She has one last chance.
    Last edited by Wiseman2; 10-18-2019 at 03:19 PM.

  3. #23
    Platinum Member Lambert's Avatar
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    Aww. I know you are hurting and it seems like she owes you. But she's not going to come through for you and give you what you need. trying to shame her to others only makes you look bad. Most people are only interested in others' problems for the entertainment value or to make themselves feel like their own lives aren't so bad. Any thing you do to try to shame her etc, is not going to be as satisfying as you anticipate. It won't feel that great and it will pass. The best thing you can do is "take your ball and go home." Rise above this, keep your chin up, block her, don't talk to her, don't do anything. Focus on doing things that support you. Life cannot be enjoyable if you are focused on revenge or what someone else is doing to harm you. Your best life comes from love and happiness you have for yourself and the people that are engaged with you on that same goal.

    She's more than likely not being honest or answering you because at the end of the day, what difference does it make. She's doing her life. Stop making it like she is doing anything to you. If she's not engaging you, then it's just you holding on, when you shouldn't. It's like a ball game. If someone throws you a ball and you don't throw it back, there's no game.

    CHIN UP!!

  4. #24
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by misterjister
    i will block her dont worry. i will hear the lie one last time then she's going to see the evidence and know that what i said all along was true* is* true.

    important that she stressed new bf were just mates and i dont want to ever lose contact with you. Well she is anyway just want her to have it embedded in her head what a complete liar she was and is...for eternity. Or she can own up and not have that on her conscience.

    im gone regardless.
    I ain't worried. It's not my life, not my spirit on the line right now.

    You are pure vengeance right now. I get it, I guess, though I've never quite had those instincts. Vengeance is the antithesis of humanity—it's ego, shot through with hurt, with the full spectrum of your humanity reduced to a bullet.

    I say put down the gun. You have your story, she has hers. In the middle is another story. Accept that that middle story is inaccessible, because it's the story people make when together, not apart. Sucks. Feels like a storm cloud right now, that middle story hovering overhead. You want to control it, fill it in, but you can't. You just can't.

    You can try, though. Have you ever been to a bar, seen that bitter, resentful dude in the corner, cursing his ex from 20 years back? That's where trying gets you. That's the climax of vengeance. It's not a cute look, and it's not a look that will fare well with future women, nor will it make brushing your teeth much fun because you won't like what you see in the mirror.

    You are not battling a war with "eternity" right now. You are a human, hurting. I'm sorry. I see your hurt, feel for you. I've been a hurt human too, and I'll be one again. These are the blows life throws at us. How we handle them becomes who we are.

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  6. #25
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    OP you are lashing out because you feel foolish.

    You know deep down that you were wrong to take her back after the first time when she (very likely) cheated. You took her back and thought that she was coming back for the right reasons but she never was. You were just easily available to her when her new fling ended and as a bonus you sucked upto HER for leaving you for another man thus validating her and easing her guilt.

    Now she's done the same again, it must be an absolute blow to the body and ego. "Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice shame on me" etcI know you felt like you did everything you could and you tried to hard but ultimately she was always going to leave because she came back out of convenience, never to stay.

    It's hard to take i know, but 'dishing the dirt' is only going to make you look bad.

    People will alreayd have an idea of what she is truly like, don't worry. This is one of those times where you need to suck it up, block+ delete her and leave with your dignity or whats left while you can.

  7. #26
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    Well ive just about come down from off the ceiling now. She didn't admit it , she doubled down. I showed her the messages i got from some random person at her work.

    It read "hi (my name) sumthing u shud no. Ur (ex name) and (name) been planning holiday 2gether for long time and on bout getting 2gether when u was with her. Everybody at (workplace) knows about it. They stopping at (hotel name and resort). I just thought you should know"

    she repleies its all "bollox" and that "we are just mates".. I say how do they know where you are staying have you put it out on social media and she says she hasn't told anyone. well someone knows.

    Maybe its a co-worker just acting malicious for s and giggles? Remember the last bloke she had a relationship just after we broke up worked there too, could be something to do with it maybe?

    anyway its freaked me the fk out and upset me bad. its obviously from a fake facebook profile - but they obviously know stuff?

    what gives people?

  8. #27
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    When liars are put on the spot they do what they do best - lie more. Give yourself peace. You know she's going with some guy who may or may not have overlapped your relationship. She's dirt, but she's gone and whoever's headache now. Save your energy for a women who deserve it. Don't more waste time on her or her coworkers/friends games. Don't let them wind you up.

  9. #28
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    The text from the coworker(the third party) is very inappropriate. That's the epitome of gossip and drivel you shouldn't be a part of. I really do have to wonder behind this person's intentions. Please extract yourself asap. You have no control over how others behave but you can control your own behaviour and thoughts.

  10. #29
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    You're not really surprised, are you?

    Has her denial brought you back to a place of hope?

    And are you ready now to block her? You gave her "one last chance", so that's it, right?

  11. #30
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    I just dont understand it. We aren't together. Who she has a relationship with is nothing to do with me, same as who i do isnt her. We both know this. We aren't getting back together anyway.

    Ive known this woman 11 years and she admitted it with the last guy- i cant give her much credit for that - but she did admit it... and it was after only 2 weeks as well.

    She's adamant this bloke is just a friend.. My gut tells me he's not, everyone ive asked in real life doesnt believe it, nobody on here has yet to say they believe it. omg its making me neurotic, ive got to have a laugh about it myself. IT DOESNT EVEN MATTER.

    I know i should block & delete but this is my best friend. I will always care for her--- its just the truth thing .... brain looping sorry.

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