Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 9 1234 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 82

Thread: Is it normal for men not to be affectionate?

  1. #1

    Join Date
    Oct 2019
    Posts
    24

    Is it normal for men not to be affectionate?

    My fiancť is not very physically affectionate on his own. He tells me he loves me everyday and kisses me but never hugs me or tries to cuddle with me. Its always a quick kiss and he pulls away. Itís starting to really bother me as I have talked to him a few
    Times and he says he is just not naturally a huggy person. If I initiate he doesnít push me away but he seems to get a little awkward and it never lasts more than a few seconds. Iím starting to really crave that in a man and itís not changing. He is not affectionate with his family either. I have never seen him hug his mother in 4 years. He does little things all the time to show me he cares and he loves me. Itís the affection thing that gets me. I donít think itís that hard to change maybe because I am very affectionate. I am feeling very rejected. Is this normal for some men?

  2. #2
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared
    Age
    53
    Posts
    37,445
    Gender
    Female
    Yes, completely normal. Normal for some women too .

  3. #3

    Join Date
    Oct 2019
    Posts
    86
    No it's not 'normal'.

    Your Fiancť is in the minority.

    Was he like this all the time? Or only since you got engaged?

    If he was the former, why are you engaged to him?

    Originally Posted by Nmr1983
    I donít think itís that hard to change
    You can't change anyone, nor should you try. That's a big red flag for me that you think you can.

    If he's like this now, it's going to get a LOT worse if you get married to him. This is a time you both should be enjoying being engaged and sorry to be crude: but ripping the knickers off each other. Marriage is tough and over the years the sex diminishes without effort on both parts. If you are not happy now, you are setting yourself up for a lot of pain and unhappiness.

    Can I ask what age you are and he? How long have you been together?

    Edited to say: Yes in fairness it is normal for some men. Aka men who have a poker up their bum, are devoid of sexuality and somewhat frigid. So I retract that it's not 'normal', normal to a small % of men (and women) who most would find highly undesirable and not an ideal candidate as a long term partner.
    Last edited by MurphyB; 10-16-2019 at 08:02 PM.

  4. #4

    Join Date
    Oct 2019
    Posts
    24
    To me, itís not trying to change him. Itís asking him to be a little more affectionate. Itís like picking your dirty clothes off the floor. would that be considered trying to change someone if you ask them to do this?

  5.  

  6. #5
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    Posts
    4,247
    Gender
    Male
    Originally Posted by MurphyB
    Was he like this all the time? Or only since you got engaged?
    Was going to ask the same thing.

    What is "normal" is simply how people "normally" behave. Some will be more affectionate than others. Not a man or woman thing, just a person thing. I've generally found the best relationships are with those whose "normal" bring us joy and comfort, rather than with those whose "normal" is a thing we hope to change in order to feel joy and comfort.

  7. #6
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared
    Age
    53
    Posts
    37,445
    Gender
    Female
    What if he asked you to be less affectionate?

  8. #7

    Join Date
    Oct 2019
    Posts
    86
    Originally Posted by Nmr1983
    To me, itís not trying to change him. Itís asking him to be a little more affectionate. Itís like picking your dirty clothes off the floor. would that be considered trying to change someone if you ask them to do this?

    That's totally different. That's just basic manners and self respect for himself more importantly. Was he brought up in a ditch?
    Thinking you can change his personality type/make up and demeanour is a whole different ball game. And one which you will lose.

    I am sensing you are very young and engaged quickly/haven't dated many people?
    Last edited by MurphyB; 10-16-2019 at 08:07 PM.

  9. #8

    Join Date
    Oct 2019
    Posts
    24
    I have had two long term relationships and both people were very affectionate.

  10. #9

    Join Date
    Oct 2019
    Posts
    86
    Originally Posted by Nmr1983
    I have had two long term relationships and both people were very affectionate.
    And what age are you if you don't mind me asking?

  11. #10

    Join Date
    Oct 2019
    Posts
    24
    I am 30 he is 32

Page 1 of 9 1234 ... LastLast

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •