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Thread: He said he “wanted to focus on himself”

  1. #1
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    He said he “wanted to focus on himself”

    The relationship I thought that would last ended about 2-3 weeks ago. I had hurt myself from sports and so that meant I was out for a while. I suddenly became depressed and sad... my ex boyfriend wasn’t there for me when I needed him most. He gave excuses such as “I needed to practice for this tournament” or “why cant i hang out with my friends?” Or “you don’t know anything about what’s happening in my life” (which that one burned through my heart more because then that means he never wanted to open up to me no matter how many times I said I was there for him) I was NEVER the controlling type of girlfriend. I always let him do what he wanted to do. EXCEPT dangerous things! Anyways, we had a fight after I told him we needed to talk and he was just furious. He was like “what do you want me to do? Say “oh okay baby, I’ll fix it and do better” You want me to act fake and act like everything is okay?” That was a sign of a toxic person... something I should’ve picked up everytime we had an argument... but after our argument, he said he needed time... 2 days pass, we never called or texted unless i said “goodmorning, be safe at work, goodnight” or whatever else. That’s all we ever said to each other. After those two days passed, he said he felt like without me and wanted to work out our relationship (like I had proposed)... well we started talking like “normally” now. But for me, our conversations still felt dead... we never even called and I waited for him to ask me if we could call... it never happened. In my heart, I knew it was already over or at least I felt like it.. so the week passes while we still have our..dead ass texts. It’s friday and I ask if he could come over.. he said if he wasn’t busy... I relentlessly said okay not fighting for anything maybe like “there’s no such thing as being too busy for the one you love” ... Saturday comes... i just text “so ig imma assume you’re not coming over” ..30 minutes pass without texting me. He then says “i’ve made up my decision” that’s when we called about our break up... the only time we actually called. It ended there.. 2 weeks after our break up, he already started to talk to a new girl and from what I learned, that girl recently broke up with her bf (she had about a 2 year relationship i think) ..but I’m just healing and doing my best. I question myself a lot whether if I miss him or the love he gave me. I realized that he was a toxic person...I gave him all the love I could give him so ig my efforts were shown.. I always pushed him to be a better person like any lover would do. But ig he I just wanted something temporary over someone good to keep. I’m just glad that I didn’t give my body to him. I would’ve regretted that... and I’m glad I took things slow even if lust was calling out to my name. Words of encouragement would be great... I’m still doing my best to be a better me and leave him. I unfriended him and everything because in the end, I couldn’t be “friends” like we agreed to be at the beginning of our break up. I was hurting too much and there was no point of him being able to snoop around my social media no more. I didn’t want to receive the confusing texts of “i miss you” or something like that no more... which he continued to do for a week after our break up. So words of encouragement would be nice. Thanks.

  2. #2
    Member simple cure's Avatar
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    It's really hard to do what you did, sometimes knowing when it's truly done and taking action on this takes so much more resolve.
    Just remembered what someone told me a long time ago. If it isn't a hell yes then it's a no.
    You opened the door for the hell yes now, so keep your mind on that instead of that no you got with this guy.
    You'll be ok.

  3. #3
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    I'm sorry for your pain, OP. In time, I think you will be okay with this being over. This doesn't sound like it was a very good relationship.

    How long were you together, and what did you argue about?

    You also mentioned you never put limitations on him, except when he wanted to do dangerous things. What sort of dangerous things was he doing?

    It stood out to me that he's already talking to another girl. The timing is a bit convenient and I would be wondering if they'd been getting closer towards the end of your relationship, leading him to distance himself from you. How did you find out about her?

  4. #4
    Administrator kamurj's Avatar
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    Multiple accounts are not allowed. Thread closed.

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