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Thread: A girl who is trying to FaceTime my boyfriend considered cheating?

  1. #1

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    A girl who is trying to FaceTime my boyfriend considered cheating?

    hello
    This is my first time on hereSo I have been dating my boyfriend letís call him grey me and grey have been dating for a month everything was good so far until the other day I got a request on Instagram from some girl letís call her M. M messages me asking me how have I been dating grey I questioned her why she said just want to know just a simple question. I said a month she said ok and that was it so I called grey and asked him if he knew this girl he said I donít know her at all. Sheís out of my league. So we left it alone. Then yesterday I was at his house and he was making dinner the phone rings we both have an iPhone 6 Iím thinking itís mine so I glanced over and saw that some girl named Aliyah was trying to FaceTime him. He didnít answer. So later on that night I went home and I text him as soon as I got home he said heís going to outside to smoke and charge his phone and he will call me as soon as he gets back inside. I waited for his call I ended up falling asleep. The next morning he text me saying good morning baby. I said good morning I waited for your call he said I know this phone is being retarded. Then I wanted to talk to him about something bothering me about last night he asked me what Was it baby. I told him about the girl FaceTiming him yesterday and M messaging me on Instagram I told him I donít trust too many girls. Grey said you donít have to trust them baby trust in me. I said donít want to get hurt he said I know. I told grey I donít want to make a big fuss he said Iím glad you asked babe Instead of assuming I love you. I said I love you too. And I made it clear that I cut off any guy who tried talking to me and he said same here. Iím not sure if I should be suspicious right away because I donít want to go to jail for beating the crap out of him or any female. Weíre both 28

  2. #2
    Platinum Member indea08's Avatar
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    Neither one of you should be cutting off every member of the opposite sex. That is completely unrealistic and controlling. Let him be who he is, and if you donít like the way you feel in the relationship then leave it. You donít get to tell him who he can talk to or who he can be friends with.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Ok after dating for 30 days, you go out on dates, try to get to know each other and enjoy each other. Are you exclusive? Have you had that conversation yet? If after such a brief time you find he's not fun or the right guy to date, you walk away, no mess no fuss. This is way too intense for 30 days of dating.

    If you think he's involved with other girls, lying, etc end it. Simple.
    Originally Posted by Moralesa
    me and grey have been dating for a month. I told him about the girl FaceTiming him yesterday and M messaging me on Instagram I told him I donít trust too many girls. I donít want to go to jail for beating the crap out of him or any female. Weíre both 28

  4. #4
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    Cheating is having sex with someone else when you're exclusively dating or it's anything you agree together is "cheating". Flirting that's not harmless might be playing with fire or inconsistent with being in a committed relationship. It's not cheating unless somehow you agreed that neither of you can ever flirt or it's "cheating"

    It really gives a negative impression when you tell your brand new boyfriend you don't trust "girls" -why? Don't you have friends who are women? Both of you should have a life and friends outside of your relationship whether you're together 30 days or 30 years.

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  6. #5
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    The world is half filled with members of the opposite sex. You both have to TALK to other people. What you talk about & the tone you take may make certain conversations off limits -- i.e. flirting -- but talking is just fine.

    Your BF is right about one thing: neither you nor he can control other people's actions. He can't help it if somebody calls him.

    The woman who contacted you about your BF is somebody who you should keep an eye on. She sounds like a pot stirrer who likes to cause drama. It's nuts to me that she would call you if she doesn't know you to talk about him. People like her are to be avoided.

    That said the idea that your response to any of this is violence to the point that you will be criminally charged indicates that you need anger management. You have only been dating this man 30 freaking days. If he cheats dump him don't ruin your whole life by beating him or anybody else up. Geesh. Violent much? Get help!

  7. #6
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    Did everyone one miss it? He lied to her. He said he didn't know this girl. "he said I donít know her at all. Sheís out of my league." And yet she's face timing him. All of you need to open your eyes. It's one thing to just chat with someone of the opposite sex, but it's another to lie about it, right after this girl contacts the OP asking how long they have been dating for....now why would anyone ask that? because this girl is trying to get some intel on him so she can figure out her next approach. She went out of her way to let the OP know she and him have been talking. Stirring the pot? yes probably to stake claim on him.
    The problem is HIM. He needs to be kicked to the curb with his love bombing ways. OP you are being a damn fool to be dating this guy.

  8. #7
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    I missed that because it was hard to read what she wrote with her writing style.

    If he lied he is still not cheating and I would not date someone who told that kind of lie.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    I can't quite understand the post, either.

    But, yes: If the IG woman and the FaceTime woman are the same woman, you have just been handed a gift. You know that the man you've been dating for 4 weeks is shady. You get to decide, now, if you want to continue to play in the shade and build a relationship in the shade, or not. I'd choose wisely there, and I'd be aware that trying to "talk it out" and "work through it" is just stepping further into the shade. Should things get darkeróas they do in the shadeóyou won't be able to point the finger at him or her or anyone but the person you see in the mirror.

    On the other hand, if these are two different womenówell, you have to just observe. The IG poke is just nonsenseóa pot-stirrer. Whether he cultivates pot-stirrers in his orbit or if she's a rogue outlier is something time will reveal, just as time will reveal who he communicates with, and how, and on what frequency. He can't control who decides to call him when, and you don't want to make a relationship founded on controlling that.

    Like Batya, I can't help but detect a pretty low view of people, and women especially, from your post. Be mindful of that. If you're pre-conditioned to think "all" women (and/or men) are untrustworthy, you'll live your life trying to prove that theory by involving yourself with people you can't trust. They're actually the minority, so be careful about tricking yourself into thinking they're the majority.

  10. #9
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    Originally Posted by smackie9
    Did everyone one miss it? He lied to her. He said he didn't know this girl. "he said I donít know her at all. Sheís out of my league." And yet she's face timing him. All of you need to open your eyes.
    I read it as M and Aaliyah being different people.

    OP, can you clarify?

  11. #10
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by smackie9
    Did everyone one miss it? He lied to her. He said he didn't know this girl. "he said I donít know her at all. Sheís out of my league." And yet she's face timing him. All of you need to open your eyes.
    Thanks for pointing this out, so I didn't have to :)

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